What Our Sidestepping Has Come To Be
by i love cory feldman
Summary: all right, this is about legolas in the year 2001 with a bunch of punk rawk friends. wow, it sounds stupid but i think it's kinda funny. 24th chapter is up.
1. So this is Ren Fest

Legolas did not know what had happened. He remembered a quick battle with some orcs, and reaching up to a headwound, remembered a glancing blow from a spear. He was still in the clearing but there was no sign of the orcs. Legolas knew he had killed at least two. Why would they have taken their dead? They had no emotions for one another.   
  
How long had he been dead to the world?  
  
Dusk was beginning and in the distance he could hear music and laughter. Wearily he made his way towards it. Through the trees he saw many people dancing to a small group of minstrels playing in a gazeebo. Small tents surrounded the clearing about the gazeebo and there was a building with a pub for a ground floor. The trees round about were tall and comforting but they spoke of nothing to Legolas. There was one lady-elf nearby under a large live oak. Her skirts were gathered about her, as she was sitting rather childeshly (or so Legolas thought). She laughed heartily as she watched the wild dance around her but she declined participation. It was she who Legolas decided to approach.  
  
"Hail! my lady-" he said, bowing deeply. She grinned unabashedly.   
  
"And hail yourself, sir. Who are you, and from whence did you come?" She seemed to be enjoying the simple introductions, but to Legolas' surprise, did not so much as rise. Perhaps she was injured.  
  
"Legolas Greenleef, of Mirkwood, my lady. What is your name?"   
  
This seemed to throw her into a fit. She laughed and laughed, and then finally stood. "Well, then you're my favourite." Legolas looked at her, puzzled. She rolled her eyes up and shook her head smiling. "My name is Everlease," she said, bowing, and as if on second thought, she added, "of Spring."   
  
Legolas smiled. Before he could say another word, a young boy came crashing into her. "Ryan!" she cried. "I told you to go play with the ponies."  
  
"Mommy, look at his ears! He has elf ears like us today!" Ryan exclaimed delightedly.  
  
Legolas smiled confusedly.   
  
"Yes, I know sweetheart. Everybody likes being an elf. Now go look at those ponies before I tear you up," Everlease warned, and ruffled his hair before he ran off again. "Sorry about that. What were you saying?" she asked politely.  
  
Legolas stared after the boy and then looked at his mother with a new curiousity. 'Everyone likes being an elf.' "Well, I was walking in the woods just now, and have realized that I have lost my way."  
  
Before he could say another word, Everlease's smile melted away. She inhaled sharply and closed her eyes, muttering a sharp set of words. Legolas flinched, though not knowing what he had said that had caused such a negative reaction. He watched her small hands turn into balls of white knuckles and red mottled flesh. Eyes still shut, she murmured, "Look, buddy, if you want a freaking ride home, go ask Big Scott. You look like a Ren Fest freak, I'm sure you know which one he is." Her eyes opened and the grey colour in them that was like a calm October sky was now wrath like a storm. Legolas felt hurt, confused yet ashamed. He felt as though he had done something wrong. Since she was already upset, he could at least try to help the situation.  
  
"Lady Everlease, I did not mean any harm by my words. I have simply wandered afar from my people and do not know the way back. If you could point me to some other means of food and shelter then I would be willing to abandon your presense of mine."   
  
Everlease stared back at him. Her eyes lessened and were not as flamey as they had been but she still studied him. "I'll take you to the city and get you somewhere you can stay." Legolas smiled. "But only if you'll help me pick up my booth for the night." He shrugged and followed her lead, packing small goods and toys into boxes. 


	2. Vehicles of Thought

For Legolas, the car ride to the city, 20 minutes away, was like being escorted in a magical coach. Several times Everlease looked to her right to stare at Legolas, as he seemed almost frightened.   
  
Legolas could not understand why they had to tie Ryan to a small poorly crafted chair in the rear of the vehicle, until the car begin to move. Then Legolas grasped the tie that bound him to the seat, the "seatbelt."  
  
To him Everlease seemed most magical. She traveled as fast as a horse endowed with a single rider and had the ability to fill the car with music at the touch of a button. But he said nothing of his newness to the magic round about him, partly for pride and partly for fear. He did not know what would ensue. The ride "home" was magical, with trees and "homes" whizzing by, homes that to him looked like small mansions. The music that filled the car was that of a strange lute and the distressed voice of a young boy:  
  
'so you buried all your lover's clothes  
and burned the letters lover wrote   
but it doesn't make it any better  
does it make it any better?  
and the plaster dented from your fist  
in the hall where you had your first kiss  
reminds you that the memories will fade.'  
  
When the song ended, Everlease slapped at a button and the sound was gone. He glanced at her sideways as she let out a shuddering sigh. Legolas was sorry to hear no more of the strange enchanting music. "What was it?" he asked quietly.  
  
She laughed quietly. "What, you don't like Dashboard?"   
  
"Your pardon?" he asked, confused.  
  
"It was Dashboard Confessional."  
  
"No," he said, still confused. "Why are you saddened by the poetry of this boy?"  
  
Once more, Everlease laughed. "It's just--"  
  
But Ryan was stirring in the backseat. "Mommy, I have to go to the bathroom! Why are you passing our street?"  
  
Everlease rolled her eyes, and with what appeared to Legolas as tremendous skill, manuevered the beast of a vehicle until it was once again facing north. She turned onto a quiet road, that lead to a small building with few windows. Legolas furrowed his eyebrows. Who would live in such place, bricked into darkness? He wondered how many candles they had to light just to cast a meager warmth onto the walls. Everlease interruppted his thoughts.  
  
"Get out." He stared at her as she unbuckled his seatbelt. "Come on, you can come inside for a minute." Legolas stared at her in wonder, and got out. "But I've got to warn you," she called over her shoulder as they walked towards the building, "I'll kill you if you try to touch me. I keep three knifes on me during Ren Fest and I don't want to have to shove one into ya."  
  
Legolas lamented that he had somehow made her feel ill of him. "Lady Everlease, I mean no harm to you or your son--"  
  
"Drop the 'Lady' crap."  
  
"What?" Legolas exclaimed, thrown completely off gaurd.  
  
"Drop it. I have that crap thrown at me all day. Lady this, and Lady that. If someone would just call me Everlease I think I would be half sane."  
  
There was a silence as she used a small flat key to open the door. They climbed the narrow, poorly made staircase in silence as well, and she then used another small flat key to open another door. Legolas gathered that this was her home, as Ryan now left her side in a mad dash.   
  
"Man, every time I turn around, that kid has to pee."  
  
Legolas glanced at Everlease, shook his head, and then contented himself to gaze around. "Should we light a candle?" he asked, taking it all in.  
  
Everlease laughed. "OK, I know, it's dark but i'm not turning on any lights cos it's a mess." She smiled at him in the dark. "You might not ever see me again but if you don't I don't want to be remembered for having a filthy home."  
  
"La--...Everlease, I would remember you for your kindness and forgiving manner. Truly there are not many left of your kind." Legolas unconsiously spoke in a warm, low tone, and Everlease felt herself smiling, regardless of the severe strangeness of the events.   
  
They were quiet for a moment, and the moonlight filtered in on the berber carpet, showing toys and trinkets that Legolas assumed belonged to Ryan. As if reading his thoughts, Everlease turned round in concern and called, "Ryan?"   
  
A reply came from a room not too far away: "I'm playing in my room, Mommy!"  
  
Everlease rolled her eyes. "Ryan we have to take the nice man home, now come on."   
  
Legolas took a leaping step towards the door. "I can let myself out," he said lowly.  
  
"But you don't have anywhere to stay! And what about Ren Fest tomorrow, don't you have to work? Do you have a ride?" Everlease suprised even herself with her stream of questions.   
  
'This Ren Fest again,' thought Legolas. 'It must be a festival of sorts that goes on for many days.' He supposed it was the best place for him anyways. It was quite unlike the "city."   
  
To Everlease Legolas was undaunted and seemed to answer swiftly. "I shall stay where I will. At the hour of dawn I will wait for you by the car." Legolas felt the word odd rolling off his tongue. It seemed unnatural.   
  
Everlease felt a strange sense of relief surge through her. "All right," she said. "Then I'll see you tomorrow."  
  
"Tomorrow," he replied, backing out through the door. "And many wishes of fair dreams tonight, Everlease."   
  
Everlease smiled and shut the door, put her back against it and slid down it. She could not believe that she was dabbling with another Renaissance Festival lunitic.  
  
Legolas let himself out the ground floor door, and heard it click locked behind him. He ran lightly on the grass ahead of the building, and stared at the moon. He would sleep here on the grass. 


	3. Morning Of

Everlease awoke before 4:30, to begin to apply her extensive make up for her job at the Renaissance Festival. She had taken drama from the time that she was 12 until she was 20, and stage make up had been her strong point. Therefore, Ren Fest was her favourite time of year. She molded elf ears, and then adhered them carefully to her own. She tweezed her eyebrows with a gap in them, then filled the gap in with a make up pencil to be highly arched. She was slowly training her eyebrows to grow this way but it would be years before it would be natural. As for dress, she had a closetful of medieval dresses that she had collected over the years. She selected one, and then went to wake up Ryan, to apply his ears.  
  
Legolas had been awake since four. He had explored the nearby "Burrough's Park" as thoroughly as any local. When the dawn neared, he scaled the building to a second floor window above the car, then waited for Everlease to appear.   
When Everlease drew near to the car and began to tie Ryan into his "car seat," Legolas lithely jumped down and tried to tread heavily over to her in order to not startle her.  
  
She froze at his first "heavy" footprint.  
  
"Who are you and why are you walking towards me," she asked, her voice cold and stiff, not turning. Her hand dropped to her thigh and through two layers of skirts, where she grasped the hilt of a knife.  
  
Ryan pointed over her shoulder and laughed. "Mommy, it's just that elf from yesterday!"   
  
Legolas watched her shoulders fall and her hand stray from the knife. She finished tying Ryan down and turned to Legolas. "So you do want a ride."  
  
"Yes, Everlease, that is all I ask of you." She shook her head and smiled.  
  
Ryan slept most of the way there. Legolas watched his peaceful slumber for quite some time, then turned to Everlease smiling, and forgetting himself. "I know from whence came his mouth and nose, Lady, but still have I to meet your Lord before I may meet the origin of his eyes and thick hair."  
  
Everlease frowned, and grumbled, "If you meet my "Lord", tell him to give me a shout."   
  
Legolas stared back at her. "Has he long been away then?"  
  
Everlease pulled the car to a stop for a "red light." She looked Legolas directly in the eyes. "My entire world revolves around prom night of 1997. I lost my virginity to Daniel Rooke and conveniently never saw him again. Ryan is my life and I wouldn't trade him for anything but I would really ask that you never bring that up again." There was a silence between them, and the light turned green. The car moved forward once more.   
  
Legolas stared ahead, lost in thought. Surely he was not putting this together right.  
  
But before he had too much time to think, they had arrived at the site of this much debated "Ren Fest." He had watched Everlease tie Ryan in, and now succeded in unbinding the child. Ryan at once ran to see the ponies, and Legolas began to help Everlease with her "booth." 


	4. Questions and Answers

_everlasting disclaimer...._

  


i do not own legolas nor do i own any of the characters, settings or views of middle earth. they all belong to the horrible under-worshipped j.r.r. tolkien. (what a genious.) i do own everlease and ryan and any other characters that come into play. and i don't own dashboard confessional though i do wish i could date the guy. ha ha. thank you. this disclaimer will serve as a disclaimer for all the other chapters. please. thank you.   


* * *

Legolas gladly welcomed the distraction of setting up the booth as he had been greatly disturbed by the conversation that had taken place in the car. From what he could gather from the odd dialect of Everlease, she had only known one man and never seen him again, Ryan was her only real posession, and she considered it all to be the greatest of sorrows. He had many questions that he dared not ask of Everlease. He actually thought her quite intelligent and though he did not think himself stupid, he did not risk showing his ignorance to her. Legolas wondered of whom else he could inquire.   


Only one question did he venture: "Everlease? What's your full name?"   


She did not look up from the trinkets she was arranging. "Everlease Adore Ravenfall." She paused. "SO WHAT if I changed it." Legolas stared at her, and she laughed even without realizing his gaze. Turning, she added, "I used to be Mary Doris Fussle, but who the hell would think of me as an elf then?"   


At this even Legolas had to laugh. The thought of an elf named Mary Doris Fussle was just too much.   


"I am a firm believer that children should choose their own name," she continued. "Ryan is just a default name until he finds one that suits him better." Legolas thought of this and decided it actually quite wise. But she then threw in, "I won't even ask what your name was." Legolas glared away for a moment, then decided against a reply.  


Legolas could stand it no longer. He knelt beside Everlease and looked into her eyes. "I have many things to ask you."   


"Then shoot, partner," she said laughingly.  


Legolas took this for a 'go ahead.' "Are we still in the third age?"  


Everlease studied his face for a long time. His eyes were unwavering, his mouth in a strait thin line, and his jaw firm. She was almost afraid he meant it. She had noticed a cut on his forehead that was accompanied by a bruised bump; perhaps he had had a concussion, and had amnesia. But he looked like he knew just who he was. _Maybe he's just a loony in la la land who's read a little too much Tolkien for his own good,_ she thought. Either way, she figured she could pull in a little cash with this bird.   


Much to Legolas' surprise, Everlease did not respond. He had expected an honest and caring answer. Instead, she turned round and called, "Tom! I need you to make me a sign!!! I've got an idea."  


Five minutes later, Legolas found himself sitting cross legged on the ground under a sign that read, "Answer a question of a Middle Earth elf!! $1." His eyebrows knitted, he watched as a family of four excitedly read the sign. _This lot is dressed like goons,_ he thought, as they heaved a piece of paper at Everlease and pranced over to him. The mother of them, clearly thrilled, clapped and said, "Well come on then, throw one at us."  


Legolas thought of the advantages of the situation.  


"What's a prom?"  



	5. Filthy Lucre

Legolas used the con to his advantage, and much to his surprise, his questions seemed like jests to those who answered them. But in his search for answers, Legolas found that he was in quite another world. The question, "Where are we?" returned many different answers. Some said Texas, some said the U.S., some said America, and still others just simply replied "the South." When he was thoroughly confused as to his whereabouts, he was even more amazed to find that it was now the year 2001. He asked whether it was 2001 of the fourth or maybe fifth age and they thought that was even funnier, and tossed him an obviously fake silver coin. He in turn tossed it aside. br  
p  
  
At the least, he now no longer felt incapable of carrying on a rather average conversation with Everlease. It wasn't that he wanted to impress her, it was just that he didn't want her to feel that he was stupid. br  
p  
  
  
At the end of the day, Legolas teaching Ryan how to write his name, when Everlease approached the two and told them it was time to help pack up. Ryan took this as his cue to go and be entertained by the ponies. Everlease paused a while to look at Ryan's progress in writing. "I think he's done terribly well," Legolas commented. "Some of the characters are distorted, but he's still young." br  
p  
  
  
Everlease hm-ed in acknowlegement to the statement, but ran her fingers over the writing distractedly. "Yeah. What is this?" br  
p  
  
  
It was Legolas' turn to look confused. "Well, I thought it was at least legible." He and Everlease glanced at each other out of the corner of their eyes. Legolas rose and looked down at her. She looked away and began packing up. br  
p  
  
  
"Help me," she said, tonelessly. He did this, and Everlease folded the paper they had been practicing on and put it in her box of goods. "Where do you live?" she asked a few moments later. br  
p  
  
  
Legolas thought briefly, then shrugged his shoulders lightly. "Nowhere really. I don't work here, either. Somebody said I had 'amnesia.'" He continued putting things away. Everlease did not. br  
p  
  
  
Before she knew what she was saying, words were falling off her lips that she had not checked. "My neighbour said something about wanting a roommate. You could stay with him for a while." She paused and scanned over her statement. iWhat the--?/i she thought. iWhat am I doing?/i But while she was thinking these thoughts, she was also spilling other information to him. "You made 200 dollars today alone. If you keep this up you won't have to share an apartment." She found herself offering him the money. br  
p  
  
  
Legolas stared at the nasty wad of papers she held out to him. Today he had learned that these were "dollars" and they were made of "pennies" though they looked like they were made of parchment. He took them anyway. They felt uncomfortable, all balled up in his hand. He wanted to drop them. But apparently they were quite valuable. br  
p  
  
  
"Oh! I'm stupid--you probably don't have a wallet on you," Everlease said, more to herself than to him. "Where would you keep it--in your tights?" she muttered. She grabbed a bag and shoved it at him. br  
p  
  
  
Hastily, Legolas threw the dollars in. "I'm not wearing tights," he assured her. For all he knew he was. All he knew is that someone had laughed and said he was wearing tights, therefore he did not want to be wearing any such a laughable thing as "tights." br  
p  
  
  
"Oh whatever," Everlease laughed. "Come on, get Ryan and let's go home." br  
p  
  
  
She wondered why she felt so odd putting those words together. br  
p 


	6. The Infamous Carter

a/n: i'm sorry it has been so long. but i have been busy cos me and my friend ian started dating and i'm so happy now! ^o^!!!! btw, i would really appreciate any advice on where to take this story. thanks a lot for the encouraging reviews!   


* * *

To Everlease, Legolas seemed thrilled with the prospect of getting a home.   


Actually, he wasn't all that excited, but he felt that Everlease wanted him to be. So he smiled, and said he would love to try that. The more he thought about it, the more excited he actually became. This would be good for him. He was still curious as to how he got here, to this 'city.' But he figured that as he had no way of getting back yet, he might as well get a home and keep his newfound occupation at the "Ren Fest."   


Everlease dreaded speaking with her neighbour, Carter. He was in constant altered state, usually being magnificantly stoned. But she trudged up the stairs, feeling a mixture of dread and anxiety. She handed off Ryan to Legolas, on whose shoulder he snuggled up. Only later did she consider the gesture of trust, on both her's and Ryan's parts. She banged at the door and shouted, "EDWARD!" She could hear some sort of awful synth-techno leaking through every crack in the door. "_EDWARD CARTER! OPEN UP THIS DOOR!_"   


Legolas winced. What was this thing?  


Carter opened the door stark naked. "Hey, baby!" he grinned.  


_"For the love of GOD!_" Everlease shouted, squeezing her eyes shut. "Put some friggin pants on!"  


The door partially closed. After a moment, the door was opened again, and Carter stood half-dressed. Still grinning like a hyena. "Hey, doll! You haven't come to see me in way too long! Come on in, come on in." He waved for her to enter his apartment. Everlease glanced back at Ryan and Legolas, and handed him the keys.   


"You put my baby to sleep. I will watch you. If you try anything, I will kill you. Do you hear me?" she said to him.  


Legolas did not blame her now for her protectiveness. "You have my word, he will be in bed shortly."  


Everlease wondered lightly what his word consisted of. "All right. Then come back down here."  


Legolas nodded. Everlease turned her attention again to Carter, who had disappeared somewhere in his apartment, and had left the door slightly ajar. She could hear him shouting nonsense over the music. "Everlease, you know what I did today. Everlease, you know? Hey, man, hey. You know, I went down there, shit, man, you know? Yeah!!"  


Everlease rolled her eyes and cleared a place to sit down on the couch. Putting her heavy leather boots up on the coffee table, she knocked over a half-full beer, which now sat overturned, soaking the filthy carpet. She raised her eyebrows and glanced away, quite unalarmed.   


Carter excitedly sat down next to her and put an arm around her. Everlease wrinkled her nose, as he reeked of beer, morning breath, and weed, not to mention body odor. She allowed herself to be stared at. She needed Carter's full attention, even if her cleavage was getting the best of it. "Carter," she started. "You know you were looking for a roommate," his eyes widened, "and NO, I'm not talking about me and Ryan, I would never let you touch him and I don't want you near me on a regular basis," Carter's face simmered down into his usual glazed over smile, "I'm talking about my friend."  


Carter smiled. "Man, I was this close," he shouted, shoving a forefinger and thumb in Everlease's face. She smirked at him and pushed away his hand.   


"Anyways, he's going to stay with you now."  


Carter frowned. "Man, is he one of those Ren-na-, Rennai-, is he one of those people that goes to those things like you?"  


Everlease grabbed his face. "_Ren-ai-ssance Fes-tiv-al._"   


Carter giggled, and Everlease let him go, then stood up. "Are ya leavin so soon?" he lamented, reaching for her.  


"Yes," she replied, striding away from his outstretched arms, "I am. I'll be right back with him." Momentarily she returned, hauling Legolas into the room. Legolas flinched at this filth. Everlease turned to him and closely said, "I know, I know, 'What in God's name', but look, it's better than sleeping God knows where." Legolas looked quite unconvinced. "I promise I'll come for you in the morning."  


Legolas spoke. "Nay, Lady, I will come for you." Everlease grinned, and Legolas managed a sickly smile. She patted his arm, and he patted her hand. Then she left. As she walked through her own door, she shook her head, smiling.   


_God bless him,_ she thought. _Cos he's gonna need it._  



	7. Discarded

a/n: i'm now taking like 15 credit hours at two different schools so i am a little busy. but since i love tolkien and esp. legolas so much, i will go ahead and keep writing. besides i need the practice. two of my classes are creative writing and british literature. make sure to leave me suggestions and questions, i will answer them. ^~^ i will fix this thing! love, sarah.  


* * *

Everlease made sure to hurry this morning, as much as she could without ruining her make-up. She sinched up her corset and threw on a dress, then woke up Ryan and hastily applied his small elf ears and put him in his clothes. They ran to the door and she yanked it open, only to find Legolas sitting cross legged on the ground before them. Everlease had to stop herself before she tripped right over him. He looked traumatized.  


"Oh, Lord!" she cried. "God, are you alright? You look awful!"   


Legolas stared up at her, then raised himself up to his full height, a full six feet and three inches. he stared down at her face. "What is that man, and why is he allowed to live amongst people such as yourself?"  


Everlease now felt the guilt surge through her. She really had left him with Carter, and Carter really was the devil incarnate. What had she been thinking? _God, I wonder if he drank or smoked anything Carter gave him?_ She had no time to answer herself, because he interrupted her thoughts.  


"I am now, as a result of last night, filthy with the stench of that man's lair. His foul words ring in my ears and his grossly intoxicated face lingers on the backs of my eyelids. I do not know how he has existed in this world. Might I ask what his purpose is, and whether he is true to it?" Legolas spat out, vaguely aware that Everlease' pride appeared to be shrinking.  


Everlease knew that her guilt was shining through. "God, I am so sorry," she murmured, pulling him into the apartment with her. "Are you hungry? Would you like anything to eat? Do you just need to sleep somewhere? You didn't drink anything he gave you did you? Oh, God, I feel so bad!" Everlease began to chide herself aloud. "Why would I do this to anyone? How could I leave anyone with that freaking bastard?" She nervously trekked into the kitchen to get him a Coke or something. Everlease begin to call for him to ask what he wanted but then realized that she didn't even know his real name. "Hey," she called timidly. "Is this kind of a bad time to ask you what your real name is?"  


Legolas strode into the kitchen and grabbed her by her shoulders making her give a little gasp. "I will speak in all truthfulness now, Milady. Will you hear me out?" Everlease nodded, scared. She couldn't reach her knives. Legolas continued. "I am from Middle-Earth, the third age. My real name _is_ Legolas Greenleaf and I _am_ the Prince of Mirkwood. So far I have been treated as a joker, a stranger, an enemy, and an unwanted burden, but not as a Prince! And not even as a friend." Everlease looked down. "I ask only that you try to listen to me. Whether you believe me or not, I am who I say I am, and would like a little more respect. An Elf such as yourself should know better than to treat royalty as a child." He subconsciously shook her lightly and then pushed her away.   


Everlease was idle only for a second. Then in a flash she was up against him with the tip of a knife to his throat. Her words were deep and she nearly growled as she spoke. "My name is Mary and I am a mother and I have nothing against you but your recent violence. I did apologize and I did it sincerely. While you are in my home, you will behave as a normal human being and I will not sit idly by while you intimidate me in front of my child in my household. I have tried to be a friend to you and you have repaid me in all shamelessness and rudeness. If you were what you say you are, you would show more chilvalry towards me. I don't believe you for one second because this is America and America is full of stark raving lunitics like you and me. I know what I am and I know what you are. We're both liars in our own forms, but I will not have you treat me like a slave. You're no God-damned prince to me. So you can take your act out of my house and stay away from me and my child." Everlease lowered the blade and as a second thought, slit his shoulder. "Bastard," she growled. "Get out!"  


Legolas stared down at her small face and wondered at her. But he did not have time to wonder long. He walked calmly from the kitchen and exited the apartment, then the building. As he walked through the parking lot, he heard Everlease run down with a crying Ryan, and speed away in her car. He calmly walked through the feild to Burrough's Park. The blood flowed out of his shoulder but he didn't care.  


* * *

a/n: i know this is crappy and sort of depressing. but come on, you've got to be realistic. what, was she just going to stand there and take that crap? and don't _tell_ me that he wasn't going to dish it out. i'm just being a realist. kisses! love, sarah.  



	8. Beren

a/n: i'm writing this while i'm in class so if some of it doesn't make sense, don't blame me. ^_~. love, sarah  


* * *

Legolas walked more swiftly once he was in the actual park. The benches and bushes blurred by. Legolas' eyes were filled but he didn't feel like he was crying. He was just upset. All of the sudden, he nearly tripped over a body lying in the pathway of a young man.   


Legolas looked down at him. His skin was pale and mottled, and pierced and tattooed. His head was shaven except for a strip of raven hair down the middle of his head, and that was straightened to stand up in spikes. His clothes were tattered and worn and had many rings and chains, and his black boots were scuffed. A few feet above his head lie a puddle of vomit. Legolas smelled him from where he now stood. He approached the man and cautiously crouched next to him, and carefully nudged him with an outstretched finger.  


"Fucker!" the man yelled, and jumped back, and then to his feet. Legolas stood and realized the man was nearly as tall as he. But he did not feel threatened. He felt the youth of the man as though it were written on his forehead. But as he watched, the man's face changed. "Fuckin' A! Fuckin' Dungeons and Dragons, man!"   


Legolas wondered what the fascination with the root word 'fuck' was. He had not before heard this word. But he did not feel the need to work it into his dialect. The man acted as though he recognized him, and Legolas almost welcomed the mention of two dreaded things. Dreaded, but familiar. He decided it must be an expression of alarm and danger. Legolas threw out an upturned hand to signal peace. "My good man, I meant you no harm. My apologies to having not seen you--"  


The man cut off his apologies. "Jesus Christ! Look at your arm, man!" Legolas looked down at his shoulder and realized he was soaked in blood. "Come on man, I'll get you a bandage or something." His hand wandered up to his head and clutched a particularly red mark. "Shit, I'll bet I hit my goddamn head again." He looked at Legolas. "Come on, man." They began to walk, in the direction that Legolas had been walking in. They came to another, larger, apartment complex. Legolas surveyed it. There were more windows, and no bricks. Just slats of wood. The apartments were smaller and more numerous, but he decided he liked it more. "What's your name, man?" the man asked him.  


Legolas internally sighed. "My name is Legolas," he tried, almost questioningly, as though he knew the man would not believe him.  


"Hey, man, bad-ass, I got named after Tolkien, too!" The man looked at him with a sort of awe, then shook his head and continued. "Damn, out of everybody I've ever met... Anyways, my name's Beren." Now it was Legolas' turn to stare in awe. "...but my friends call me Bear."   


"Surely," Legolas started, "this is not a chance meeting." Bear threw his head back and laughed.  


"Crap and you sound like Tolkien too." He noticed the look that Legolas gave him. "And you look like him!" Legolas looked away, bored with the attention.   


"I was supposed to go to the Ren Fest today," Legolas substituted.   


"Ohhh, I see," Bear said, appearing to understand. Legolas figured he had said the right thing. They passed the metal staircase and went to a ground level door. Bear opened the locked door. The apartment smelled vaguely like Carter's, but was actually clean. "Cigarette?" he asked, planting a small white stick in his mouth and holding one out to Legolas. Legolas watched as Bear took a small vial of fluid, waved his thumb over it. A flame shot up from the vial and lit the "cigarette." Bear put the vial in his pocket and proceeded to smoke the "cigarette." Legolas politely declined and the offered cigarette disappeared into Bear's shirt pocket. But Legolas watched him smoke the cigarette out of the corner of his eye, greatly interested. He had never seen anyone smoke something other than through a pipe yet this "Bear" stood before him, puffing away on a white stick. Bear exclaimed, "Oh yeah, shit, your arm." Legolas looked down again. The blood was turning a deep brown and getting sticky. Bear ran into the 'bathroom.' "Whoa, gotta piss first," he called, and Legolas made a face as he heard the sound of Bear relieving himself.   


Legolas glanced around at the apartment. The furniture was sparse, and the carpet was stained, but both were clean. There were a few glass trays on small tables and the ground that had the ends of smoked cigarettes in them, and ashes. There was a 'trashcan' full of metal cans with script on them. There were parchment-tapestries on the wall with pictures of people; some also had script on them. Bear soon reappeared with a roll of bandaging. "Come in here, man, and take off your shirt." Legolas followed him into the bathroom and pulled his shirt off. The cut was not as bad as Bear had thought. "What happened man?" Bear asked as he handed Legolas a wet washcloth.  


Legolas bathed the wound. "She was angry with me, and cut me."  


Bear gave him a sympathetic glance. "Aw, man, huh? That sucks. My girlfriend left me a month ago, but it's all right though cos I have a good job. Did she kick you out?" Legolas found himself nodding. "Yeah, looks like she's a real tiger," Bear remarked staring at Legolas' shoulder. Legolas shrugged. "Man, I'm sorry, she's probably pretty cool most of the time. What's her name?"   


Legolas thought of Everlease. That was not the lady he had words with this morning. "Mary," he said quietly.   


"Mmm," Bear nodded. "The wind cries Mary."  


Legolas found this statement beautiful but disturbing. "I don't want to speak of her right this moment, please," Legolas murmured.   


"Right, right." Bear looked at his eyes. "You OK, man? We don't gotta talk about it." Legolas looked away, and took the roll of bandaging Bear gave him. He shakily rolled it around his shoulder and under his arms several times, then Bear cut it with sheaves and put a small clip on the bandage to stay it from unravelling.   


"Hey, man, I don't know how attached you are to this shirt but it's all bloody now." Legolas shrugged.   


"I suppose it's worthless now," he admitted.  


"Yeah." Bear threw it in the trashcan. "I got a Ramones shirt you can wear. And---" he paused, "some jeans?" Legolas did not appear to care. So Bear went into his bedroom and dug the clothes out of his closet. "You look like you can wear these. Oh, and here's some chucks." Bear handed him the clothes and kicked some black and white slippers at him that laced up on the top. Legolas stared at the shoes. "Oh, socks, you're right," Bear guessed, and threw him some soccer socks. He left the room and went to dress his own head wound. "Goddamn, I smell like puke again," he lamented as he wandered out of the room. Legolas carefully put on the clothes, then walked back into the larger room where Bear was standing absently.  


"Hey, man, are you hungry?" Legolas shrugged. "You wanna go to the Ren Fest, dontcha."   


Legolas thought about it. He really didn't have anywhere else to go. "I guess."   


"Well come on, man, let's go! We can get some of those big ass turkey legs! Crap, man, I haven't been there in like three years!" Bear grabbed his keys and little box of cigarettes off the table and motioned for Legolas to follow him. He had a small car like Everlease. "We'll go to Shawn's and see if he wants to get off his ass and go."  


Legolas winced, and wandered what the difference between an ass and an ass turkey was. He guessed it didn't matter.  



	9. Hello Shawn, Good bye Hair

a/n: once more, i'm in class. so once more, sorry if the writing seems distracted. mmm...thank goodness for laptops.. ^_v !!  


* * *

"I'm gonna warn you about Shawn, man," Bear said out of nowhere, when they got in the car. Legolas looked at him blankly. "He's kind of an odd fuck, if you know what i mean," he said confidentally, as though he were including Legolas in a large secret. Legolas raised his eyebrows, pretensing an interest. "He used to work at Circuit City, and he had to dress up every day in a dress shirt and dress pants. He got so used to it, cos he like, lived there or some shit. Then he got really depressed and quit cos he said _they weren't giving him enough hours._ Can you believe that? Sheez, man, I've quit jobs cos they were giving me too many hours. But Shawn's weird like that. Now he still lives at home, he's twenty one, he won't _touch_ the subject of a girlfriend, and he drinks like the devil. Man, now he sets his alarm every morning for 5:00, trims his hair, shaves, puts on a dress shirt and dress pants, and drinks a bottle of wine. He's clinically insane! Man, he just needs to get laid and get a damn job." Bear shook his head. "I feel sorry for him, you know?" Legolas absently nodded. "Damn, man," Bear muttered.  


About five minutes later, they arrived at a small row of cottages, very close together. Legolas figured it must be some sort of spread out 'apartment complex.' The cottage they halted in front of was numbered 18390. Legolas walked up to the door with Bear, and watched Bear beat on it. It was shorty thereafter thrown open by a small boyish figure. He stood maybe 5 foot 6, was very thin and pale skinned. He had large brown eyes, and was moving a buzzing metal object over his head, and to Legolas appeared to be shearing himself. Legolas wondered why; his black hair was already close cut to his head. He was wearing a black cotton jacket over a white button up shirt that was starched and stiff but untucked, and black pants that were actually quite nice. "Shawn," Bear stated.  


"Beren," Shawn returned.   


Bear pushed past Shawn, dragging Legolas with him. Shawn shut the door, still shearing away. Legolas watched tiny locks of hair fall to the ground. "It's haircut day today," Shawn stated calmly, in a low, clear voice. "Do you need a haircut?" he asked politely, offering the shearer to Bear and then to Legolas. His eyes lighted on Legolas' hair. "Saaaaay, girl!" he crooned, knoting his eyebrows. "Let me cut that hair." He smiled and Bear's eyes widened.   


"Crap, man, I haven't seen him look that happy in years! Let 'em cut your hair, man!" Bear exclaimed.   


Legolas started to protest, then sighed in emotional defeat and followed Shawn and Bear into a bathroom. He sat down on a small stool, slumping, and stared into a mirror. _What would my father say if he could see me now?_ Legolas' eyes widened at the thought. _He would be terrified. Most likely he'd string a bow and shoot me...giving up to an elven maiden like that._ Legolas' heart sank. He vowed not to think of her if he could think of it.   


They pulled off the Ramones shirt as to not get hair all over it. Shawn eyed the bandage nonchalantly and then turned his attention to the flowing blonde head of hair before him.  


Shawn's small mouth curved into a small smile, and his sad brown eyes stayed emotionless. "Hold still," me mumbled. He then pulled a pair of small shearing scissors from a drawer and chopped off a bit of Legolas' hair. Seeing that it had no effect on Legolas, Shawn cut the most part of Legolas' long blonde hair with a frightening amount of skill, or so Bear thought. Shawn then proceeded to turn on the buzzing shears. Legolas tensed up, and Shawn put a small hand on his Legolas' shoulder. "No need to fear, I do this _all the time,_" Shawn assured him.   


Bear gave Legolas another assuring nod in the mirror, and mouthed, '_All_ the time.' Legolas relaxed and allowed his head to be sheared. But when Shawn got to the top, he left a small strip of shortly shaved hair, the rest of Legolas' head being cleanly shaven. Legolas looked questioningly at Shawn in the mirror. Shawn stared into the mirror at Legolas.   


"Taxi cab mohawk," he mumbled. Bear grinned. Legolas had to smile too, as he did look quite amusing. But he then stopped smiling, as Shawn was running a small fingertip over the tip of Legolas' pointed ears. Legolas suddenly felt self conscious, for the first time ever, about his ears. The only other Elves he had seen were Everlease and Ryan. And they had both acted as though it were uncommon to have 'ears' like this. And now he no longer had his hair to hide them; he felt exposed. Quickly he shoved Shawn's small hand away. Shawn flickered his small tongue at Legolas and hissed; he then shrugged emotionlessly, and wandered from the room.   


Bear gave Legolas an 'I told you so' look, mumbled something about Shawn being a crazy drunk, then exited also. Legolas stood and brushed the hair from his shoulders and back, then reclad himself in the 'Ramones' shirt. Glancing at himself in the mirror he paused. But for his ears, he looked nothing like an elf. Much less an elven warrior prince. He had left his bow and his arrows in Everlease's apartment. The thought of her once more made his stomach rise. He told himself that he wasn't upset, he was merely angry with himself for not telling her her place. But somehow he doubted he could've done that. He thought of Ryan's shocked face as he watched his mommy cut Legolas, and the way he cried when Everlease had carried him out to the car. He then followed the sound of Bear's voice and Shawn's murmurings.   


"..so anyways, we were gonna run up to the fair grounds and go to the Ren Fest," Bear was saying.  


Shawn looked away absently, and nodded slowly.   


Bear paused dramatically. "Do you want to go?" he burst, throwing out his hands, obviously impatient with Shawn's mulling the possibilities over.   


Shawn slowly gave a slightly evillish lopsided smile, and nodded thoughtfully.   


"Well let's go already, man! COME ON!" Bear exploded, tearing to the door and looking back over his shoulder.  


Shawn looked thoughtful, and stood perfectly still, then quietly ahem-ed. He stared up at the ceiling serenely, and told it, "I have to put on my shoes."   


Bear and Legolas looked at each other, and then looked down Shawn's small frame to his small feet, which were clad in black shoes. Bear and Legolas looked at each other once more. Bear rolled his eyes and tapped his foot impatiently, hand on the door knob. About a full minute later, Shawn walked forward slowly. Bear bolted out the door, striding impatiently to the car. When Shawn got to the doorway, he solomnly bowed low with a certain degree of grace that comes with most small slender people, and swept his arms out to one side grandly, and Legolas went ahead, mystified. He had never seen a human act this way, not even a child. Surely this was a strange breed of man, being so small and so pleasantly insane. He walked towards the car with Shawn following him. Legolas looked back at him nervously and found that Shawn had stopped to sit on the pathway. He was currently cuddling a cat, and purring with it. Legolas shuddered but found himself laughing.   


"Get in the damn car!" Bear yelled up at the sky with a great deal of impatience, pounding the roof of his car to emphasize each syllable.   


Shawn threw the cat aside, and it yowled. He then walked slowly to the car and yanked open the car door and dove calmly (if this can be imagined) head first into the back seat. Bear laughed, and went around and tucked Shawn's small feet into the car, then shut the door. When they were all in the car, Bear started it and screeched out of the path and onto the road. As the tires squealed, Shawn hollered out the open window, "_Spring break!_" Bear laughed.  


"Big ass turkey legs!" Bear shouted. Shawn licked his lips, and Bear laughed. They then drove off, en route to the Renaissance Festival.   


* * *

a/n: i want to pull an 'atlantis forester' here and ask anyone who actually reads this to **vote for your favourite character (BESIDES LEGOLAS, PLEASE THANK YOU.).** please do this. i would like to know. my favourite part of writing is character revelation. i'd like to know how well i'm doing. of course, **DO NOT VOTE FOR LEGOLAS. OF COURSE YOU LOVE HIM, WE ALL DO BUT HE'S _JUST NOT MINE_. just vote for my people, dammit. thank you very much.** hugs and kisses, sarah.  



	10. Ren Fest with Shawn

a/n: class, mistakes, you know the drill. you know, you just gotta realize how boring this school is. but next week i will escape into the local college twice a week, and i will only come _here_ twice a week, and i will have one day off, monday. so every week, i have given myself a three day weekend. lord, i am a genius. (but i am nothing to tolkein's genius.) of course. oh yeah.... and i don't own the ramones. (thank god). and i don't own shawn. my friend does. shawn is exactly like this, i swear. most of this stuff i have seen him do and say. anyways, oh yeah, **VOTE FOR YOUR FAVOURITE CHARACTER BESIDES LEGOLAS.** kisses, sarah.  


* * *

When they pulled up and parked, Legolas got out and glanced over the sea of cars, and 'trucks.' He shut the car door and breathed in deeply. He heard a knock on the window from inside the car. Shawn was knocking rapidly on the window in alarm. Legolas opened the car door hurridly, and Shawn tumbled out onto Legolas' feet. Bear jumped out of the car and slammed the door. "Oh, would you get him off the frickin ground?" he moaned.  


Legolas helped Shawn off the ground, and once on his feet, Shawn hung pathetically on Legolas. Bear laughed. "He wants you to pick him up."   


Legolas pushed Shawn away, closed his door, and walked after Bear. Shawn gave a small smile and ran and jumped on Bear's back. Bear heaved him up and laughed loudly. When Legolas caught up to them, Shawn smiled smugly at him and clung to Bear's neck. When they were near the grass, Shawn slithered down Bear's back and walked beside him as though nothing had taken place.   


Shawn had been here just last week, but Bear didn't know that. Shawn walked up to one of the actors that wandered around, a scantily clad girl with faerie wings. Shawn put his arm around her waist and smiled at her. "Saaaay, girl!"   


Bear looked at Legolas and shrugged. "You can't take him anywhere," Bear said, and reminded himself of his mother. They walked over to the faerie and Shawn.   


"Hello, there, traveller!" she chirped to Shawn. "My name is May-Bloom, what praytell is yours?"  


"Baby, my name's Douglas," Shawn whined fantastically and she smiled.   


Legolas looked questioningly at Bear. Bear rolled his eyes, and leaned over to Legolas. "Douglas was the name of his manager at Circuit City. I'm telling you, this boy is obsessed! He needs to get laid but not using the fuckin name Douglas!" Legolas looked at him blankly.   


"Would Lord Douglas care to join me for a midday meal?" Shawn nuzzled into her shoulder, and mewed like a cat. "And who are miLord's friends?" she asked, noticing the other two. Her eyes lighted first on Legolas, and then on Bear. And it was there her eyes stayed.  


Legolas disregarded this and stepped foward to bow but before he even put forth his other foot, Bear had stuck his hand out and was shaking her hand. "My name's Bear," he said cordially, grinning in mock shyness. She broke free from Shawn and stood directly in front of Bear.   


"I'm Sandy," she giggled. Legolas looked down at her bare feet and saw that she was drawing a little circle in the dirt with her toe. Suddenly Shawn collided against him, forcing him to take a few steps backward. Shawn turned him and they walked.  


"We go this way," Shawn mumbled.   


"What? Why?" Legolas asked.   


"They want to make the babies come," Shawn mumbled, a quick smile flashing across his face. "We go this way," he stated again. So they walked on and Shawn would whistle any woman whose legs showed, and any time he saw a man whose legs showed, he would croon, "Saaaaay, girl!" Legolas found that he liked his companion for his wit, though he was never sure what would escape from his small mouth next.   


Legolas discovered that it was comfortable to jam his hands into the pockets of the 'jeans' and allow his posture to fail. He did this alternately on and off, for the pros and cons. It felt comfortable, but it made him feel useless. He finally decided that he _was_ useless, and jammed his hands deep in the pockets, and walked next to Shawn awkwardly, as Shawn _was_ a full 8 inches shorter than him.   


Suddenly, everything looked familiar. This was the gazeebo near Everlease's booth. Legolas wanted to run, but he had to stay with Shawn. Someone had to protect that boy, otherwise he could get himself killed. But Shawn was headed right for her booth. Legolas stopped. Shawn stopped. He wandered back to Legolas and whispered, "Be right back." Legolas nodded, and went to sit near the gazeebo so he could keep an eye on Shawn. His keen ears picked up their voices on the wind.  


Shawn sluffed his way over to the booth. Everlease had her back turned, so he pushed aside a lot of the knick knacks and trinkets, and climbed atop the table, and then over, where he collapsed. Everlease then turned around. "Evil Johnny!" she exclaimed, and pulled the small figure up. Legolas crained his neck to see around a especially large woman. The two small persons hugged. Everlease asked him how he was doing and Shawn replied so softly (after his usual manner) that Legolas could not decipher his exact words. Whatever it was, Everlease said, "Ohhhh, I'm sorry. Why'd you quit?" Legolas rolled his eyes. This Circuit City must be a fabulously wonderful place to live.   


For whatever reason, Legolas glanced over his shoulder and into the trees. His glance turned to a gaze, and a gaze to a stare. There seemed to be a portal of wreathed in flame in the nearby woods, somewhere in a clearing. The more Legolas stared, he realized that it was the clearing where he had first awakened in this fell world. He started, drawn to it, and was about to stand up, when something sat down in his lap. He realized that it was Shawn. Shawn with a little smile on his face, big brown eyes looking at Legolas'. "I'm through," he sang. He then stood up and looked around, as though there was some calling for him.  


Legolas thought a question: "Why did she call you Evil Johnny?" Legolas didn't stop to think that this would show that he had been listening to them speaking.   


"That's m'name," Shawn said matter of factly, as though it were the simplest thing in the world.  


Legolas sighed. _Everlease or Mary? Beren or Bear? May-Bloom or Sandy? Shawn or Evil Johnny? Does everyone in this world have dual names?_ Legolas thought, exasperated. He noticed Shawn looking at him in a concerned way, with enormous brown eyes. He almost seemed to read Legolas' mind.   


"You can be Douglas," he offered, squinting up at Legolas. They were quiet.   


"No," he told Shawn's small upturned face. Shawn pouted.   


"Come on," he mumbled, and grabbed Legolas' arm, "we go this way." Legolas followed reluctantly.   


* * *

a/n: there you go, a whole nother chapter. they're fun to write though. sorry if they're short. but please remember to **vote for your favourite non-legolas character!!!!!!** love and kisses, sarah.  



	11. Faeries and Leaving

a/n: can you believe it? i'm not in class! i'm actually at home. woo hoo. well anyways, i probably will get more distracted. somehow i manage to focus pretty well on this in class and still look interested in what's going on. well i'll try. kisses and hugs, sarah. oh yeah and **vote for your favourite character besides legolas! i'm going to tell shawn that he's losing to a fictatious character (bear!) he will cry!** but i am making shawn a little different now, cos i can't like rip him off entirely. (but he acts like this too.) i don't know, i am just taking the situation into my own hands, cos he needs to have certain traits and a certain life... _YOU DON'T OWN ME SHAWN!!!!!_ ?? i don't know. read on.  


* * *

The day wore on, and they managed to eat an ass turkey leg. Shawn just called them meat sticks. Legolas lamented this portion of the dialect, that everything had to have two names. But he figured he could handle it.   


Once they had eaten, they wandered around a little more and then Shawn just wandered out onto the grass a little ways and plopped down. "Shawn?" Legolas called.   


"Come on ova, Douglas!" Shawn replied in the same crooning voice. Legolas found his way over to where the small human was lying in the grass, and sat a few feet away from him. "No, really, I can't raise my voice that much, come here," Shawn said. Legolas looked at him in amazement. He had actually used a normal voice! So Legolas scooted a little closer. "Yeah I guess so Douglas," Shawn said lowly.   


"What kind of a person are you?" Legolas found himself asking.  


Shawn gave a small smile, but his eyes stayed expressionless. "Little Mexican, little Irish." He looked over at Legolas. "How 'bout you, Elf boy?"  


Legolas was surprised. He felt awkward. He almost never felt at a complete loss for words. _What is the meaning of Mexican and Irish?_ he wondered. He realized Shawn was laughing.   


"You don't have to say, Douglas. I know it," Shawn said, in the normal voice again. Legolas looked at him oddly. Could he really know what he was thinking? Shawn stared at the sky. "When I was ten years old, I brought my friend Michael home so we could watch Transformers at my house." Shawn squinted away from the sunlight and glanced over towards the trees. "My stepdad came home, and beat on my door. I opened it up and he asked me if I done my homework. I told him I didn't have any." Shawn disinterestedly crossed his legs, nonchalantly running a small finger over the ironed creases. "He called me a liar." Shawn looked directly at Legolas. His eyes were focused, and not large. They were normal. They were confidential. Legolas nodded, though the words were foreign to him. Shawn awknowledged the nod and went on. "He grabbed my ears and shook me." Shawn looked hard at Legolas. "Shook me, he boxed my ears and threw me into a wall. Michael started crying and--" Shawn paused.   


After a moment, Shawn stood up and streched. Legolas stared after him, then stood up also. "Are you well, mellind?" Legolas asked, slipping into his own tongue out of nervousness.   


Shawn smiled and nodded. "Course, Douglas." He began walking away towards the crowd. Legolas followed him. He was amazed at this man's versitality. He was nothing like the way he was before, and then he was exactly the same. Legolas shook his head briefly and followed his amusing friend.   


They walked into the midst of the human ocean, Legolas following the small figure of Shawn. At last, Shawn stopped, and Legolas realized that they were standing before Bear and Sandy sitting at a small stone table. Legolas started in horror as he noticed Sandy's wings now rested on Bear's back, then realized that they were a false set of wings, made of some sort of cloth. He supposed they were a sort of decoration. Sandy still had her small brown leather skirt on, but over her scanty leather top she now wore a shirt bearing the title, "The Clash." Legolas took this for a commemoration for a war or struggle of the past, and in his mind, she earned a certain degree of respect. Legolas found that he was fascinated by the tunics, or 't-shirts' as they were called, of this population. (He had figured out in his own head that the 't' probably _stood_ for tunic.) When someone felt strongly about something, they wore it on a t-shirt. He looked down at his own shirt. 'The Ramones' it proclaimed in bold white lettering, on the black cloth. Legolas decided they must be a tribe or clan, and reminded himself to ask Bear about it later.   


Sandy had her lithe legs crossed and Legolas averted his eyes. He found it quite unnecessary for so much of her body to be showing, but thought it just must be customary of her people. She sat giggling, with her eyes squinted in laughter, her small nose wrinkled, and her pearly teeth showing as she grinned. Bear seemed to be in the midst of a story, which he was dramatically telling with much angst and emotion, frequently waving his scrawny arms around to make his point. Legolas found himself smiling at Bear's antics. They finally looked up to see Shawn and Legolas, Shawn sat down by Bear, and pulled Legolas down next to him. Sandy smiled. "Hi Shawn, hi," she paused. "What's your name again?" she said apologetically.   


Before Legolas could open his mouth, Shawn spat out, "Douglas." Legolas glanced at him, and then at Bear, who was laughing already.   


Sandy smiled. "OK, Douglas. Can I can you Doug?" she asked.   


"I see nothing preventing that," Legolas said dryly, but smiling.   


"OK, then it's Doug, Shawn, and-" she giggled, "-Bear." She and Bear smiled at each other.   


"Anyways," Bear started. "I was going to have some people over tonight, soooo..." He looked around comically. "Do you wanna come?"  


Sandy looked thrilled. "Sure! Do you live over here, or in Klein, or what?"   


"You live in Klein, right?" Bear asked. Sandy nodded. "Well, Spring's just around the corner from there. Like 10 minutes out from Circuit City." Bear winced, and looked at Shawn, who slid off the bench and fell into a little puddle on the ground. "Oh, good God," Bear muttered.   


Sandy gasped in concern, stood up, and looked over the table where Shawn lay on the ground in a little ball. "Is he OK?" she cried.   


Bear seemed preoccupied with giving Shawn little kicks with his large black boots, so Legolas decided to take matters into his own hands, using Bear's earlier words. "He used to live at Circuit City or...some thing like this. Then he...quit, because...they weren't giving him enough...hours." Legolas picked his way through this explanation, something that made no sense to him at all. But it seemed to make sense to Sandy.  


"Oooohhh," she said. But she wrinkled her nose and looked at Legolas. "Dude, it looks like he's having a heart attack or a seizure or something!"   


Legolas nodded, not sure what she was talking about. _What's a heart attack?_ he wondered. _Or a seizure, for that matter?_ He wondered if he would ever be able to listen to someone speak without not knowing what some of their words meant. But Sandy was right about one thing, Shawn had the air of someone having something. Some sort of a fit. Eventually he responded to the 'nudges' of Bear's boots and stood up. He looked aroung as if nothing had happened. He began to wonder off, but Bear ran and caught him, and carried him back. He then stood him up on the bench so he could look around.   


Bear then spoke to Legolas. "OK, dude, I'm going to ride with Sandy over to my place, and um," he looked up at Shawn, and back at Legolas. "Man, I don't know if I ever want him to drive my car again, after that _one_ time." Legolas and Bear raised their eyebrows at each other. Legolas could only imagine. "Do you have your license on you man?"   


Legolas paused. "No," he said. After thinking a second longer, he decided to impound this statement with the further truth of, "I don't have a 'license.'"   


"Shit it. I"ll just let him drive." Bear thrust a key ring into Shawn's stomach, causing Shawn to double over in mock pain. But he took the keys nonetheless. Bear grabbed Shawn up, and set him on the ground. He had to bend over a little to look Shawn in the eye. "Shawn, look at my eyes. Are you listening to me?" Shawn looked away and nodded into the sea of people. "OK, then listen: me and Sandy are gonna drive to my house and you and Legolas are going to go over and pick up Jane and Marie. Oh, and make sure you call Satan and Rita and make sure their coming." Shawn nodded slowly.   


Sandy's eyes widened. "Who's Satan?" she sounded out, smiling in some sort of awe. Legolas wondered why she focused in on this one particular name. He was almost sure that she was not, as was he not, familiar with any of the four previously mentioned peoples. But nonetheless, Bear answered her awestruck question with laughter.  


"I'll tell you in the car," he laughed. "Come on, let's go." Bear left Legolas and Shawn and wandered off with Sandy.   


Legolas stared blankly after them, until Shawn tugged at his sleeve, and jangled a ring of keys into Legolas' face. Shawn walked slowly on and on till they reached the car, Legolas quiet beside him.   


* * *

a/n: i know this chapter is short and crappy but i don't know. i have been really busy. at one of my schools, i got dropped out of one of my classes for turning my stuff in late and i haven't told my parents yet. they're gonna freak!!! but oh well. the story must go on....it's like the only constant in my life.   



	12. Jane and Marie

a/n: i just decided to dedicate the rest of the story to, jointly, "wednesday" and tolkien. oh and to answer a couple of the reviews, i KNOW everyone's disappointed that i cut legolas' hair, but really. come on. there's still a lot left to be wowed by. WOW. and also, if you would like to know where i got the idea for his new haircut, cut and paste these babies into your browser:  


http://www.angelfire.com/celeb2/orlandobloom/images/candid/ball3.jpg  


http://www.angelfire.com/celeb2/orlandobloom/images/candid/cannes1.jpg  


(sometimes the site is down cos of excessive viewing ::wink::) yeah that second one is probably what he'll end up with cos DAMN that shivers me timbers! SHEEZ! like a male sinead o'connor, which makes him hot. ^o~ wink wink. this is what **i** want in life. anyways, yeah, so that's the hair thing. and also about everlease's little out burst, it actually wasn't that long. when i start yelling about crap i go beserk. this is a trait that everlease and i would share. except i'm even more long winded. trust me i edit this stuff forever before it comes up here. it probably was even longer. i just don't remember. but i do appreciate the constructive criticism and ask for you to keep it up because i do take your suggestions and thoughts on my story into deep consideration. thank you very much! **KEEP VOTING FOR YOUR FAVOURITE NON LEGOLAS CHARACTER!!** thanks.  


* * *

Legolas and Shawn sat quietly in traffic on the way to Jane and Marie's abode. Legolas kept trying to think of what Everlease had called the music in her car. Or rather, what made the music. He knew it ended in an e-o sound. But that was days ago. And there was no music in this car. Shawn hummed to himself, and Legolas thought perhaps he was wondering the same thing--why was there no music in this car?   


Almost answering Legolas' thought, Shawn suddenly mumbled, "Bear really ought to get a CD player in here."   


"What, is that the music?" Legolas asked, with out self conscious.   


"Yep, Douglas, sure is." Shawn stared through the dirty glass in front of him. "But I can sing a Bjork song for you if you want," he offered, smiling up at Legolas.   


Legolas caught the word 'orc' and shook his head. He didn't know what a bjork was but he was pretty sure he didn't want to hear one of it's songs. He thought for a moment, racking his brain for another Everlease term. "What about...Dashboard?" he tried.  


"Confessional?" Shawn finished.   


"Yes, that is was it was!" Legolas exclaimed, suprised and happy to have gotten it right.   


Shawn smiled into the leopard steering wheel cover. "Saaay, girl!" he whined. "You turnin emo on me? You look like a punk!"   


Legolas stared blankly at him.   


Shawn stared at him briefly with a humourously concerned look on his small face, then back at the road to manage the wheel around and around to the right, forcing the car to move with it. Turning in these cars still made Legolas nervous. If everything depended on that one little wheel that Shawn was fooling with now, he knew right then and there that he could never 'drive' one of these cars.   


The car turned again and they were in a small village of cottages, much like the village where Shawn lived. Legolas glanced around, trying to see through all the filmy windows. "This is their neighbourhood," Shawn murmured. Legolas noted the word: neighbourhood, not village, neighbourhood. Must get it right. "I live in the next one over." So they were similiar. Legolas found that he was starting to wear on his own nerves, trying to learn everything without any help from anyone.   


They pulled up in the path of a cottage not unlike that of Shawn. "They're renting this house, but renting to buy or something like that." Shawn rolled his eyes, and murmured an inaudible word, which was difficult to do, with Legolas' keen ears. He also made a note that he used the word house, not cottage.   


They walked up to the door and Shawn pressed a small button. This triggered some bell like device somewhere in the house. Presently the door was pulled open by a girl about Shawn's size. Her face was round and flat; her green eyes were narrow, and judgemental and slanted. Her mouth was small and pursed, and had a small ring it, as did her small round nose. Her hair was quite short and toned red and gold. Legolas especially marvelled at this. He had never seen hair grow two toned less it be for turning grey or white. He found it quite beautiful. Her expression was one of carelessness and dislike, and her clothes were fitted. She, like Bear, had small tattoos covering many regions of her skin.   


Meanwhile, her stony mouth had pursed into a tight smile, and she held out her arms and embraced Shawn. Legolas smiled at these two small people's embrace. He found peace and beauty in them at that moment, and figured they might be akin to one another.   


"Evil!!" she exclaimed and dragged him into the house, pushing the door shut. Legolas might have been left on the porch if not for the small hand of Shawn reaching back to grab Legolas in, too. When Legolas had safely been dragged into the front hall, she noticed him.   


"Mm, hi!" she smiled briskly and held out her hand. "I'm Jane, who are you?"   


Legolas could feel her cold approach ringing from her pores. He carefully slipped his hand into hers and gave it a little shake as he had seen Bear do with Sandy. "My name is--"  


"Douglas," Shawn finished. Jane jerked her hand away, then grimaced and rolled her eyes.   


"Oh, you are such a loser. You finally found somebody else named Douglas and now you drag him around everywhere just so you can say that. That's so stupid." Jane marched off, running her fingers through her hair.   


Legolas stared after her in disbelief, and in this he was not alone. Another girl walked past her and watched her huff away with a look of pure amusement and slight annoyance. "Don't mind her, she's such a bitch," the girl said laughingly as she approached. Shawn smiled, and even at this strange term Legolas found himself smiling. Bitch. The sound of it seemed to suit her perfectly.   


"I heard that Marie! _You're the bitch!_" called Jane almost jokingly from somewhere in the house.   


Marie rolled her eyes. "Hi, _Douglas,_" she drawled, smiling at Shawn, then glancing back at Legolas again. "I'm Marie, and I promise, I'm not a bitch. At least, not like that. Hey you like the Ramones? That's bad ass. I do, too!" she squealed, giving him a look of interest. Her hair was a light blonde, not unlike his own, but she had a haircut similiar to Jane's. Her eyes were large and blue and understanding, and her mouth was warm and smiling, showing perfectly white teeth. She was taller than Shawn, but shorter than himself. Marie was not deathly thin, though, as Everlease had been. Marie had a shape to her, but just enough to make her look warm and friendly. He noticed her shirt, like Sandy's, said "The Clash." Legolas decided that he was going to have to ask somebody about this "Clash."  


Legolas nearly blushed at her question. He didn't know whether or not to tell her that he had no idea who or what the Ramones were. He finally decided on the truth. "In all honesty, this belongs to Bear," he said, indicating the shirt.   


"Figures," she laughed, more at Shawn than Legolas. "Hey, um, are we still going over to Bear's tonight?" Shawn nodded, examining his short fingernails. "Well then we better get going." She walked towards the door, but Shawn threw up his little arm as a block.   


"Not so fast, Douglas!" he crooned. Marie looked taken aback. "Bear picked up some Ren Fest faerie and took her home so I'm tryin to go real slow here," he explained. Marie smiled and raised her eyebrows. "You see?" Shawn smiled.   


"Yeah, yeah, I see. We don't need to go see him making nana with a faerie," Marie embellished with comically wide eyes and a big grin. She laughed loudly and Shawn snickered, and Legolas laughed too, because it sounded like it should be laughed at. The whole sentence just sounded odd.   


At this point, Jane chose to walk up with a small bag and a small smile. "Wait wait wait, who's doing a faerie? Are you guys making fun of Tristan again?"  


"Naw, Bear found a little peice of faerie tail at the Ren Fest. Woah--" she stopped.  


_"Fairy tale!"_ they screamed simultaenously, and whooped with laughter at their own hilarity, holding onto each other for support as they weakened into little fits of giggling. Legolas laughed at the pun, though he didn't quite understand why it was this funny. He looked over at Shawn, and was suprised to see Shawn's lips clamped together and his shoulders shaking in laughter. Legolas had not yet seen Shawn actually laugh at something.   


At any rate, they walked out to the car, Jane shoving past Legolas and Marie to get in the front seat of the car with Shawn. Marie rolled her eyes and walked around the car shaking her head and smiling at Legolas. They got in the back and shut the doors.   


Suddenly Shawn exploded from the vehicle and ran to the front door of the house and began to beat on it. "Oh good Lord," Jane muttered, clearly exasperated. "What the hell do you need in there!" she screamed as she pulled the tiny beating Shawn away from her door.   


"I gotta call Satan and Rita," Shawn explained, gasping in alarm.   


"Well why the fuck didn't you do that a minute ago you idiot?" she cried, and unlocked the door. He raced in and away. Jane marched back to the car with her hands on her hips, got in, and slammed the door, red faced.  


"What, did he have to piss or something?" Marie asked.   


"OK, no! Shit head decides he just _has_ to call Phil right this moment. He's all beatin the fuckin door down, little asshole." Jane crossed her arms.   


Legolas thought for a moment, then said weakly, "I thought he said he had to call Satan and Rita."  


"UGGGHHH," Jane moaned. "How retarded are you? Phil **IS** Satan, dumb ass." She waited a second, then turned around and stared at him, her thin eyebrows furrowed. She turned back and settled back into her seat. "I can't believe you're friends with Shawn. What, did you like just meet him today, or something?"  


Legolas opened his mouth to answer but nothing came to mind to say, so he shut his mouth. At that moment he realized Marie had leaned forward to Jane. "Look, you don't have to be such a bitch to him. Why don't you lay off the cocaine and try to be nice to people? You're turning out to be such a bitch. Maybe Gusto was right about you." Marie sat back, smiled, then winked at Legolas.   


Jane turned around, and her face was full of fury. "OK, look. That is sooo crossing the line. If you bring up Gusto again I swear to God I will punch you right in your fucking face." She turned around again, and then Shawn got in the car.   


"Hey, Gusto's gonna come tonight," Shawn announced, and started the car.   


Legolas winced as Jane screamed and clawed at Shawn. Shawn seemed quite undaunted.   


Marie only laughed. "Stupid bitch," she muttered.   


"I CAN HEAR YOU!" Jane roared.   


Marie scrunched up her face and stuck out her tongue, and Jane did something akin to that. Legolas stared from face to face and was smiling in amazement. This race of people was so foreign to him that he could hardly fit all their habits together. _Maybe one day I'll understand all this,_ he thought positively. Something flew by his head, and Marie screamed. _Or maybe not._  


* * *

a/n: ugh it is late and i am so tired. and hungry! but i don't eat after dark, so i can't eat anything. crud i'm such a weirdo. ok i just basically added in my friend to this story and her friend that i don't like. you might be able to tell who is who. sooooooo yeah. ok i think i'm delirious. hey, and um **VOTE FOR YOUR FAVOURITE NON LEGOLAS CHARACTER, WOOOOOO!**  



	13. Bear's apartment

a/n: i am in class and i hate it.  


oh and thanks everyone for the support. la la la la LA! **VOTE FOR YOUR FAVOURITE NON LEGOLAS CHARACTER!**  


* * *

The ride to Bear's appartment was nearly torturous. Marie finally just gave up and talked quietly to Legolas, while Jane persisted in her "bitching" from the front of the car. Shawn drove quietly. Legolas was now far from believing that Jane and Shawn were akin. Soon they came to the complex, and Shawn parked next to a empty spot. As soon as Jane began to open her door, a strange car pulled up in a puff of smoke and dust. "Fuckin son of a-" Jane began.  


Her door was pushed shut and when the dust cleared away, a face could be seen smiling in her window. "SATAN!" she growled. She pushed the door open once more but with much force this time. It shoved Satan back onto his car and he laughed, heading towards the apartment. "Ugghhh!" Jane moaned.   


Legolas got out and watched Satan and a girl he assumed must be Rita knock on the door. He then looked at their car. He ran a hand over the top of it, velvety smooth and sparkling black. _If there were such thing as a princely car, this would be it,_ he thought interestedly. The hind of the car rose slightly and the back wheels where thicker. Legolas thought it was lovely. He looked up and was suprised to see Jane also petting the car affectionately.   


She smiled and so did her squinty little eyes did too. "Used to be mine," she lamented, stroking the roof.   


Legolas was taken aback that she was actually speaking to him. Surely the smaller a person was the more tempermental they were. "Oh did it?" he asked, keeping his voice as polite as possible.   


She raised her tiny eyebrows and nodded proudly. "Oh yes, it did." She ran a finger down the metal around the window. "Sixty-seven Camero." She gave it a quick, sharp pat and then began to walk away, still talking to Legolas. "Sold it to Phil though since I needed the monthly income. He gives me a hundred a month." She shook her head. "Sooo depressing though, cos it's sooo lovely." She turned to Legolas as they reached the door. "Don't you think so?"  


"Yes, I do, Jane," he said, simply and honestly. She nodded happily, and let herself in the apartment.   


As they walked in, Marie got up to walk into the small kitchen and Jane jumped onto where Marie had been sitting. "Wooo, I got the couch!" she yelled. Marie yelped and ran back in alarm.  


"You little ho," Marie cried. She moped back into the kitchen with Shawn.   


Jane scooted over on the 'couch' and patted the seat. "Come 'ere, Dougas!" she called.  


Phil and Rita, on the 'couch' to their left, laughed. "OK, Shawn," Phil said. He and Rita laughed and Legolas laughed too. He sat down and took in Phil and Rita.   


Phil, or Satan, had looked strong and healthy, the first human Legolas had seen that looked so. He was tall, maybe 6 feet, and had sparkling green eyes and a small beard. Legolas was almost reminded of a man of Gondor when he looked upon Phil. The thought of something of Middle-Earth struck Legolas like a blow from a sword. He had not thought of it for days. Legolas shook his head. Phil bore a tunic shirt that proclaimed, "So I killed a gopher with a stick, big deal." Legolas knoted his brow. _What?_ he thought. He turned to look at Rita. She had a light brown skin, and longish curly black hair, piled on top of her head by combs. Her face was not beautiful but childish and cute, and on her nose she wore a pair of narrow black framed "glasses." (He had learned about those at the Ren Fest yesterday.) She did not wear a t-shirt but rather a shirt Legolas more approved of, billowy sleeves and frilly, fitted torso. But her skirts were made of the same 'jeans' material that he wore. He realized she was standing up.  


"Hey guys look at my new tattoo," she said excitedly. She stood up and rotated where they could see her left side, where there was a large slit in her skirt. Legolas know his eyes grew large. Up her slim leg on the outer side there were eight eyes, tattooed there, staring in suprise and alarm. The irises were many coloured, red, blue, black, orange, purple, pink, green, and the last yellow. There was the smallest one near her ankle, the size of a coin, then they increased in size from there. By the time his eyes travelled up to the eye she was pointing to at the top of her hip, it was perhaps the size of the palm of his hand not including his fingers.   


"Is that gonna be your last one?" Jane asked.   


Rita shrugged, examining the new yellow eye. "Red said he doesn't know where I'd put another one if I wanted to stay with the pattern."   


Legolas felt that he needed to say something. "It looks lovely," he commented.   


Rita seemed to notice him for the first time. She smiled and said, "Yeah, Red calls me 'The Great Eye Wonder.'" She held out her hand. "I'm Rita by the way," she said as she shook Legolas' hand then sat down by Phil again, "and this is my husband Phil." Phil smiled and lit a 'cigarette.' "I guess you're Douglas," she said. Legolas just smiled. "I'm sure Shawn loves that." Phil smiled.   


Sandy walked in then. Legolas noticed that she had changed into jeans. She sat in a chair across from Phil and Rita and waved at them and Jane, "Hi, my name's Sandy."   


Phil and Rita smiled. "I'm Rita, this is Phil," Rita said.   


"Are you the faerie?" Jane asked bluntly, her eyes narrowing in judgement.   


"Excuse me?" Sandy said. She set her jaw.   


"Are you the faerie that Bear picked up at Ren Fest?" Jane asked coldly. Legolas felt the air grow thick with the tension between them.  


Sandy stared at her hard. "Yeah, I work at the Rennaissance Festival." She tucked her hair behind her ears and took a deep breath. Legolas then saw the anger go out of her, and marvelled at her patience with the crudeness of Jane. "Where do you work?"  


Jane stared at her in disbelief and shook her head. She stood up and left the room. Sandy looked at Legolas, and he recognized her feelings. He knew that he had felt the same way when he met Jane. So he used the same words of comfort that Marie had used. "Don't mind her, she's a such a bitch," he quoted verbatum.   


Rita fell onto Phil in a fit of giggles. Phil laughed in surprise and Sandy laughed too. "You must know Jane pretty well, huh?" Phil commented.  


"Honestly, I met her only moments before this," Legolas told them truthfully.  


Phil and Rita turned to each other and laughed hard. "So it really is easy to get to know Jane!" Rita exclaimed. Legolas sneaked a look at Sandy and saw she looked relieved. "Hey, Douglas," Rita said suddenly, and Legolas turned quickly back to her. "Are you from England or what?" Legolas, confused, shook his head. "Well you're pullin the accent off pretty good then," she said, looking surprised. He shrugged. But just then Bear ran and jumped on the couch next to Legolas, breaking the uneasy air.  


"Waaaaahoooo!" he yelled. "Hey, where did Jane go?" he asked looking around.   


"Hey Bear, Douglas thinks Jane's a bitch," Phil commented comically. Bear laughed.  


"Who doesn't?" he laughed. "Hey Jane! Ja-ane!" he bellowed, and Rita covered up her ears.   


"Stop yelling, for the love of God!" she pleaded. Bear grinned mischievously, but yelled no longer. Jane came marching into the room and sat directly on Bear's lap. Suddenly she was all smiles, and hugs and kisses. Bear tumped her off by standing up.   


"Get offa me, ho!" he chided her. Sandy snickered. Bear grinned at her. "Hey Sandy, you want to come help me with the food?" he said coyly.   


"No, I'm fine," she said confidently, but her eyes followed him into the kitchen.   


Jane skulked over to the couch once more and sat down next to Legolas. She held onto his arm and lay her head down on his shoulder. "Dougie still loves me, doesn't he?" she cooed.   


Legolas gazed down at this mortal woman clinging to his arm. Her small flat upturned face was full of seemingly genuine adoration, all of which he knew was false. "Filth," he hissed. "Unhand me, wench!" he spat, and wrestled out of her grip. Jane looked shocked.   


"Fuckin Dungeons and Dragons, man, you aughta play with us sometime!" Phil cried. He looked at Rita. "Wouldn't he be bad ass to play D&D with?" Rita nodded eagerly. She looked over at Jane, still coiled away on the couch staring, shocked, at Legolas.   


"Really Jane, back off. Stop being such a ho," Rita giggled. Jane's eyes nearly popped.   


"Oh _fuck_ this!" she said matter of factly, and walked out the front door. Legolas stared after her nonchalantly.   


"Where is she off to?" he wondered out loud.   


"Oh nowhere too far. She does this about every time we see her," Rita assured him. Sandy and Legolas looked at each other, both of their eyebrows raised, as if to say, 'You don't say...'  


"I don't even know why we hang out with that freak," Phil muttered, then leaned forward to extinguish his cigarette in one of the glass containers on the low table before him. Legolas watched it smoke for a second and then die out. He opened his mouth, and then shut it again, eyes still on the cigarette end.  


"How do you guys know her?" Sandy asked, unable to contain her curiosity.   


"Oh," Rita started, rolling her eyes. "Well, she went to school with Marie, and they hung out for years, and, oh hell I don't know. Now they," she waved her hand towards the door and the kitchen, "her and Marie, they live together, and now we'll never get rid of Jane." Rita turned her eyes to the ceiling and shook her head. "I guess it doesn't matter." Sandy shrugged.  


"Who's Marie?" Sandy asked.   


"You'll see her around," Rita assured her.  


"I think she is in there with Bear and Shawn," Legolas offered. Phil nodded. Sandy 'mmhm-ed' and went about playing with a little vial of fluid that was used to light cigarettes. She waved her thumb over it several times, forcing the flame to arise and preform a brief flickering dance before she would lift her thumb and the flame would hide. Legolas reached out to her.  


"May I see that?" he asked.   


"Sure," she smiled, and tossed him the vial. Legolas turned it over and over in his hands and then turned to the two small wheels at the top. He waved his thumb over it but to no avail. He tried turning the wheels slowly. Nothing. He then tried running his thumb over the wheels quickly and got a small spark. He tried this again and this time his thumb slipped and pressed a little button beneath the dual wheels. _Aha!_ he thought as the flame danced. He let go of the button, lifting his thumb, like Sandy, and the flame would disappear. Legolas smiled. _What a novelty! For such animal like idiots, these human like creatures have invented a number of new and intriguing creations!_ he thought eagerly, summoning the flame and watching it dance. He looked up to see Sandy smiling. She waved another lighter at him.   


"You can have that one, I like this one better," she told him, lighting up a cigarette. She moved the cigarette from her lips and blew away the smoke. "You want a cig?" she asked, reaching for her pocket.   


"No thanks," Legolas waved away the offer, but actually, he wished he hadn't. _But Elves do not fool with weed,_ he told himself. _That is the game of Dwarves and Halflings._ But he still felt a pang of regret. Sandy smiled and shrugged, and settled back into her seat.   


Legolas looked around him. Kingly Phil, arm around his wife, his fair countenance countered by his slumping posture and lazy smile. Childish Rita, giggling at Phil, left hand massaging her new 'eye.' Calm Sandy, smoking her cigarette, blowing the smoke in a long uninterupted stream from between her lips. In the kitchen he knew there was Bear, tall and awkward, Shawn, small and strange, and Marie, understanding and bold. Outside he knew there was Jane, small and angry and fake. And not far from here, he knew about Everlease, and Ryan, and Carter. _Everlease._  


Legolas looked down at his hands, and the lighter he held. _Who are these people? Where am I?_  


* * *

a/n: i don't know what i'm doing, i don't know at all. i added in my friend Satan/Phil (and we call him both too) but i made up rita. but no matter what, **KEEP VOTING FOR YOUR FAVOURITE NON LEGOLAS CHARACTER!** weeeeeee! i started at 9 AM and finished at 1:55 PM! that was great. (i had an hour lunch.) yay! kisses! love, sarah.  



	14. Beer Run

a/n: i know i just can't write long enough chapters to appease you hooligans so to make up for it, you will watch this video and laugh and laugh and laugh...and do the nipple dance.  


http://formenmedia.ign.com/media/news/image/hardcore/tunak_video.ram  


go there and laugh your ass off. you'll thank me in the end. it's daler mehndi. hahahhahhaa. well anyways, i have no idea what to do with this story, so if you would like to give me ideas, please do. if not, it's just going to wander on from day to day, going nowhere and just dragging more people into it. ohhhhhhh kay! here goes. i will try harder to make longer chapters! i sorry!!!! ok. kisses! sarah.  


* * *

Not long after this, there was a knock at the door. Phil stood up slowly, but Rita jumped up and danced away towards the door. "I'll get it!" she squealed. Phil turned around slowly and sat back down.  


"No problem!" he squealed, mocking her.   


She sneered back at him and then opened the door. "Gusto! Hi! How are you doing! Oh, hi Everlease!" Legolas' heart must have jumped a mile. He wheeled around and peered over the edge of the couch. Sure enough, there stood Everlease. She was dressed almost like Jane and Marie, in 'jeans,' but in a nicer shirt similar to Rita's. But as he looked, his heart beat faster. Her hair was swept up, revealing _human ears._ He gaped at her. _You knew something was wrong in the first place you dotard!_ he chided himself. _She even acted like being an elf was odd. I suppose Ryan is no elf either!_ His thoughts sped through his mind like a arrow flying through the air. He turned around and hoped that no one else could hear his heart, because he knew it was thumping in his own ears.  


Meanwhile Rita was laughing and shutting the door behind them. Gusto laughed and pointed outside, and said, "Hey, you guys know Jane's out there in the car pretending to cry, right? She flicked me and Everlease off."   


Everlease laughed. "What a retard. She can sit out there all night." Rita and Sandy laughed at this, and Phil snickered. Even Legolas smiled. He couldn't believe that she was here though. His smile faded as he clutched his shoulder. He knew she would recognize him. He just knew it.   


Rita led them over, holding their hands. "Ohhh-kay," she said, standing them in from on the couches. "Gusto, Everlease, this is Sandy." Gusto shook her hand and Everlease gave a little "oh! hallo, it's you!" wave, which Sandy returned. "And Douglas, this is Gusto and Everlease." Gusto reached out his hand and Legolas nervously shook it, then stole a glance at Everlease. Her hand had paused in mid wave, getting about to the "oh!" part, and freezing. Her mouth was slightly open.   


"I already know them," she finally said. Legolas marvelled at her as she seemed to flip a switch onto another personality. She beamed and waved the rest, "hallo, it's you!." Her acting skills indeed extended beyond acting as an Elf. Legolas decided that a mere lying Human's abilities should never exceed those of an Elf's, especially that of an Elf Prince. Legolas straightened up and smiled.   


"Good evening, Everlease," he poured out, beaming.   


Everlease blinked, but did not skip a beat. "I like your haircut," she commented, "_Douglas_," she emphasized. _So it's Douglas is it?_ she internally smirked. _Knew it._ Suddenly she wondered what she meant by that. _What, did you actually believe him?_ she chided herself. She gave her head a little shake. _You're nuts,_ she told herself. _Absolutely nuts._  


"Thank you, it was done by Shawn," he informed her in a chitchat-ing tone. If she could play dumb for everyone, so could he.   


Everlease shook her head and laughed. "He's so insane. Looks great," she laughed, and jerked her upturned thumb at him. Turning away, she jammed her hands in her jeans pockets and wandered into the kitchen to talk to Bear and Shawn.  


Gusto stayed behind and pointed to the spot on the couch next to Legolas. "Hey, buddy! You mind if I sit there?" Legolas shook his head. He had gotten over the fact that all these Men smelt horrible and looked disgusting. In fact, he had come to be fascinated. The filth seemed to be concentrated among this group especially. At the Rennaissance Festival, he had seen quite a few Men that did not reek of filth and weed. But these seemed to attract each other. But even Phil did not seem so dirty. Shawn had an odd smell, weak but clean, and that coincided with the smell of Jane. Legolas had almost convinced himself that they were not Human, or at least a strange breed. But Bear, he smelled, even if he was friendly, he smelled. As did Gusto, who had now sat now beside him.   


Gusto looked at the guy to his right. _What the fuck is up with his ears_? he thought. He decided that he must have gotten it surgically done, like that guy on _Ripley's Believe It or Not!_. He hooked his thumbs in his suspenders and propped his combat boot clad feet up on the coffee table in front of him. He wondered why Everlease had run away to go talk to Bear. _If she likes him I'm gonna be a little more than pissed._  


Sandy glanced over at Gusto and was quite impressed. She was surprised today to see a punk like Bear that wasn't a poser, but Gusto had Bear beat by a mile and a half. His hair, obviously cut for a high mohawk was lying to the side, undone, which to her was just as appealing as a spiked mohawk. He was in traditional Mick Jones dress, a.k.a., a disgusting white undershirt and suspenders with colourless pants that were too short and combat boots. She smiled. Gusto smiled back. _Hot little brat,_ he thought.  


Legolas sensed something between them and thought it time to walk around. He noticed Phil getting up too, and glanced at him. "Beer run," Phil said, digging a ring of keys out of his pocket. He patted Rita's head. "You wanna come with me, babe?" Rita pushed him away.  


"No, dammit, I better go mess with that creep outside. I'll see what she wants," Rita replied standing up, and walking to the door, then out.   


Phil looked at Gusto and Sandy who were talking away, and turned to Legolas. "Doug, you wanna come?"  


Legolas shrugged. "I suppose there is nothing more useful for me to do."   


Phil grinned. "Yeah, man, that's the spirit. Bear's place sucks!"   


"Oh, fuck you, go away!" Legolas heard Bear yell from in the kitchen. He then poked his head around the corner, "But could you make sure you get some more Miller Light?" Phil thrust his hand out with solely his middle finger standing and Bear laughed. "Like if you flick me off you won't." Legolas made a mental note that this was "flicking off" and it was probably a rude gesture. Phil laughed and motioned for Legolas to follow him out the door.   


When they had left the apartment and were walking towards the car, Rita walked up to them with a look of sheer frustration all over her face. "OK," she said, rolling her eyes, "Jane won't talk to me because she said, 'You're a girl so you wouldn't understand.' I tried telling her that maybe I would understand _because_ I'm a girl, but that did not seem to appease her..." Rita threw up her hands. She then grabbed the keys out of Phil's hands and motioned towards Bear's car where Jane sat curled up in the front seat. "I'll go get the beer. You go deal with her, I'm tired of her damn game."  


Rita might have told Phil she was sending him to a slaughter house by the look on his face. He hung his head and drug his feet to the car. Rita laughed cheerfully and frolicked away, heedless of this great sorrow induced on her husband. "Have fun, babe!" she called affectionatly. "Come on, slowpoke!" she called over her shoulder at Legolas. "It's not everyday you get to ride in a bad ass car like this..." she paused dramatically. "_Unless you're meeeee!"_ she squealed, widening her eyes and grinning. She opened her door, got in and unlocked his door. When he got in the car, she started it...almost. And then again...almost. On the third try, it revved and gave up, allowing itself to start. "Wooohooo!" she yelled, as she sqealed out of the parking lot in a cloud of dust. Legolas laughed aloud. She seemed to him fearless and loving, caring for every moment as if it were her last. Like a child, almost.  


Nearly the moment they had taken a few turns, two cars directly in front of them collided. Rita slammed on her brakes, throwing both of them forward. "Aie!" Legolas cried. "These fell beasts will conquor us yet!" He shielded his face with his arms.   


Rita had not cried a lament so sober. "Jesus save us!" she screamed. "Good Lord of mercy!" A car nearly slammed into the rear of the Camero. "Christ alive, dammit!"   


For a moment, time seemed to stop. Then all around was the sound of horns and shouting. People got out of their cars and 'trucks.' Legolas brought his arms down, and Rita slumped down in her seat. "Well, _damn_ it." She looked at Legolas hopelessly. "Douglassss!" she whined, pounding her steering wheel. "Crap," she said. Suddenly yelling, she cried, "Crap, crap, crap, _CRAP!_"   


Legolas felt obligated to interrupt her. "I do regret that this event has come upon us, but--" he paused, "what is it that we do now?"   


Rita sat with her hand on her stomach, and with her eyes closed. "I'm just going to sit here until someone makes me move." She looked over at Legolas, then closed her eyes again.   


A million thoughts ran through Rita's head. _Oh, God, I swear I am so sorry for anything I've done._ She opened her eyes and stared at the roof of the car. _What if I had lost it?_ She shook her head, and put the car in park, then killed it. Legolas looked at her concernedly as she covered her face with her hands.   


He placed a hand on her arm and pulled a hand away from her face. "Do not be alarmed, Lady Rita. I am positive we will suffer no more danger." To his great surprise, Rita threw back her head and laughed. "From whence comes this newfound hilarity?" Legolas asked her, and to his humiliation, she laughed even harder.   


"Dear God, Douglas!" she laughed. "Dear God, you are such a hoot. The next time we play Dungeons and Dragons you are there, boy, you are there." Rita shook her head and laughed again.   


They sat quiet for a moment. "Rita," Legolas finally said. "Who is God?"  


Rita turned to him with a strange tight smile on her face. She looked hard at him. "Excuse me?" she said.  


"And Jesus, and Christ, and who is your Lord? I do not understand the speech of you people," he admitted to her. She continued to stare at him, so he continued to ask questions of her. "Could this Jesus have really saved us? And you say your Lord is merciful? And you said, 'Christ alive', does that mean he is then dead?"   


"Jesus," she started, and then shook her head and looked confused. "Jesus is...Christ." She nodded, and looked back at Legolas. "It's Jesus Christ, or Christ Jesus, either one. But you should-"   


"Well if they are one then how can one who is dead save us?" Legolas looked at her, as he was now confused.   


"He died for mankind, he shed his blood for us, don't you-"  


"So he then is a martyr for all Men? And by his remembrance you may be saved from harm?"   


Rita stared at him in awe and wonder. "Are you messing with me?" she asked.  


"Pardon?" he asked.  


"Douglas, you have got to be kidding around. What religion are you anyways? Are you some sort of atheist?"  


Legolas shook his head. "I know not what an atheist is. And what is religion?" Rita shook her head.   


"Look, ask me later, that's just too weird." She patted her hair, and rearranged it a little, then told him, "Hey, tomorrow's Sunday, go to church with somebody."  


"Church?" Legolas asked.   


"Yes, please tell me you at least know what church is." Legolas' face was blank. "OK. Well then we'll talk about it later, but not now. I'm way too stressed."  


Legolas did not understand why they couldn't talk about Jesus now, but thought maybe it was better if he just followed her recommendation.   


* * *

a/n: i know this is a little shorter than the other chapters but you are just going to have to deal with it. i just started dating this guy named eric (he has his own prose thing i wrote about him posted up here if you want to seeeeee it! ^o^ !) and also i had to sit at my grandma's all day and watch her slowly die. i'll be going back tomorrow and watching her die some more. so if this gets a little morbid or even a little too cheery then just know that i'm going through a really weird time. so here you go, punkers! kisses, sarah.  



	15. Rita and the Authority

a/n: i am so ANGRY! i just almost had to pay $105 for a replacement cell phone which would have been the peak of ridicule, so i just got a refurbished one. piss on that one, punkers. damn it all. so i guess i will just deal with it. other than that, my grandma's going to die today, i'm not there and i can't get a hold of eric. great. so eat it up, darlings. this is the only thing i have to do. thanks for reading and leaving your reviews; it's very encouraging.   


* * *

Legolas noticed that she had once more placed her hand on her stomach. "Rita, are you with child?" he asked.   


Rita looked pained, and she shut her eyes and squealed. "Eeee! You're not supposed to ask that!" She looked at him helplessly. "Yessss," she said reluctantly. Rita then pointed an indignant finger at him. "But you and Phil are the only ones that know that. So you better not say anything." Legolas smiled at her.  


"Surely, milady if you would like for the others to be surprised, I will say nothing of this. But why is this a secret?" he asked her.   


* * *

a/n: hey my grandma died on wednesday, so i will be busy for the next couple of days so forgive me if this is slow going. please please please, even if you read this and don't like it, _please_ leave me a review, because it makes me very happy, even bad reviews O.o. it makes me happy to know that someone out there is reading my story. loves, sarah.  


* * *

Rita thought about it a minute. She didn't actually know why she hadn't told anyone. _Really, I should tell Marie at least. She is my best friend, and here she is, doesn't know about me being _pregnant_ but some stranger does._ "I don't really know," she finally replied, somewhat guiltily. "I guess just cause..." she paused. "Cause I think they would be upset?" she said, nearly asking Legolas.   


Legolas looked puzzled, and answered, "Nay, Rita, they would not be upset. I feel sure they would be glad for you. They-" he paused. "What the-" he cried, showing how quickly the vernacular of Bear had rubbed off on him. Rita looked down to where he was staring, at her wrist. In all the excitement of the wreck, her long flowing sleeves had come up, revealing her wrists, in particular her right one, where there was another tattoo. "_Aglar'ni faidwen_!" Legolas cried. _I've never been so happy to see a fragment of Sindarin in my life, even such a small one,_ he realized. Rita smiled happily.  


"Do you understand what it means? You would know, probably, you look like you would anyway, is it right? Does it look right?" she babbled away happily, glad to be off the subject of her pregnancy. Also glad to be on the subject of last year's tattoo, which other than her D&D group, had failed to make such a splash as her notorious leg's markings that made her "The Great Eye Wonder." In fact, Red, she and Phil's good friend and tattoo artist, had looked perplexed. 'What the hell do you want all this for? Rita, if you want a bracelet, you should get a vine with a flower, look at this picture here,' Red had suggested. 'No, dammit! I want this, if you can't do it, I'll just have to go somewhere else, Red,' Rita had warned. Phil had simply shrugged, and pushed Rita into the chair and pushed Red over her wrist. 'Do this,' he said, ever being the great peacenik. Rita now examined the markings around her wrist. They looked fairly good to her. But here next to her appeared to be the greatest Tolkien fan ever, so she wanted his opinion. "Really can you read it? That's so awesome, Doug; do the characters look right? I wasn't sure, do they look readable, do they look-"  


"They are absolutely beautiful," Legolas told her, cutting her off, and apparently quite pleasing her. It was actually not so, that the characters were beautiful. They were graceful, but incorrectly so. But they were readable, and seeing something in Sindarin in this fell world was the most beautiful thing he had seen in three days.   


"So you know what it means?" she shrieked, clapping her hands.   


Legolas was slightly put off, and a little exasperated. "Yes," (he stressed the syllable), "it means 'glory to the freedom.'"   


"Yes, yes! In Sindarin!" she added happily. "Oh, it took me so long to figure out how to write it in Sindarin, but I think I finally got it right. Is it?" she asked, in a frightfully happy tone, thrusting her wrist at Legolas. He took it, and upon closer examination, found that one of the characters in 'faidwen' was actually downside-up.  


"Perfect," he proclaimed, and returned her wrist to her.   


Rita looked ecsatic. Then she remembered where she was and looked around her. The police had arrived, and were now blocking any exit she might have had out of the scene of the wreck. _Dammit, I leave my cell phone with Phil one freaking time and that's when I need it. Just my damn Spanish luck. Silly Spain. Ireland is so much luckier. I need Phil with me, he's Irish, he's my lucky Irish charm,_ she thought randomly, her thoughts following no particular train of thought. She smiled. _I wonder what our baby will look like,_ she thought. Rita was startled out of her thoughts as a cop knocked on her window and motioned for her to get out of the car. "Oh, Christ, 'har standeth ye ole authoritee'," she slurred, annoyed. She started to open the door, thought twice, and then rolled down the window.   


A young scared-looking cop with large black mirroring sunglasses peered into the car. "Ma'am, could you please step out of the car?" he asked, as if to say, 'Please but only if you want?'   


Rita looked at Legolas with much doubting relish, and then back at the cop. "Look, sweetie, I'm not stepping out anywhere. I just about went into labour so you can just talk to me where I am. What do you need?" she asked him condenscendingly.  


The young man looked horrified. "You did wha-" he turned around, "what do I need from her, she-" Someone, a higher cop, barked something at him, and he whipped his head back around, looking more scared than ever. "Ma'am could you please answer a few questions?" he asked, his voice wavering.   


Legolas saw Rita's face, pitying, but disgusted. "Son, take off those damn sunglasses, you look like Richard Burton." Legolas was amazed as the man took off his sunglasses, and revealed huge brown eyes, full of doubt and fear. "Jesus, kid, what are you 19?"  


"I'm 20!" he retorted, his voice nearly breaking into a whine, then looked quite ashamed. Legolas couldn't help it, and burst into a short spurt of laughter, then stifled it with the back of his hand. This was authority? This was a child. The cop looked slightly peeved, but the fear never left his eyes. "Ma'am, Sir, are you two alright? Didja get hurt?" he asked, annoyed, tapping his finger on the window sill.   


"I'm fine like wine, sonny," Rita drawled, grinning away. Legolas smiled, noting this little pun. It reeked of Shawn, and Legolas figured she had probably borrowed it from him. "You, Douglas?"   


Legolas smiled. "Never have I felt more happy or invigorated in this filthy world of fell beasts." The cop looked from Legolas to Rita, Rita to Legolas, then back from Legolas to Rita.   


"Nice, very nice." He nodded. "Yeah, I see. Well you two can just be...'chillin like villians'" (he wildly waved his hands around during this phrase to show his sarcasm), "and I'll just be over here," (he pointed over his shoulder at a tree and Rita nodded with a smile), "doing my _job_. Mm-hm." He nodded, and put his sunglasses on nervously and with much difficulty, nearly putting an eye out. "Mm-hm, yeah, you just-" he waggled a finger at them, "you two just, just, just, _stay there._" Rita and Legolas nodded solemnly. He nodded, with his hands on his hips offensively, "Ye-ye-yeah- MA'AM." He then wandered off and then changed direction and hurried away with his hands still on his hips.   


They stared after him for a moment.  


Rita looked to Legolas with eyes wide and innocent. "Do you think I was a little too rough on him?" she asked. The two of them broke down laughing.   


"What a baby he was!" Legolas finally managed. "Only 20 years of age. That would make me...849 years older than him!" Legolas said, still laughing. Rita burst into another fit of giggles.   


"Yeah, I know, huh?" She shook her head. "Wow, but really! Man." She looked at the roof of the car absently, as if the math she was doing was written there. Legolas looked there too, but could not see whatever she was squinting at. She shook her head again. "I dunno. You're probly younger than me, too."   


"Really?" He shook his head. "I do not believe so, Rita."   


"Oh really, Padre? Is that so?" she said, crooking her head to one side. "I'm 24, how old are you?"  


Legolas knotted his eyebrows and shook his head, "869 years?" he asked, sure he had just made that quite clear.   


Rita waved this fact away. "Well you can't be more than 22." She studied his smooth, unblemished face, nearly (was it?) perfect. "_If_ that." Legolas sighed and gave his head a half shake. He hadn't really expected _that_ to take well. He wondered why everyone just assumed he had to have human characteristics. Rita saw his dissappointed look. "Don't worry, hon, you shoulda seen Phil when he shaved off his beard, he looked 12!" She wrinkled her nose and pressed her hands together over her mouth. "Eww, I felt like I was sleeping with a little boy, so I made him sleep on the couch until he grew it back!" She laughed, and Legolas laughed, too, mystified that she was so open about her personal life. Almost frighteningly, she seemed to sense this, and said, "I'm sorry, I guess I don't know you well enough to be talking about my sex life with my little boy husband."   


Legolas mimicked her earlier hand motions and waved the apology away. "Do not trouble yourself with it."   


Rita smiled. "You're so nice," she cooed. _He is really nice,_ she thought. _How the hell did he end up knowing Bear and Jane and all them?_ She decided to ask him. "How do you know Bear?"  


Legolas had wondered when someone was finally going to ask him. They had kind of just taken it for granted that he was Bear's friend, so Legolas figured that between bringing him and Sandy nonchalantly into his home and group of friends, he must do this often. "Actually," he started. "I just had the good chance to run into him this morning, and he took Shawn and I to the Rennaissance Festival." He paused for her comment, but surprisingly enough, she just nodded, as if for him to go on. "Then we came back to his house..." he trailed off. Legolas looked at her sideways. "Is it commonplace for Bear to drag in new persons often enough for the lot of you to be so accostomed to it?"   


Rita rolled her sparkling green eyes and smiled. "Yesssss," she hissed. "Oh, he's always making new friends. I don't understand how, I mean, he looks like a monster, doesn't he!" Legolas laughed. "See! I knew you saw it too." Rita shook her head impatiently. "Sometimes I feel like that boy's mother. He's always bringing girls to _me_, and showing new friends" (she indicated Legolas) "to _me_, and so on, and so on." She shrugged and looked at Legolas confused. "For God's sake, when he was in college that one semester, I had to study with him for tests, and then he'd show _me_ the grade he got!" From her tone of voice in this sentence Legolas figured it necessary to mirror her gaze of amazement in this pause. She seemed satisfied with his reaction, and went on. "I don't know. Me and Phil love him just like a little brother, so we play his little game. He's such a good boy," she insisted to Legolas, in what he thought to be a somewhat motherly tone. She smiled off at something on the windshield, another thing that Legolas couldn't find with any amount of squinting. She finally shook herself free of the stare and looked back at Legolas confidentially and with a bit of mischief.   


"You think he likes this Sandy girl?" she asked with a high degree of fascination. Legolas could think of nothing to say that would really appease her, so he merely shrugged. "I mean, but really, do you think he _likes_ her?" she asked again with one eyebrow raised and a slightly evil grin, as though this new rephrasing of her former question held a hidden power or strength separate and apart from the first.  


Legolas thought he'd give her something to talk about. "Sandy really seems to like him," he tried, not sure if he approved of this word 'like.' He wasn't even sure how it was being used.   


Rita was _highly_ satisfied with this answer. "Oooooooh," she cooed. "Ohhhh, my. Well, we'll see about this," she assured Legolas, patting his arm. She smiled to herself and murmured again, "We'll see about this." Legolas was not sure what she was referring to, however vaguely, and wondered if he ought not to have just kept his mouth shut.   


Rita looked around, and noticed that the traffic seemed to be clearing up a bit. The police cars had moved a little, and the wreckers were currently attempting to tow the pathetic Honda Civic and (somewhat) triumphant Toyota Camry away. Rita clapped her hands. "Oh, hooray!" she cried. Legolas stared at her in alarm. "It's going away!" she explained, still clapping.   


Legolas' face cleared and brightened. "That is wonderful!" he cried, and laughed aloud. Rita went through the entire process of revving the engine twice, and then a third time for real, and they began to pull away. They had not been in the car for more than 30 seconds when she pulled the car over at a small building reading, "SPEC'S LIQUOR." Legolas looked at her in disgust. "Are you serious?" he cried?  


"What?" she asked in complete confusion.  


"We were that close the entire time? I could have-- You could-- Anytime would have been--" he stammered.  


Rita threw her head back and laughed. "Oh, quiet down, Padre." She opened her door and got out. Legolas followed, and they shut their doors together. "This is America, home of the laziest people in the whole world." Legolas was still shaking his head in amazement at her when they walked through the door with the ring of a bell.  


* * *

a/n: well, i have to go in a minute to the viewing at the funeral home, tomorrow's the funeral. sorry if this took a little longer, but remember i'm not basing rita on anyone of my friends. i'm creating her, so it's more of a creative process than that of the natural process of simply describing my little friends. and there's the whole deal of 'half way paying attention in class.' it only about two hours to write from the second a/n down, but before that was difficult. it's hard being inspired. remember to **VOTE FOR YOUR FAVOURITE NON-LEGOLAS CHARACTER** and for god's sake, **PLEASE LEAVE ME A NOTE, PRAISE OR FLAME I CARE NOT.** thank you. kisses, sarah.  



	16. Hey, it's Deedee Ramone!

a/n: finally! once more, i am in class, and now i will be back on the scene....i think. but i will try to at least get another chapter done today. allllllllright. **KEEP VOTING FOR YOUR FAVOURITE NON-LEGOLAS CHARACTER**. and please please please please!!!!!!!! **LEAVE REVIEWS, GOOD OR BAD.** i need all the encouragement i can get. in about 2 weeks, i am going to attempt to move out of my house with my friends nicki and claude, and it will be a very very difficult time for me. so i will need any support i can get even if it's on a silly fan fic. i was kind of upset that nobody read the 15th chapter, but since i have nothing better to do, and i can't really do anything about i, then i will just write more and hope that there are still a few people that are reading it. thanks so very much!!!!!! kisses, sarah.  


* * *

After the trip to SPEC'S LIQUOR and a quick trip to Cigarettes Cheaper for Phil some cigarettes, they got back to the apartment, about forty five minutes later. Rita and Legolas busted in through the ever unlocked door, brandishing the trophies of their trip: two packs of Marlboro Reds, and a 24-pack of Miller Lite. "Tadaaaaa!" Rita cried at the dead silence in the room, throwing the cigarettes at Phil.   


They smacked him in the face and fell to the ground. Phil, unfazed, jumped up and ran to Rita. "Rita! What the hell took you guys so long!" He took her face in his hands and then hugged her tightly.   


Rita stood with her arms at her side, and allowed herself to be hugged. Legolas looked around the room at Bear, Sandy, Jane, Marie, Gusto, Shawn, and Everlease, all standing or sitting around the living room, looking worried each in their own way. Mostly...the room was thick with cigarette smoke. Rita pulled away from Phil. "What are you _talking_ about? For God's sake, there was a wreck, and-"  


"Shit, Rita! Are you all right?" Phil yelped.   


Rita stared at him. "Well I was until I got in here and you started freaking out on me," she said, turning the statement around.  


Phil put his hands on his hips, and looked down, shaking his head. "Damn, man. Damn." His head snapped up. "Is the car all right?"   


Rita rolled her eyes. "Jesus, Phil!" She laughed, and the sound was foreign to the still air. "The car is _fine._" Phil dashed out the door. Rita watched after him and then walked in the room. "What is wrong with all of you?" she asked, feeling outside herself. Fourteen quiet eyes stared back at her, and seven sealed lips. "_WHAT?_" she hollered. Marie stood up and walked towards the kitchen.  


"Hey, Rita, come in here real quick."   


Rita looked around hopelessly, then followed Marie into the kitchen. Legolas felt very out of place, but wanted to sit down. He finally found himself meandering over to the spot where Marie had been sitting, next to Jane, whose face was in her hands. When Legolas sat down, she looked up at him, and he saw that her eyes were puffy from crying. _Pretending to cry,_ Legolas thought, _Maybe she wasn't really just pretending._ He awkwardly patted her arm, and she took this as a lisense to lean on him, resting her head on his shoulder. Strangely enough, he felt true sorrow from her. _I wonder if she is not blamed for more than she does._ Again he patted her arm, but with a genuine empathy this time, and Jane sniffed. Legolas felt Everlease's eyes on him, and he realized that she was gaping at this actual sign of comfort towards someone.   


"Man-what...what happened?" Bear muttered, finally raising his eyes up.   


Legolas gave a small shrug. "There was a wreck right before us, and we were forced to stay there for a while before they," he faltered as he floundered for the words, "took...the cars...that were smashed away. Then we went to the store for the beer, and then to Cigarettes Cheaper for--" he indicated the packs of cigarettes lying on the ground. As if on cue, the door opened and shut, and Phil trudged towards the couch, then sat down. He picked up one of the packs and opened it, then lit one, taking long drags off of it.   


After a long, about 5 minute silence besides the murmurings of Rita and Marie in the kitchen, Gusto stretched loudly on the couch, and rested his arms on Shawn and Everlease. Shawn snuggled up to him, and Everlease smiled and rolled her eyes. "GODDAMN!" he screamed at the ceiling. The murmuring in the kitchen stopped and Rita and Marie peeked around the corner. Satisfied that it was 'just Gusto,' they disappeared again. But in the living room, the ice seemed to be broken. Bear laughed loudly and crick-popped open a beer, then wandered away from where he'd been standing since Rita and Legolas had come in. Gusto and Jane, too got themselves beers, and Phil simply lit another cigarette and leaned back on the couch. Sandy, from behind Bear, motioned for Legolas to come talk to her. Legolas gladly squirmed away from Jane and joined her near the door. The noise level in the room had now risen to such a level that they could speak loudly enough to hear each other but not be heard by the others.  


"Man, what was that all about?" Sandy half-whispered, wrinkling her nose. "So you guys took a little longer, what's the big deal?"   


Legolas shrugged. "I know not. Rita and I are completely unharmed. I do not see what was to fuss about."  


Sandy looked disgusted. "Well me neither. After about 15 minutes, Satan disappeared with Bear and then when they came back they spread the worried look to everyone and we'd been sitting that way" she indicated towards the couches "for 10 minutes before you came." Legolas' eyebrows raised. "So do you think this is weird?" She looked at him. "At all?"  


Legolas nodded. He didn't know what 'weird' was supposed to imply, but he thought it sounded apt for the description. Sandy squinted away and restated it, "Well, maybe not this, but well I don't know, Rita seems pretty normal. And Gusto didn't really act weird about it." Legolas involuntarily wrinkled his nose at the mention of Gusto, then caught himself and stopped. Sandy smiled. "What, you don't like Gusto?"  


Legolas shrugged and smiled. "He seems to be a happy person."  


Sandy smiled. "Soooooo...?" she prodded.  


"He smells disgusting," Legolas whispered, finding himself confiding in her.   


Sandy laughed. "Yeah, anybody who looks that much like Mick Jones would have to smell!" Legolas laughed, even though he didn't really understand what he was laughing at. "He's cute though," she added confidentially. Legolas smiled, then remembered his statement, 'She really seems to like Bear...' His smile wavered. "What?" Sandy asked.  


"What do you think about Bear?" Legolas asked, wondering why he was gossiping with this young human girl. It was obviously a waste of his time, and it could only cause trouble later.  


Sandy tapped her cheek with her index finger and smiled. "Hmmmm," she thought aloud. "He's really nice." She giggled and covered her face with her little hands. "Eeee! I don't know." She peeked at him through a little crack in her fingers, then put her hands down. "I don't know," she repeated. "I think he's really awesome, and I like that he's really kind of wild. But-" they were then interrupted, oddly enough, by a silence. They turned around.   


Wandering out of a bedroom was a slim little man, clean shaven but with somewhat short black shaggy hair. His mouth was bowed into a slim smile, and his eyes were completely hidden behind large black sunglasses. He was in a dress shirt and dress pants like Shawn but without shoes, white shirt and black pants. An unlit cigarette rested between his lips but did not interfere with his immutable smile. Bear, sensing the silence wandered out of the kitchen and spotted him. "Hey, everybody, it's Deedee Ramone!" Shawn clapped and there were a few laughs. The mysterious slim figure held out his arms and stumbled over to the 24-pack, taking a beer. He fished around in his pocket and threw a 5 dollar bill in the case, then wandered out of the apartment.   


The noise level resumed, Bear shrugged and started back into the kitchen. Sandy and Legolas looked at each other. "Bear!" Sandy called. He turned, and started towards she and Legolas. He nodded, as if to ask what she needed. "Who was that?" Sandy asked.   


Bear knotted his eyebrows and looked confused. "Who was who?" he laughed.  


Sandy looked confused now, too. "That," she started, "that..._guy_ who just walked through here that looked like Deedee Ramone." Bear's face melted into an 'oh, _that_ guy' look. "Who is he? Is he your roommate?"  


Bear rolled his eyes. "I don't know _who_ the hell he is." Legolas and Sandy stared at him in shock. "Yeah, I know, it's kind of weird, but I found him sleeping in there one day, and he pays me a hundred bucks a month to stay here, and whenever he takes something to eat or drink he leaves the money wherever he finds it. Dude, like I'll freakin open up my fridge and there'll be a few bucks in there, and I'll know he's been there."  


Once again Sandy and Legolas stole a glance at each other. "What is his name?" Legolas inquired.   


Bear shrugged in his usual overly animated fashion. "Well, hell if I know!" He looked off and laughed. "Damn I don't know _who_ the fuck that kid is. I don't know his name, I don't know where he comes from, hell, all I know is that he doesn't smoke, at least not in here, but he's always got a damn cigarette in his mouth, I've just never seen him smoke it." Bear shook his head, laughing. "I never know whether he's here or not unless I see him. He just stays in the room and sleeps, doesn't watch T.V. or nothin. Doesn't eat much, never heard him talk." Bear shrugged. "Think he works at the Pasta Company, I've seen him wonderin around there before."  


"Well has he ever taken anything before?" Sandy cut in, her face frozen in amazement.  


"Naw, not that I know of. Like if he's going to bring something back, like one day he came over to me with that Brave New World book, (I didn't know I even owned that), and waved it around, then woke me up later that day while I was sleepin on the couch to show me that he brought it back." Bear laughed loudly, "Actually he's the best kind of kid you could ask for to live with." He looked at the two of them. "Whoever the hell he is." Bear laughed extensively as he wandered away.   


Sandy looked at Legolas. Legolas looked at Sandy. "God, that was weird." Legolas nodded. "I mean, who the hell has somebody living with them that they don't even know who they are?" Legolas shrugged.  


"I suppose..." Legolas paused. "Just Bear." They smiled, and Sandy shrugged and wandered off. Legolas then looked up to see Everlease walking towards him.  


* * *

a/n: you know, i usually never do a cliffhanger, (if you want to classify this ending as that....) but just because no one's reading my story anyways, i think i'll leave this chapter just a few cards short of a deck. and with a cliffhanger. and with a goddamn new character. wooo, deal with that, you mothers. i guess now i'm just writing it for myself. awwww, who cares anyways. i only wish someone was reading this. i just wish this thing had a counter, like you could see how many people even went to it. i don't think anyone pays attention to this. oh well. i like writing it anyways. just for the hell of it, i'll tell you what i've been feeling so bad about lately, i am dating that guy eric but on valentines day i went out with the drummer of this band, his name is austin, and i kissed him, and now i feel really really bad. man i'm so horrible. ok well now that that's off my chest, i think i will leave you all alone for a while. well, until the next chapter....... kisses, sarah.  



	17. Leaving the Gathering

a/n: i am so jealous of all the little short stories i read that have like 9 chapters and 600 reviews. hm. well anyways, in the personal department, i am now going completely mad over austin and eric. i like them both, in different ways, i wish i were two different people. christ alive. well anyways, i guess we can't have everything. i will have to pick. austin makes me feel better about myself, and i'm more sure of eric liking me for an extended period of time. who knows. i'm NOT A HO. i am just confused. i will figure things out.   


ANYWAYS...let's drop the voting thing, i know nobody likes it, and we all know bear won anyway. (and there was much rejoicing, "yay.") (i've seen monty python and the quest for the holy grail way too many times.) but do leave me reviews. so here goes. ooooookay.  


* * *

From then on out, the "gathering" (as Marie so affectionatly called it) went smoothly. Legolas mostly kept to himself, refusing to touch the drink they were all partaking of, this, "Miller Lite." For a while he discussed the, to him, incredibly absurd idea of the role playing game of Phil and Rita known as "Dungeons and Dragons," or as they called it, "D&D." Legolas could not make himself understand the idea of why it would appeal to a group of already fascinating people to leave behind their already strange identities and take upon new ones, usually of a different species of themselves, and pretend to go on an adventure. At one point Legolas could hold back his curiousity no longer.   


"If you would like to see the world and have an 'adventure' so badly, why do not you just go out and look for one?" Legolas had burst in a way very unlike himself. (In the last few days, due to the nearly complete lack of understanding between him and the mass population of humans, he had become rather jumpy and could feel his normally omnipatient attitude slowly disappearing.)   


Rita and Phil both looked at each other and laughed (or rather, Rita giggled.)   


At around midnight, they left, (Rita and Phil), taking Jane and Marie home, too. Shortly thereafter, Shawn, Everlease, and Gusto left. Actually, no one even saw Shawn leave, just all of the sudden he wasn't there any longer. The general assumption was that he left with Gusto and Everlease. Slowly the crowd diminished to just a drunken Bear, a smoking Sandy, and a very hungry Legolas. He had not eaten much in the last few days, mainly just the big ass turkey legs from very early this morning. In his lessened state of patience, he asked, "Might there be anything in the cupboard I can eat?"   


"Certainly, cowboy!" Bear bellowed. He lumbered into the kitchen, with Legolas and Sandy behind him. Sandy was laughing, Legolas was hoping he wasn't as drunk as he was letting on. He yanked open the refrigerater, and rummaged around ruthlessly. "Cabbage, cabbage, beer, Coke, rancid _eggs_, potato salad, and..." he opened the top portion of the refrigerator, "Blue Bell ice cream! It's vanilla!" He clapped and Sandy squealed. Bear got a little tub out of the freezer and set it on the bar. Turning to Legolas he said, "Do you like vanilla?" Legolas shrugged.   


"Quite honestly, I have never had 'ice cream' before."   


Sandy and Bear paused, looked at each other, then laughed. "Yeah, right!" Sandy laughed, poking him in the side. Legolas recoiled slightly. _What is it with these people and disbelieving my ignorance of their trite enjoyances?_ He shook his head, and the expression on his face must have conveyed confusion, on account of Bear's next comment.  


"Yeah, you're confused? Dude, I'd like to know who the hell doesn't eat ice cream?" He threw up his hands and looked at Sandy. She played along by giggling and throwing up her own hands. "Who the _fuck_ doesn't eat Blue Bell ice cream?" he yelled. Drawing scoops of the stuff out of the tub, Bear gooped it into small ceramic bowls. "Here you go, cowboy!" he hollered, thrusting a bowl at Legolas. Legolas took it somewhat reluctantly, then the small spoon that followed, then wandered away into the living room.   


He flopped down on the couch, and began to pick at the 'ice cream.' Finally, curiosity and hunger combined got the best of him, and he took a meager bite. _This is not all that bad!_ he thought in disbelief. Aside from the fact that it was too rich and sweet, the texture was perplexingly delicious, and it was quite filling. Legolas ate the 'ice cream' hungrily and quickly. But as soon as he did, he felt a splitting headache rise in the centers of his temples. "Mmm!" he lamented aloud, setting his bowl on the table next to the glass try of ashes and cigarette butts. In the following moment of silence while he massaged his temples, he heard Bear and Sandy talking in the kitchen.  


"...yeah, I still need to get another T.V. And fuck, man! She tried to get the microwave, but I didn't let her."  


"Wow, was the T.V. and stuff her's?" Sandy asked.   


"Yeah..." Bear trailed off for a moment. "Shit, I don't know."  


"Yeah," Sandy said, agreeing with his lack of words. They were silent for a moment, and Legolas wondered if he should be listening to them. _But after all,_ he told himself, _they are not really saying anything anyhow._ But once again, as if on cue, they were.  


"Bear, I should probably go," Sandy said, with a bit of conviction.   


Legolas heard the stomp of Bear's combat boot clad foot connecting with the linoleum of the kitchen floor. "Dammit, Sandy! Please don't go!" he whined like an infant.   


"Awww," Sandy cooed. "I know, I gotta go, though." There was a drawn out silence. Legolas got up and started out the front door. His conscience had gotten the better of him. But just as he shut the door and walked away from it, he bumped into someone. Lithely, he stood his ground, but the other fell flat on his back. Legolas was suprised by the lack of comment, where a word like 'fuck' or 'shit' would have been substituted had it been a Bear-ish character. But there was nothing. The small figure got up, and dusted himself off.   


Just then, Legolas recognized him as the 'Deedee Ramone' character who had been in the apartment earlier. "My deep apologies, friend that I was not attending to where I was-" he stopped as hands were thrown out as if to say, 'Don't worry about it.'   


Legolas stepped aside to let him go in. The little man proceeded past him, but then came up around in front of him, circling him, looking him up and down. He finally stopped in front of Legolas with his hands on his hips. He cocked the unlit cigarette in his mouth up by smiling wider. Legolas was not sure what to do. He then remembered why he was outside. "I do not mean to be rude, but I would not recommend simply walking in there, as Bear and Sandy are..." he paused, searching for a polite phrase to get across that he didn't quite know what was going on by now. But the other just waved it away as if the right phrase wouldn't matter, and that he could guess. Legolas shrugged.  


They stared at each other for a moment. Legolas didn't know what to do; nor did he know what to do when he was handed a dollar bill dug out of a pocket, and then watched the shadow slink across the building. Legolas blinked and looked down at the dollar in his hands. He shoved it in his pocket. He wondered what he was going to do now. He figured he could just sleep on the grass again.   


He walked around the apartments and down the road aways, to Burrough's Park. Glancing down at the cold grass, and then out at the trees, he made an easy decision, and started for the woods. There was one oak in particular, large and welcoming. Legolas lept lightly up onto the lowest branch, and then a few branches higher. There was a slight breeze here, but he did not mind. He leaned against the trunk of the tree, and slept.  


* * *

a/n: i know this is short, but i am trying to branch out and do some other stories, a horror story in particular. it's called 'whispering elegantly to no one,' won't you please read it and put in your two cents! i love you! well anyways, i don't know what to do to this story. make some suggestions, please. and thank you for your reviews, they are each and everyone of them appreciated. la la la. kisses and hugs, sarah.  



	18. Nervous Breakdown

a/n: i hate my life, and i pretty much hate myself. thanks for reading. by the way, it would be a good thing if you downloaded 'needle in the hay' by elliot smith, and listened to it while you read this. it would make it a lot neater.   


* * *

Legolas woke up before the sun kissed the earth. He wandered about the forest, wondering about last night.  


Everlease had walked up to him. She did not stand before him, but to the side, staring at the wall, when she spoke to him. "So it's Douglas, is it," she stated.  


Legolas looked at her, and she continued to stare at the wall. "Everlease, I told you the truth." She blinked once, but her gaze did not wander from the wall. "Whatever information that contradicts that which I told you is truth misconstrued by the minds of the others about me." Everlease glanced up. Legolas followed her eyes, then reached his hand out to her shoulder.   


Everlease looked directly into his eyes. "You're a liar and a freak." She walked away stealthily, and did not speak to him for the remainder of the night.   


Here and now, Legolas leaned against the trunk of an old oak tree. It said nothing to him, and Legolas shut his eyes. He had never felt so alone.   


There was nothing he could do to get back home. He was stuck here with the option of exploring further and farther this territory, or returning to Bear's apartment.   


_or Everlease's_  


The thought was brief and insolent. _She would not have me._ He suddenly straightened up.   


"I am a prince," he said aloud. Legolas inhaled deeply and his chest rose. "I am a _prince_!" he yelled. The response were a few leaves fluttering to the forest floor about him. He stood and stared up at the leafy canopy. "I will not be weighed down with the care of a young human girl," he whispered at the swaying tree tops. "I will not be a fool."   


_Where will you go? You are not a prince here._  


The voice of reason hit him hard and he slumped back against the old oak and clutched his shoulder. His wound rung with a dull ache.   


Legolas slid down the tree and tipped his head back to again watch the tree tops. They swayed in time to the rythym of the breezes, calmly dancing for no one but themselves, content with every aspect of their beautiful lives. Legolas watched the sky for many hours.  


Night came and went.   


The next day was grey, and ominous clouds threatened to spill their needling teardrops. Legolas finally dragged himself up, and walked towards the park, out of the forest.   


The moment he stepped out of the woods, the clouds in a tell tale fashion began to drip their hearts down onto the world. Legolas stopped and stood with his arms outstretched towards the sky. He stared up into the rain and allowed himself to be soaked. He tried to reach as high as he could, straining to feel the raindrops on his slender fingers, catching the droplets and feeling them roll down his palm, then his arm, and soaking into the Ramones shirt. He did not know how long he stood there. The rain fell harder and he let his arms down, feeling the blood rush back into his hands and down into his narrow fingers, and finally down to his fingertips.   


He stared straight ahead into the field. Everything seemed so blank and wrong. He took a step reluctantly, then another, then another.   


He finally found himself standing outside Bear's apartment. He stared at the green door for a long time. He ran a fingertip over the chipping paint. Finally, he patted on the door softly. There was no answer. He let his hand rest on the door knob, and wondered if he should try to open the door.   


He slowly wrapped his fingers around the knob, and turned it. He heard it click, and knew it was unlocked. Thoughtlessly, he pushed the door. It swung open, and he stepped inside, leaving the cold rain behind him. He wondered what he was going to do now that he was here.   


"Bear?" he called, hating the sound of his own voice.   


A familiar figure came lumbering around the corner a full three minutes later; a time in which Legolas had stood stone still. "What the fuck--hey man, it's you!" Bear's face brightened in recognition. He rolled over the back of the couch, and lie stretched out, shirtless, lighting up a morning cigarette. Legolas watched him in pleasant dismay, a sort of depressed smile wavering on his face. Bear glanced up, watching Legolas downside up from his position on the couch. "Hey man, what's up? What's the deal?" Bear sat up and began to look as serious as Bear could possibly look. He patted the seat of the couch beside him. "Sit your ass down, kid and tell me wha's on your mind." Legolas let his feet carry him over to the couch facing the one where Bear sat. "OK, over there, yeah, I probably smell like beer and ass." With the finishing word of that sentence, he clapped his hand over his mouth, in a rare moment. It was not common for Bear to actually regret something he said.   


Bear's voice dropped a mile, to a raspy whisper. "Shit, I forgot Sandy's still in there." Legolas rose to his feet, expressionless, but Bear pulled him back down. "Don't _worry_ man, she's out cold. I mean!" His face reddened. "WOW that sounds bad, I mean she's like totally fuckin asleep." He nodded, waited for the mirroring nod of understanding from Legolas, and then nodded again to confirm that he had done nothing inherently wrong. Legolas glanced up at the ceiling, then back at Bear. "Yeah, I know, it seems scummy, but we really fuckin clicked, I mean, like you have no frickin clue how much that girl in there," he waved his arm towards the general vicinity of the bedroom, "means to me. Already." He looked off into space, squinting his eyes and shook his head. "I mean, really." He looked at Legolas. "Really."   


"Really," Legolas repeated, the only word he had spoken since his grand entrance of 'Bear?'.   


Bear nodded furiously, overjoyed to hear Legolas agree with him. "Yeah, you see man, you see it." He smiled. "Night 'fore last, when you guys were over, she stayed over, and then yesterday, she went to Ren Fest to work, and I called her cell up there at 5, and she came straight over here again. She's got today off," he said, raising his eyebrows and grinning evilly. Once more, Legolas stood, expressionless, and Bear, once more, pulled him back down. "Simmer down, cowboy, it's not like we're trying to get into a menage-a-trois with you." Bear laughed, and Legolas' face was a blank. Bear laughed again. "Menage-a-trois? Don't know? Didn't think so." He laughed away into the other side of the room, then gave Legolas' knee a sharp possessive pat. "Look man, I really need to know what the fuckin deal is. If I don't know what the problem is, I can't help you with it."   


Legolas stared ahead, opened his mouth the speak, then shut it again.  


Bear slapped his knee. "Damn! We were almost about to get somewhere, man!" But at the last word, Legolas cut him off.   


"I am worthless in this world and I will never be able to survive in a place where naught but sorrow is able to befall me." Bear was squinting at Legolas' face, mouthing the words after him, and Legolas gave him time to digest that statement before he began again. "I cannot see another sunrise with every last dream of joy erased from my being." Bear had began to mouth that sentence when he paused and waved his arms around dramatically.   


"Woah, woah, woah, man, you have got to be kiddin me." He turned to look at Legolas with his right eye. "You're not--suicidal--are you?" he asked, with frightened eyes like a startled deer.   


Legolas did something then that he in all his years had never done. He rested his elbows on his knees, cradled his face in his hands, and shut his eyes: he allowed himself to slip into a deep depression.  


For all Elves, this is the most fatal sort of gorge to fall into. It can mean the end of an everlasting life. For death is not induced by old age--only by killing or sorrow. Legolas had now come upon one of these horrifying perils--he had finally felt a deep and helpless sorrow.   


Bear, of course, did not know this, but he sensed that something was very wrong. He jumped up, off his couch, and rushed over to sit next to Legolas, then began to babble. "Look, if this is all about your girlfriend, what's-her-name, oh shit, what was it, shit, oh Mary! Yeah, Mary, if this is about her, then you tell me, and we'll find 'er, and talk to 'er, and we'll get this all straightened out, cos I know I haven't known you for that long, but I know that nobody should go through this kind of shit over a girl. Look, man, look at me, naw, man, don't be this way! Oh, shit, I don't know what to do, but look man, oh, God _dammit!_" he ended, as if with a grande finale.   


As if to testify to his being loud and, once more, obnoxious, Sandy chose that moment to wander into the room, wearing a Bikini Kill shirt and underwear, and rubbing her eyes like a sleepy toddler. She stopped when she saw Legolas. "What's going on?" she asked, stretching, and sitting down on the couch where bear had been sitting. "What's wrong, Douglas?"   


She did actually sound concerned, Legolas thought. It didn't matter. His head did not raise. He could not bring himself to face any of these humans.   


"What's wrong with Doug?" she asked Bear.  


Bear shrugged and shook his head, as if to say, "I'll tell you later." Sandy nodded, and took this as her cue to leave, and to go get dressed. 

Legolas shook his head, still in his hands, from side to side slowly, not saying a word. "Come on, man!" Bear cried, wringing his hands. Now he really was worried about Legolas. "Was it something somebody said the other day?" Legolas raised his head and looked at Bear. To Bear it seemed that Legolas' eyes were empty and void of all hope, and it scared him quite badly. "OK, that's it man," Bear said, his voice wavering. "I'm calling my sister." Legolas' eyes actually looked up at Bear with some amount of distant instrest. "She's a fuckin shrink and she'll know what to do. What's today? Uhhhh... Shit yeah, it's Monday. OK, I'm callin her!" Bear got up and moved towards the kitchen. "I really am!" he warned. Legolas did not seem to care, so he dashed into the kitchen, picked up the phone and dialed his sister, Dr. Luthien Stone.   


* * *

a/n: this was going to be longer but i decided not to do that. it was about to get way too long for my little pattern. but i still love you. anyways, yeah. please leave a note, i loooooove you. please! and if you have time, download needle in the hay by elliot smith and listen to it while you read the next chapter. really it would have been better for this one. i could take the time to type that in at the top. i think i will. ok.by. thanks for reading, it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. i love you. kisses, sarah. 


	19. Getting Ready

a/n: in class and loving it. one boy in jail, one boy in temple, one boy playing punk shows, and one boy in high school. i'm a busy busy girl. plus i've got my two schools, an application at office depot, and church. and my friends. and my band. i'm a BUSY BUSY GIRL! please leave me notes. i love you.  


* * *

The phone rang twice and was picked up, "Hello, Dr. Stone's office, how may I help you today?" a professional voice chirped.  


"Dude, is this Lu?" Bear asked breathlessly.  


There was a lengthy pause. "Nooo, sir, this is the receptionist, Allison, would you like me to put you through to Dr. Stone?" She sounded confused.   


"Aw, sh- yeah. Yeah, do that," Bear gasped.   


"One moment please," Allison returned.   


Then came the Muzak. "Oh, I _hate_ this Goddamn elevator music-" Bear muttered.  


"Dr. Stone sp- Beren is that you?"  


In spite of the situation, Bear laughed. "Yeah.... It is me, sis. What's goin on?"   


"BEREN!" she hissed.   


"LU!" he gave back.  


"What are you doing! I asked you not to call me up at work! I would actually like you to not call me at all, you big--" she paused, "jerk!" During her out burst, Bear was reminded of what he called for.   


"Dude, Lu, I need to talk to you! I have a friend here and he is like so fuckin down,"   


"Don't say that word to me!"   


"Yeah whatever, he's really havin like a nervous breakdown or whatever. So..." Bear paused a second. "Can I bring 'im in?"   


Lu shut her eyes, took several deep breaths and counted to ten. "Bear, you don't have insurance. I'm sure your friend doesn't either. You could not possibly have enough loose cash to cover this." She opened her eyes. "Why are you all of the sudden so interested in utilizing or should I say taking advantage of my profession?"  


"Look, sis, I need you real bad right now, I'm serious this guy is fu- .... really upset. I think he's suicidal."  


Lu sat straight up in her seat. "Are you sure?" Bear gave her a yes, and she thought for a second. She'd only been in office for seven months, fresh out of college, and thought herself more than ready for a tough suicide case. "Really?" she said again. Bear mm-hmed. She could see him over lunch, and decide what to do with him. "OK," she said, "Listen close."  


She made plans to meet Bear, Legolas, and reluctantly a 'Sandy' for lunch in about an hour at 11:30 at the Olive Garden, with a promise to "treat them to lunch." She hung up the phone and squealed. Her first suicde case! How exciting!  


Bear hung up the phone and clapped his hands together. "ALRIGHT EVERYBODY LISTEN UP!" he hollered. Legolas looked up and Sandy wandered out of the bedroom in jeans and a t-shirt, pulling on a sock. "We're goin to the Olive Garden to meet my sister, and she's gonna figure out our little buddy here," he indicated Legolas. Sandy looked at him questioningly. "She's a shrink," Bear explained.   


Sandy looked alarmed. "Well don't you think we should kinda dress nice?" she said. Bear shrugged, with a big goofy smile. "Bear!" she shrieked and ran for the front door.   


Bear lost his grin and ran after her. "Where are you going?"   


"I'm going home to change, I don't want your sister to see me dressed like this!"   


"OK, well-" Bear paused.   


Sandy threw out a hand. "I'll um," she wiggled her fingers, as if that could help her think. "I'll come back here and pick you up, OK?" she said, her eyes lighting up. Bear clapped and she smiled at him briefly, then left.   


"Good deal, cowboy!" he hollered. He ran around to the front of Legolas and crouched in front of him. "Now look, I don't have too many nice clothes. But I'm going to let you have some. You come with me and we're gonna get fuckin fixed up!" He pulled Legolas up and dragged him into his bedroom. Rooting around in his closet, he continued to talk to Legolas over his shoulder. "Let's see....." he bellowed. "We got some khakis, and some white undershirts," he glanced over his shoulder, grinning, "that don't smell like weed," he looked back to the closet and continued his search. "And some nice sweaters -- ha! -- sweaters. Yes, we will wear V-neck sweaters! And, crap, my hair!" Legolas looked at Bear's glorious spikes. Bear shrieked like an 8 year old that's broken a priceless Ming vase, and dashed into the bathroom.   


Legolas took a look at the garb strewn out on the bed. Sand coloured pants, a plain white t-shirt, and a dark blue "V-neck" sweater. Legolas listened to Bear shouting out a "song," and the sound of some sort of water. He slowly and nearly hypnotically began to take off his shirt. But he then just found himself standing there for several minutes. He heard a ringing, and Bear streaked by in his shorts, merely a blur. "What?" Bear shouted at the phone breathlessly. "In an hour?! YES! Lu, I love you! We'll be there. Thank you! Thank you! OK, OK, I'm shutting up! BYE!" Bear walked back in the bedroom. Legolas found himself gaping at Bear's hair. It was wet, and down. Once clean, Bear did not look so awfully disgusting. Plus, he no longer smelled...for the time being. "Yeah, yeah, I know, I look like an asswipe." Legolas' eyes widened. _That was a disgusting phrase,_ he thought. "But Lu hates my hair spiked. OK, well I left the shower on, go use it." Bear sniffed the air. "I can't smell you, which is weird," he added, "but who knows, so go take a shower, or whatever."   


Legolas wandered into the bathroom, and looked warily at the "shower." It was spouting water out of a little metal circular peice, like rain from the tiled wall. He put a hand under it, and stared at his hand. It felt clean enough. He took the rest of his clothes off and got in the shower. It was actually nice to be under the warm water. He just stood there. He then heard Bear bust into the bathroom and saw his shadow behind the curtain. "Dude, I'm gonna leave some boxers in here, and socks. I'm still finding some crap for me to wear, yeah, oh -- shit. I'll be in here--" he trailed off, leaving the room. Legolas got out shortly thereafter. There were some shorts there, he supposed these were the fabled "boxers."   


Legolas entered the bedroom in the boxers and socks, then once more, gaped at Bear. He looked so decent, for what Legolas had seen in this place. Dressed in khakis, and nice brown shoes, he did not look so bad. He still however had not found a shirt. He finally put on an undershirt and a mauve sweater. Legolas put on his khakis, but Bear stopped him with the shirts. "Dude, let's go ahead and shave your head." Legolas allowed himself to be dragged back into the bathroom, and the "taxicab mohawk" shaved away. He then put the rest of the "nice" ensemble on and stood before Bear.   


Bear smirked. "Jesus." He looked at Legolas. "You look like a KKK-er." Legolas squinted at him. "Well you look like a freakin Aryan prince with your head shaved and you dressed nice and all." He laughed and looked at Legolas helplessly. "Damn." Legolas looked at him emotionlessly. "Well?" Bear asked him. "You got any ideas?" Legolas suddenly remembered his conversation with Shawn the other day in the car, and took this opportunity to say something.  


"I like Dashboard Confessional," he said blankly, not really even knowing what he was saying.  


"HOLY SHIT! You're a motherfuckin _genius!_" Bear yelled. "Emocore, here we go!" He clapped his hands. "OK, take those ugly mothers off," he instructed, pointing to Legolas' shoes. Legolas kicked them off. Bear pointed to the shoes he had been wearing before. "Chucks, put 'em on, they're very emo." Legolas sat down on the bed and began to put them on, then stood up. Bear nodded uneasily.   


"OK, the white power thing isn't goin away yet, dude, your head has I HATE YOU written all over it." Legolas looked at him, shocked. That didn't sound so good.   


Just then, they heard Sandy come in. "You guys ready?" she called. She walked into the bedroom. Bear stared at her with his mouth open, and she stared at him with her mouth open. Legolas stared at them both with his mouth shut. "Bear, you--" she started.   


Bear didn't say a word. Sandy looked stunning. Her blonde hair was up, and she was wearing a long dark jean skirt, with a pink button down shirt. "Well horse shit," he finally said. She laughed, and they both shrugged. Bear returned to the task at hand. "OK, our little buddy here looks a little too, uh," he waved his arms around, "uh, 'kill kill, blood makes the grass grow,' if you know what i mean." Sandy smirked, and laughingly agreed. "SO! We're makin 'em emo. We got the Chucks, but we're still missin something." Sandy held up a finger.  


"I have just the thing." She dashed out, and Bear and Legolas looked at each other; Bear shrugged. A moment later, she returned, waving wildly a pair of glasses, with thick black plastic frames. "They're not prescription," she said informingly. "My sister bought them at Claire's." She gingerly put them on Legolas and stepped back to see him. "What you think?" she asked Bear.   


Legolas stared at them, shoulders slumped, hands in pockets.  


"EMO!" Bear and Sandy hollered together. "Ooo wee ooo, I look just like Buddy Holly!" Sandy added, throwing in a little Weezer for the super duper emo occasion at hand. Bear whooped, picked Sandy up and whirled her around, with her shrieking like a toddler in a super market.   


They left shortly thereafter, en route to the Olive Garden.   


* * *

a/n: well that was really fun. i like writing this kind of stuhh. in fact, i think i want to do this for a living. well today i have to go get stuff for a picnic i'm doing tomorrow with all my sisters friends from school. i'm calling it the "easter break hunt party." it will be much fun. my sister is so embarrassed. her friends think i'm crazy. so i have a easter break hunt party to plan. au revoir! kisses! love, sarah.  



	20. Annoying the Pasta Company

a/n: in class. i think i'm happy. yes. i am. i finally decided how to get out of my house. i am just going to get married this summer, to josh. hoorah! ok, well enough of that. please leave me notes. i would like the encouragement. thank you.   


* * *

Bear and Sandy dragged Legolas out of the apartment like a couple dragging a child to Sunday School. But before they could get to Sandy's Kia, they heard a voice.   


"Young man!" the little voice said. They all three looked. An ancient woman in a pink terrycloth bathrobe looked down from the apartment porch above Bear's. She smiled, her face exploding into a puddle of wrinkles. "Is this the same Stone boy that lives under me? Well, I'll be! Look at you! You look like such a nice young man, today."   


"Thanks, Mrs. Gumbleton, you're lookin pretty marvelous yourself!" Bear called up.   


She threw her hands up to her face in mock embarrassment. "Bear, you rascal! You'll make me blush like a school girl. You get on out of here with your pretty little friends!" she warbled, then rushed back into her apartment. Sandy looked at Bear. Bear looked at Sandy. Sandy looked at Bear. They smiled and shrugged simultaneously, then laughed.   


They put Legolas in the backseat, strapping him in. He stared out the window at them when the door was shut. Bear and Sandy just stood there for a moment looking back at him. "Is kinda like how Shawn is when he's just messin around," Bear said, and then looked Sandy in the eyes. "But for real you know?"  


Sandy nodded. Bear looked so worried. So they got in the Kia and drove away. It was quiet for a moment, and then Bear asked, "Can we have some music? How bout some punk rawk!" he laughed. Sandy started to turn on her Dropkick Murpheys cd, then paused. "What?" Bear asked.  


Sandy motioned to the backseat. Bear still looked confused. "I don't think he needs to hear anything like that."   


"It'll make em happy!" Bear argued, smiling.  


"It'll give em a migraine," Sandy said firmly, still smiling at Bear. He knotted his eyebrows. Sandy glanced at the small red holes above and below his left eyebrow where the bar usually sat. She smiled. _I like this kid a lot but he might just be sort of stupid,_ she thought. She dropped her voice to a whisper. "I don't really think he listens to that kind of stuff."   


Bear remembered the Dashboard Confessional comment. His face brightened. "Ohh! Shit! Yeah, you're right!" he bursted. "Holy fuck! That would be bad!" he whispered.   


Sandy smiled and nodded knowingly. Bear mirrored her nod and smiled off into the window beside him. Sandy kept her smile and shook her head. _A little daft?_ she thought.   


At last they arrived at the Olive Garden. Much to their dismay, they saw that the waiting line was out the door, and onto the porch. "Oh, shit! What're we gonna do!" Bear yelped.  


"I dunno..." Sandy looked around, and parked next door at a biking goods store. "I dunno," she repeated, shrugging at Bear.   


Bear squinted out the window. "Hey, there's Lu!" He rolled down the window and waved wildly to his sister. Sandy saw a woman jump back in a Lexus and drive up next to them on Bear's side. She put the car into park and rolled down the window. Sandy thought she actually was very pretty for someone who shared so many features with Bear. Looking again at Bear, she noticed that perhaps if you didn't know him, he might not be so obnoxious looking. Sandy smiled to herself, and then Lu and Bear started talking at the same time.  


"Look at this place, Bear, was this your idea--"  


"Hey look at all the people, no! You were the one who--"  


"We will just have to go somewhere else: do you--"  


"We're gonna have to, yeah! Let's go to ummm--"  


"How about the Pasta Company?"  


"Dude, I dunno, OHH! Yeah, the Pasta Company!"  


Then suddenly they cried in unison, "OK!" and rolled up the windows. Bear looked at Sandy, who was staring at him, taken aback, eyes wide. "What?" he laughed. He then threw a hand forwards and shouted, "Forth to the Pasta Company!" Sandy giggled and shrugged, backed the car out of the space, put it in drive and took off on 1960 to the Pasta Company.  


Fifteen minutes and three frustrating traffic ridden miles later, they arrived at the Pasta Company. Bear pointed out his sister's Lexus, and Sandy parked her Kia next to it. They all got out. Subconsciously, Sandy and Lu looked each other over.   


Sandy thought Lu looked very professional in her black dress pants and white blouse, with her shiny, healthy looking brown hair pulled tight into a french twist. It made her face look taut, but still lovely. Her eyes were large and brown, but her lips were pursed--she was not a nonsensical person like her little brother, dear Bear.   


To Lu, Sandy looked very young. She could only be about 17. _What does Bear think he's doing?_ Lu thought nervously. _I hope this is not supposed to be his girlfriend._ To her immediate dismay, Bear leapt up to Sandy and took her little hand, cooing over her and acting like a certified idiot. Her long blue jean skirt had slits that showed of her _of course_ perfect little legs and she wore pink sandals to match her pink shirt. _Wrinkles, hm?_ Lu thought, surveying the slight creases in the starched shirt. She tipped her chin up. _Hm,_ she thought. _Probably just another skinny little brat._   


Sandy might have well just been able to read this off her face. She was terrified of her! _She looks like she wants to wring my neck!_ Sandy thought, frightened. Bear must have sensed something, for once, and put her hand in his. "Don't be afraid of her, she's just a little weird." Sandy giggled nervously, a tight little smile on her face. Bear knew that he ... had not helped. "Really, I mean, yeah, don't get too close to her or she'll fuckin diagnose ya with a phobia or anxiety disorder, but really, it's OK!" Sandy did laugh this time, and her smile eased a little. Bear smiled too, and patted her on the small of her back. But then Sandy saw Lu still staring at her, and shivered a little.   


"Acute ophthalmophobia," Lu said, walking up to Sandy. "Fear of being stared at." Sandy's tight smile returned. Lu smiled though. "I have that, too," she remarked, grinning--a grin that was dangerously close to Bear's. "I'm Dr. Stone," she said holding out her hand to Sandy. While they shook hands, Bear poked her in the side. "Ow! What? Oh, yeah, Lu, my first name is Lu," Bear poked her again, "ow! Stop that! OK! You can call me Lu, sure," she said, then turned to her brother. "Bear you litte -- ughhhhh!" She clenched her hands, shut her eyes, and counted to five silently. She then opened her eyes and smiled, turning to Legolas. "Hi," she started. She looked closely at him.  


Legolas' eyes were blank, and there were black circles already starting to spawn beneath them. "I--" she started, "I'm Bear's sister, Lu." She put her hand out and he stared at it, his eyebrows knotted. Lu retracted her hand instinctively, then felt bad. She patted his arm. "Hey, are you alright?" She waited, and realized he was breathing through his mouth, not his nose. "Do you need to lie down?" She patted his arm again. He stared at her face. She looked away a little, but managed to make herself look him in his hollow eyes. She patted his arm. Pat, pat. "Hey-" pat pat, "Can you hear me?" Pat, pat. "You---" pat "hey--".   


"Can you get your frickin hands offa him and us go eat?" Bear yelled at the sun, arms in the air.   


Lu whirled around, eyes narrowed.   


Sandy had to suppress a smile. She wandered inside the building to book a table for four. The brother and sister began to bicker.  


"_Could you **please**_ not patronize me like that, Beren?"   


"Why dontcha patimrize my ass, sis!"  


Lu gasped. "Why you little heathen!" She made a swipe at him, and hit his arm.   


Bear threw back his head and laughed. "You and your weenie self defense. You couldn't fight your way out of a Goddamn paper bag!"  


Lu stepped up to him, hands on hips and fumed, "At least I don't have to try, with my friends." Bear's eyebrows raised in amusement. "And would you _please_ not take the Lord's name in vain?"  


Legolas looked from one to the other, then quietly stepped between the two to follow Sandy. Bear and Lu looked after him. "We better follow him, he's a real trip," Bear whispered hoarsely to Lu. She rolled her eyes, but followed Bear into the Pasta Company building. Sandy and Legolas were walking after a waitress, so Bear ran after them. (Lu walked briskly.) When they were seated they all gazed up at the overly cheerful waitress.  


"Hallo, my name is Jennifer and I'm not your waitress to day unfortunatly!" (a quick giggle) "but I will be taking your drink orders so if you will just look on your menus in front of you and pick a drink out and then you just tell me and I'll bring it right out! So! Do you know already what you want or do I need to give you a minute??" Her mouth was frozen open in a freeze frame smile, with perfect white teeth and pink sparkly lips. They all stared at her blankly.   


"No?" Sandy said.  


Legolas put his head on his arms on the table.   


"Come back in a minute can -" Lu started.  


"Jesus Christ, can I get an ashtray?" Bear bellowed.   


Lu put her hands in her face, and Sandy covered a giggle with her mouth. A few people turned around, and "Jennifer's" smile dripped off her face. "Can I please get an ashtray?" he repeated. "You're steppin on all my nerves today uh who are ya ... Jen ... and I'm really gonna need a cigarette to fix the damage done." He emphasized the last two words by banging his hands on the table.   


"Oh, my God..." Lu said, sliding her hands down her face. "This is why I don't go anywhere with him!" she hissed to Sandy, on her left. Sandy smiled, and shrugged. She still thought this was pretty funny.   


Jennifer looked around, blushing nervously, and bent down to whisper, "Sir, this is the non smoking section!" hoping to encourage him to lower his voice.   


"Well by all means sister, let's get up!" He stood up. "Tally ho! Where's the smoking!" Jennifer looked as though she would cry, then bustled off. Bear traipsed after her, and left the girls to drag Legolas along as well.   


When they were finally settled, Lu just held up her hand while Bear was lighting a cigarette and whispered, "Four waters please?" Jennifer nodded, her lower lip wavering, and dashed off. With his cigarette lit, Bear slumped back into the chair, kicking his feet out under the table, purposely upsetting Sandy's properly crossed legs, (causing her to giggle) and sighed. "SO!" he started.   


"You! my little brother, will now shut up!" Lu instructed pointing at him. "You _know_ I hate sitting in smoking, I hate the smell of smoke," (by now Sandy had stopped digging in her purse for her Camels) "and I hate hate _hate!_ when you make a scene like that!"   


Bear looked a little guilty, but it didn't look like it was getting him down too bad. He decided it would be better not to say anything else. He rolled his eyes, and smoked in silence.   


Lu once again turned her attention to the boy before her. From a quick survey, she guessed uni-polar depression and perhaps some sort of anxiety disorder. She noted the fake glasses, wondered briefly and made a mental note. Perhaps a sign of telophobia, fear of perfection. Shaved head, sometimes a sign of boldness, but perhaps in this case a sign of insecurity or self humiliation. Obviously dressed in Bear's clothes, the sweater she had given Bear last Christmas, so maybe eremophobia, fear of being oneself. She had noticed the disgusting shoes, old and horrible. He might have an inibility to throw things away, a packrat, sometimes meaning that they get attached too easily to material things because of a lack of attachment to a human. So he was probably lonely, and needed someone, but had philophobia, fear of falling in love. So! he therefore must have been burnt by love. _Girl problems!_ she chirped to herself.   


She patted his arm to get him to look up at her. "What's your name?"   


Legolas stared at her. He did not want to tell her his name. He looked at Bear, then back at Lu. "Legolas," he sighed. This was just like a nightmare. He wondered what would have happened if the orcs had killed him and he had never come here.   


Lu smiled. "Hey!" she said cheerfully. "Bear and I are named after Tolkein characters too, did he tell you that?" Legolas looked at her, confused. He knew about Bear's name. "Yeah, his name is Beren and my name is Luthien. You know who they are right?" Legolas stared at her, and she felt herself blushing. She sort of wished she had not brought it up.   


Just then, there was an interruption. "Hey hey hey!" Bear called, forgetting to be quiet. There stood the guy who lived with him, the "DeeDee Ramone" character. He bowed, and Bear and Sandy clapped, with Sandy laughing. Lu rolled her eyes.   


"OK, who's this," she sighed.   


"Hey sis, this is the guy that lives with me!"  


"OK, who is he?"  


"I just said!" Bear said, happily. 

"What is his name, I mean," she asked, desparately wishing Bear had even half a brain.   


"Oh, uh, his name is, uh...." Bear paused and looked to the ceiling for help. Lu followed his eyes and stared back at him. What a numbskull! "Well, I don't know his name."   


"You're joking." 

"No, he really doesn't know," Sandy informed her.   


Lu looked hopeless. "Well the kid's standing right there! Ask him!"   


They all looked to the slim figure standing at their table, holding a platter of ice waters. He smiled, and began to give them their drinks. "Excuse me, but what's you're name?" Lu asked. With the four drinks down, he moved the platter, to reveal a name tag on his left pocket christianing him "BETTY."   


They all mouthed the name, "Betty."  


"Betty? THAT'S your NAME?" Lu hissed, tossing her arms up, like a hidden characteristic of Bear.   


"Oh, OK," Bear shrugged, and buried his face in his menu. "Betty......" he murmured. He glanced up for a second, marvelling that the infamous unlit cigaratte was gone, but then just realized it was behind his ear, in place of a pen or pencil. Lu and Sandy just stared at their strange waiter.   


"Betty" moved the platter again to show Lu his right pocket, which proclaimed him both "MYKEL" and "JEAN." He gave the girls a sly grin.   


Lu looked straight ahead. "Huh!" she said, shaking her head, then looking at her menu. Sandy just giggled, then also turned to her menu. "Betty Mykel Jean" wandered away disinterestedly.   


Bear glanced up. "Lu, what're you getting?"   


"Why."  


"Because I just wanna know!"  


"I'm not telling you."  


"But you always get something good!"  


"I know, and even if I tell you, you won't get it, and you'll still try to eat off my plate," Lu answered, never taking her eyes off her menu. Sandy covered up a smile.   


"But-"  


"Beren, the answer is _no_," Lu said firmly. Bear "hmph-ed" and rested his cigarette between his lips.   


Sandy looked from one to the other. "I'm getting lasagna," she offered.   


"That's good here," Lu commented, smiling at Sandy.  


Bear's head snapped up, and ashes from his cigarette flew about him. He plucked the cigarette out of his mouth and cried, "Well that's what _I'm_ getting then!"   


Lu smiled at him. "Well good for you. I'm getting something else."   


Bear threw up his arms.   


* * *

a/n: ok, sorry it has been a while, but i have been very busy with my jailed up boyfriend. i love him very much though. so i hope this isn't too crappy, mostly it's just small chitter chatter. oh well. i will get things moving. i have kind of thought of an ending. wow, huh! i hope i will remember it when i get there. wooo, i'm scatter brained. well by. kisses! love, sarah.  



	21. Assessing Legolas

a/n: well i'm back in class and wooooooo! it's april 24th my magical day! hopefully i will get a lot done. in april i am very very very manic and i can do anything _anything!_ so it's a lot of fun. i can type at the speed of light! so woooooo! here goes. 

* * *

At long last, "Betty Mykel," as Sandy insisted on calling him (Bear preferred "Betty", while Lu preferred to hope this nutcase didn't really live with Bear) returned to take their order. This mostly meant he stood patiently in front of the table, pen posed over pad, waiting for them to spit out their orders. Bear and Sandy ordered the lasagna, and Lu ordered a Caesar salad. They all looked expectantly at Legolas. He sensed this and raised his head.  


"Hey Doug, you gonna get something?" Sandy asked. Lu looked at her and wondered at the name "Doug" but knew with Bear's buddies you'd best not ask. "Doug?" she tried again. He stared blankly out the window, hypnotized by the passing cars.   


Lu began to worry. "Hey," she said gently, "do you want a salad?" Legolas looked at her. She had an odd face. Her eyes were too big. At least they didn't bulge out like some people's. He looked away. Lu looked helplessly at Betty. "Let's just get him a salad."  


Betty looked pleased, then proud, then actually began an elegant bow. Bear was all posed to clap, when Lu drew in a sharp breath, closing her eyes. The bow turned into a turn and Betty scampered away with the order. Suddenly, Bear put down his menu. (Betty had taken the others' menus but Bear had stubbornly pulled his away. Lu remembered how he had always liked to look at the pictures of food throughout the whole meal and smiled to herself.) "You know what I just realized?" Bear marveled incredulously.   


"What??" Sandy gave him back, just as awed. She had given up on her fear of Lu, who Sandy now viewed as just a smart, no-nonsense, straight edge version of Bear. She was still easily frustrated and easily annoyed.   


"I just _realized_," Bear hoarsely whispered, "that Betty isn't wearing his _sunglasses!_" Sandy ahhhhed in a "oh you're right" way, which pleased Bear. He puffed out his chest a little. He glanced at Lu to see if she had witnessed his epiphony, but then remembered she wouldn't know what he was talking about. Sure enough, she was just staring at him with a tight little smile. She shook her head at him, and he looked away, unembarrassed, yet detoured from the path of annoyance.   


Lu once again turned her attention to Legolas. "OK," she said. Legolas suffered himself to at least look in her general direction, as he had sensed she did not like being directly looked at. "Do you know why you're here?" Legolas waited a moment, then shook his head slightly. Lu looked sharply at Bear, who without even looking up from the pictures of food on the menu sensed this and shrugged shortly. Lu looked back at Legolas. "Well, Bear said that you had been pretty upset today, or..." she looked to Bear for help but he was mesmorized with the menu, "or maybe for a while?" she ended. Legolas stared at her.   


"Today," he said shortly.  


"Why were you upset?" Lu tried. Legolas' mouth dropped open a little, but no words wanted out, so he shut it again. Lu started, "Did you-" but he remembered an unanswered question and began speaking.  


"Who is God?" Lu looked taken aback, and opened her mouth but Legolas was quicker. "How many people follow him?" Lu's shoulder's went up in a shrug, and she felt speechless, with was a rare occurance. "Who is Jesus Christ, and why did he die? Who killed him?" At this point Bear and Sandy were silent too. Lu and Bear looked at each other and for the first time in years they were _both_ speechless. Bear's eyebrows knotted up and with his head shaking back and forth he finally mouthed 'I don't know.'   


Lu found her voice. She looked into Legolas' eyes, and they seemed a little less cloudy, and a lot more imploring. "Is all this about religion?"   


"Do you think me to be an atheist for asking these questions of you?" Legolas asked her.   


Lu was then a little surprised at his sentence structure. She found herself wondering, _Where did Bear get this friend?_ She smiled, despite of the situation. _Asking about religion and with impeccable grammar at that?_ She hm-ed. _Good deal!_ She then remembered his question. Before she could say a word, Bear ruined everything, by opening his big dumb mouth.  


"Hey, nothin wrong with bein an atheist, I am," Bear supplied grandly. _Maybe that'll make 'em feel better,_ he thought, then busied himself with looking at the desserts on the menu.   


"I'm agnostic," Sandy added, then glanced at the look on Lu's face and wished she hadn't. She pretended to suddenly be very concerned with the placement of the ice in her water, and herded it around the glass with her straw.   


Lu rubbed her temples. "Legolas," she started. He looked at her. To her, Legolas now seemed to be the only decent person at the table. It was all clear now, very clear: Bear had not understood that Legolas wanted to learn about religion, and so of course, when Bear doesn't understand something, he assumes the other person has a problem. Same with this situation. He simply made the incorrect assumption that Legolas was suicidal... _Wait a minute,_ she thought. How can you mistake curiousity of God for suicidal? She had seen the look on Legolas' face when they got here. He really was depressed. She pondered this, then mentally shrugged it off. You can be depressed when you think you're missing something in life. She smiled. She had liked the way that Legolas had worded his questions: 'Who is God?' So philosophical. Lu wondered if she could help him. When she had been 14 she went to two weeks of public high school before she knew it was brainless and stupid, even the advanced placement classes. So she requested she be put in a private school, and the closest one was Concordia Lutheren High School. She attended with pride. Bear, however, thoroughly enjoyed public high school. Lu rolled her eyes, then noticed she still had Legolas' attention.  


"OK, Legolas, how about this. I don't think we have enough time to get into this now, and I don't have a Bible anyway, so why don't we try to do this again?"  


Bear looked at Lu in shock. "What the hell are you doing?" Lu gave him a sharp, "you better shut up now" look. Bear ignored it. "Are you asking him out?"  


Lu felt uncomfortable, and embarrassed, and she felt her cheeks flame up. _Leave it to Bear to mess everything up and try to embarrass me,_ she thought hotly. "Oh, shut up, Bear, what is he, your boyfriend?" Insulting Bear gave her some dignity back, and her cheeks returned to their normal shade of Cover Girl foundation and powder. "I would just like to have another shot at talking to him about God." Bear rolled his eyes. "Oh quit it, just because you don't even know what the first book of the Bible is."   


Bear started, frustrated. He really didn't know. "Yes I do!" he said cooly, settling back in his seat and lighting up another cigarette.   


Lu waited. And waited. "OK, what is it?" she asked impatiently.   


Bear glanced up from his menu. "A-what?" he mumbled around his cigarette. Sandy giggled, and went back to trapping water in her straw, then watering the diminishing ice cubes. Bear went back to the menu.   


Lu waved away his ignorance. She glanced at Legolas, but he had his head down again. So she decided to amuse herself like the rest of the bunch, and began scrutinizing her fingernails. _Time to get them refilled,_ she pondered, looking at her mostly perfect manicure.   


Minutes later, a group of giggling girls walked up to the table. Lu rolled her eyes and muttered, "Here we go."   


They tapped Bear on the shoulder, and he started guiltily, ashamed that they had caught him neglecting his menu by discovering how many times he could touch his eyeball before it began to water. "Wha?" he grunted, ashing his cigarette. Sandy wrinkled her nose. _Posers,_ she thought disgustedly.   


The leader of the pack was obviously the non-giggling girl, who had made her way to the front of the group. "Hey, you're friends with the drummer in The Moodswings, right?"  


Bear had no clue what they were talking about. He started to poke his eyeball again, while staring at her. "Yeah," he spouted confidently.   


"Well they're having a show on Thur-..." she stopped. "What are you _doing?_"  


"None of your fuckin business, what are you talkin about, when's a show?" Bear said impaitently, still testing the toughness of his eyeball. Lu hid her face in her hands, and Sandy hid a giggle.   


The girl looked shocked, and started to say something, then walked away. They began to giggle after her, and one laid a flier on the table. "Sheep," Sandy muttered. Bear baaaa-ed after them loudly, ashed his cigarette and went back to his menu. Lu slid her hands down her face and looked to Legolas to see what he thought of all this. He had pulled a lighter out of his pocket and was flicking it on and off.   


"Do you smoke?" Lu asked, feeling that normal conversation with him felt a little taboo. But to her surprise he answered her, his eyes never leaving the flame.   


"No. I'm an elf," he said, even surprising himself with his bluntness. But then he wondered why he was so ashamed of this. Where was his pride? He felt terrible, and put the lighter on the table.   


It was then that Lu first noticed his ears. _Woah..._ she thought uneasily. "Oh, well, whatever!" she said, with artificial laughter, and she felt 13. She checked Legolas' face to see _what?_ and and he was just looking at her strangly. She cleared her throat. "Well," she said, "hm. Anyways," she tried. "How did you um..." she wondered where this was going. "What's with the uh..." she touched her own ears.   


"My ears?" Legolas supplied, in a voice you would use with a infant, slow and painful.   


She laughed nervously, "Uh, yeah..." Lu wanted to slap herself! She had never used um and uh so many times in one week, let alone one minute. She glanced at Bear and Sandy to see if they were getting this, but they were being intrigued by the many different combinations one could make with a drink, appetizer, meal, and dessert. She looked back at Legolas sheepishly.   


"That's how they've always been," Legolas told her, a little pointedly. She gave an 'oh' and returned furiously to her nails, rubbing them and examining them, fingers curled, fingers splayed, palm, back of hand, and so on. Legolas wondered how else his ears could be explained. Did they think he just stuck them on there? He looked at Luthien. She was dressed in black and white just like Shawn and the human who lived with Bear. "Betty." Once again, a second name. Maybe black and white meant that the person had an important part of society. Luthien seemed to think she did. Legolas could tell she probably thought she was 'helping.' He did not like to think of her as terribly wrong, but she was. Well, mostly. He did feel a little more like his old self. But what old self? The old self, the prince? Or the old self, the shamed bumbling homeless rake he had turned into before today? He felt so confused. Maybe it would be better if he and Luthien did meet again.   


Just then the food came. Betty brought it out on a large platter, set it out and dwindled away. He returned shortly after with a pitcher of water, filling first Bear's, and then Sandy's cup. Lu clapped her hand over the top of her's, but Betty smiled at her and poured the water between her fingers. "You!" she shrieked. "Creep!" she finished, surveying her wet hand. Bear laughed obnoxiously, and Sandy had to stifle her laughter, nearly suffocating herself. Legolas held up his glass, and Betty poured away, then slithered off to the kitchen. "Did any of you even notice that he _poured water on me?_" Lu said shrilly. Bear extinguished his cigarette, laughingly shook his head, and began to eat. Sandy concentrated on her lasagna as well and tried to ignore the situation.  


Legolas nodded, and said, "I did see this. I am sorry, Luthien."  


Lu glanced up from trying to dry her hand on the green napkin. No one ever called her Luthien. Always Lu or Dr. Stone. And Bear usually stuck with 'sis.' He looked at her too. She had a feeling he what she was thinking. But it was true! No one ever called her Luthien. But Legolas did. Legolas. Legolas. She got lost inside a thought, but worked her way out to answer him. "Oh....well that's all right, it wasn't your fault." She smiled, and he smiled a little back, then continued to pick at his salad. Lu felt as though she had made a major breakthrough. She continued to dry her hand, until she happened to see her watch. "Oh no!" she cried. They all looked at her. "Oh, I have to be back in about 10 minutes, lunch is almost over. Let me go pay, and I'll leave. Nice to meet you, Legolas, Sandra!" She jumped up and ran right into Satan, who was walking by with Rita.   


"Hey Lu, what's going on!" he said happily.   


"Phillip, Rita," she said, acknowledging them with a nod apiece, then rushed off. Rita sauntered over to where Lu had been sitting, and sat down slowly. Phil stood over her, resting his hands on her shoulders. He nodded towards Sandy, then Bear.   


"Dude, why won't your sister stop calling me Phillip?" he said, looking pained.   


"Dunno, but she called Sandy Sandra, and I don't think that's even 'er name, is it?" Bear asked.  


"Nope," she said. It was actually Alexandra, but she didn't think it was necessary to mention that. She just hoped Lu never found that out. She looked down to catch Bear eating a forkful of lasagna off her plate. She looked at him with a questioning smile. He shrugged, and reached over to grab Lu's plate of half-eaten salad, then began to scarf it down while scanning through the menu again.   


"Well, wish I could stay, but lunch's almost over," Phil sighed. "You wanna stay here?" he asked Rita. She nodded, smiling.   


"Sure, Phillip," she mocked.   


Phil rolled his eyes. "Well, I guess I'll go pay and leave." He gave her a kiss on the cheek. "You guys watch her," he told the rest of him. Rita looked slightly annoyed, then smiled as she watched him walk away.   


"What a nerd," she commented lovingly. "So what are you guys up to?" she asked, quite enthusiastic. Legolas shrugged. "Hey, Doug, you shaved your head!" He smiled, and she sensed something was wrong, but didn't want to ask in front of everyone. She then noticed how dressed up everyone was. "What's the occasion? You guys get all dressed up just for me?" she asked charmingly.  


"NO," Bear said, "for Lu, cos," he then stopped short, gratefully catching himself before he spilled why they were having lunch with Lu. "Cos she's all," Bear waved his hands around, indicating who knows what. Sandy laughed.  


"What are we sposed to watch you for?" Sandy asked, with a sunny smile. Rita smiled back, not really knowing what to say.   


"AH! Ahem!" Bear drew attention to himself conspicuously. The girls looked at him.   


"Hey, sonny, you got somethin to say?" Rita asked, smiling and cocking her head to one side.   


"Oh, well," he acted confused, and waved an arm in her direction, "I thought _you_ had something to say." Bear winced. _Yeah, I sound like a fuckin dumb ass,_ he thought.  


"Well, I guess so..." Rita paused, sounding a little unsure of herself, which was rare. Bear's eyes widened, surprised that his plan had worked. "Well, cos I'm preggers," she said, trying to sound more confident than she felt. She smiled, trying to pull off a Marie. How Marie could say anything she wanted and sound completely sure of every word, Rita had never figured out. She only hoped that she sounded calmer than she felt.   


"Oh wow!" Sandy exclaimed genuinely. "Congratulations!"  


"Thanks," Rita said. _It was nothing,_ she added comically in her head. She looked down at her tummy, just beginning to look a little more than chubby. Next to her thin arms and legs, it seemed ridiculously obvious that she was pregnant. She then glanced at Bear who was grinning like a madman. "Bear, what're you smilin about?"  


"Oh, man, Rita!" he exploded. "This is just so big! I can't believe that some of my best friends're going to have a baby!" He looked to Legolas. "Idn't it frickin bad ass?" Legolas smiled blankly. "YEAH man! I mean, wow! A little kid, one of us!" he babbled.   


Rita furrowed her eyebrows in mock anger, though her smile remained. "Hey, don't make it such a big deal. Dude, Everlease's had a kid for what, three years? Why don't you freak about that? I mean, she's you're age. A little more excitement there right?"   


"Yeahhh," Bear drawled reluctantly. "But.... It's not the same, cos this is like, two of my friends reproducing!" Rita rolled her eyes.   


"Bear? Reproducing? Come _on_," she said.   


"Well what I mean is that you an Satan are like family, and we don't know Ryan's dad from fuckin Adam."  


"Bear if you don't watch your mouth a little you are NOT going to get to see your 'nephew' or whatever, so you better clean it up, sonny," Rita said firmly, waving a finger at him.   


Bear looked down at the table. "Sorry, Rita," he mumbled. Legolas recognized this as a nearly mother/son situation, and glanced at Sandy to see if she saw it too. Sandy only looked as though she felt bad for both Bear and Rita.   


Sandy was wondering how she could lighten up the conversation. "So um, whatcha gonna name the baby? Do you know whether it's a boy or girl?" she inquired.   


Rita smiled, then thought of what a sweet little girl Sandy was. She hoped Bear would keep 'er. _Maybe she can keep him on the right track,_ she thought. "Well, I think it's too soon to tell or something, well," Rita realized she didn't really know what she was talking about. "Either way, we dunno." She smiled dreamily. "But.... We're thinking about what we would want to name the baby either way." Bear decided this was not very intresting, so he lost himself in the menu again. "Well, for a boy, we thought about naming it Ike," Rita paused, and Sandy giggled appropriately, "but then we thought that that might be a little cruel. 'Hmm,' we thought, 'Ike O'Connor. A little testy.' So, then we decided on Freddie."   


"Aww," Sandy said, "I like that name."  


"Yeah!" Rita said, glad to have an audience other than Phil for the baby naming endeavors. "Yeah, so Freddie. And for a girl, we weren't sure. We were thinking about Dinah, or Darla."  


"Oh! You know what would be cute?" Sandy exclaimed. Rita looked interested so she continued. "Dinah Jane, or Darla Jane. Cos then it's like balanced between interesting and plain, so it's just right!"  


"Oh, wow!" Rita cried. "I like Darla Jane a lot. We hadn't even thought about middle names." Sandy looked pleased.  


Just then Bear threw down his menu. "OK, hey, Sandy, you ready to go?"   


Sandy glanced around the table, "Um, sure! But uh, what about Doug?" Bear looked pained.   


Rita sensed a excluding situation coming on, and thought quickly. "Well I was just about to go to Starbucks, so you wanna go with me?" she asked Legolas. Legolas shrugged.   


"Well we're leavin," Bear announced, and stood up, stretching. Sandy looked back and forth between Legolas and Rita. Rita smiled and gave her a half nod, so as to tell her not to worry about Legolas. Sandy smiled back and got her purse. "Well bye," Bear said shortly, and lumbered off. Sandy ran after him, calling bye over her shoulder.   


"Well, Padre?" Rita said, smiling at Legolas. "You ready to go?" Legolas shrugged, and started to stand, but Rita trapped his arm on the table, and he sat back down. "Hey, there somethin wrong?" she asked him. Legolas thought about anything he might say to her. Nothing would be right. Why would she believe him? He shook his head.  


"No, really, Rita, I am fine," he replied. He found that he still felt guilty when he did not say Lady before a woman's name. But he knew that no one else here said it. So he didn't either.   


Rita looked unsatisfied, but let go of his arm. "Well, I'm sure happy to hear that, Douglas." She stood up. "Well, let's go." They stood up and headed for the door. It was there that they were headed off by "Betty," who bowed, and handed them each a mint. Rita grabbed hers, unwrapped it and popped it in her mouth. "Thanks, Betty...or Mykel, or Jean, whatever. Thanks." Legolas nodded to him, and crammed the mint in the pocket of his khakis, next to the lighter he had transfered there eariler.   


Rita headed for the Camero, and Legolas followed. "Well, Padre, here we are again," she called to him, when they were standing at their respective doors. Legolas squinted back at her through the wind. She began to unlock the doors. "Well let's not get in tha middle of any more wrecks, right?" Legolas nodded solemnly, and they got in the car. Rita looked at him.   


"Man," she said, beginning the process of starting the car. Rev. "You really are-" rev "a trip." The engine turned over, and she pulled away.  


* * *

a/n: sorry it took me so long to finish that. mostly i just finished the whole thing in an hour, but didn't get around to the last 2 paragraphs till today. well, eat it up, kiddies. please leave reviews, if you enjoy it. thanks!!!!  



	22. When in Starbucks

a/n: ok, i just finished chapter 21. i wonder how long this story would be if it was in a word document. i'm gonna have to find that out. cos i'm thinking about posting 3 more stories. let me give you the scenario for them.  


1. Corgan and his wife have just been in a car wreck, and Corgan finds himself in hell. The devil makes him a deal: he will allow Corgan to go back to his sophomore year in high school when he met his wife, with only one catch. Meanwhile, she has to go on without Corgan, trying to make a new life.   
2. Runaway, homeless 21 year old girl turns up at a high school, and signs herself up for senior classes. She finds a home with a guy she met at her new job, who is gay. They are having a lot of fun but what will happen when the school and students find out she is not who she says she is?  
3. The House is the story of a quiet cult who gather their members by picking up homeless druggies, cleaning them up, and putting them to work. Surviving off of cigarettes and Ramen noodles, they are slowly building power, and working towards their ultimate goal...  


oh well, tell me what you think. you might have noticed that these have nothing to do with tolkien. right. but the character of bear lives on... i actually derived bear's character from the character of corgan in the first story. so you can check that out, with a more tactful and SUPRISE! more mature bear! haha. oh well. here you go!  


* * *

In the car, Rita sensed that Legolas might not want to talk, so she put it on her favourite station, KTRU, the college station. "Oh, wow!" said, turning it up. "It's the Japan Cakes."   


Legolas' eyes widened as he stared at the buttons and dials and numerical characters on the little panel she was fussing with. A slight lute, strange sounding, some odd drums and crashing sounds, and a strange stringed instrument. But it had an interesting pattern, and though he did not enjoy the sounds it made, he was fascinated by the turns the "song" took, faster, slower, moving higher up the scale, then tumbling back down. These "Japan Cakes" must be a wonderful race of people (even if they had named themselves after some sort of food.) He wondered if maybe they were miniture people, playing behind that panel. _No, that's impossible,_ he thought. _It must be magic._   


Soon after, they pulled into another parking lot. Legolas dismantled himself from the seatbelt, and got out of the car. Rita hopped out, and then cried out in dismay. "Aw, dammit!!!!" she whined. Legolas came around the side of the car to see what was the matter. She looked up at him, then pointed to the bottom of her long grey skirt. "Lookit! I shut the door on my skirt, and got it all dirty!" Legolas spied a few specks of dirt near the hem of her skirt. He still tried to share in her malcontent, and shook his head as if he were unhappy with the skirt's behaviour. Rita was shaking her head as well. "Who knew pregnancy made you dumb." She took her hands off her hips, and walked towards the Starbucks door. Legolas ran lightly after her.   


They got to the counter, and Legolas felt a warm wave of familiarity as he saw Marie on the other side of the bar. _She must work as a barmaid here at this tavern,_ Legolas thought. She smiled at him and Rita. "Hey, darlin!" Rita greeted her, then said in a low voice, "How about a hook up today, huh?"  


Marie shook her head and whispered, "Naw, I got my manager here today, she'll kill me."   


Rita wrinkled her nose and nodded. "OK, then, I guess I'll have a uh..." She squinted her eyes at the large menu over Marie's head, then squinted at Legolas. "Am I going blind?" She squinted around the place, with Marie laughing. "Ah! I'm going blind! Crap, I can't wait till I get my new glasses." At the mention of her glasses, she slid them up on her nose, and opened her eyes wide. "OH! OK, I'll have a uh, Tazoberry things, what're they called..." Marie nodded, and called over her shoulder, and Legolas watched as the other maids began to mix the drink. He wondered if they had any wine worth drinking. He doubted it. But Rita was rather logical, perhaps she knew what she was doing.   


"May I have one too?" he asked her. Rita smiled.  


"Certainly." Rita started to order, but watched as Marie did it her own way.   


Marie walked over to the other counter where made drinks were set. "Hey, Becky, is this a tall?" she asked another girl. The girl, Becky, shrugged, and answered that it was. "Well, she wanted a venti." Becky shrugged again, and set about working on another one. Marie pushed the drink to Legolas. "You can have this one, Douglas, since it was a mess up," she said, stressing the last two words, and giving Rita and Legolas a wink.   


They wandered off with their drinks a minute later, and Rita grabbed Legolas' arm. "Look, Doug, they're leavin the comfy chairs! Hurry!" She dragged him over to where an older couple was getting up, and sat down right after they left the 2 foot radius surrounding the chairs. Legolas sat down across from her. "Ahhhhh," she sighed, putting her feet up on the table and sipping her drink. She stole a sideways glance at Legolas. "So what's up, Doug?" Legolas smiled back at her, as she looked comical to him. He tried to keep up his wavering mood by keeping up a conversation.   


"I would rather hear about what is going on with you and your life, Rita," he announced, trying his drink. It was sweet, and cold, and he was reminded of the "ice cream."   


Rita looked up at the ceiling and shut her eyes. "Oh, Lordy." She looked at him again. "OK, let's do, then, I guess I need someone to talk to besides Marie and Phil." She stirred the whipped cream into her drink with her straw. "Well first off, I'm a litte worried about money, cos I'm quitting my job in a few months, and I don't know if I'll go back to work after the baby is born."   


"What is your job?" Legolas asked. He wondered why a woman would be working in the first place if she had a husband to work for her.   


"Oh, funny you ask, I sell dirt," she told him bemusedly, her eyes wide and a smile on her face. Sure enough, the usual jest about her profession had the desired effect on Legolas, as he looked quite stunned. She looked back down at her drink still smiling. "Yeah, I'm in sales in construction, and I sell dirt to people who're buildin houses and don't have enough dirt packed down on the uh," she tried to show him with her hands, "the uh, foundation, oh you know." She gave up, as Legolas gave her a polite nod to relieve her of her explanatory duties. "Yeah, anyways, they told me they would give me a leave of absense thingy, like a pregnancy leave, or whatever." She paused, and held onto on of her fingers, and looked off into space. "Idn't there another word for that? That sounds... hm." She waved her hand around, to dismiss the ex-ensuing obligitory practice of thinking hard.   


"Is it that you would say you enjoy your work?" Legolas asked her, honestly wondering what she would say.  


"I-" Rita started, then retracted her speech. _Do I?_ she wondered. "Hm," she pondered aloud. "I dunno, I never really thought about it." She tried to quickly list the positve and negative aspects of her work in her head, then answered. "Well I like the other girl I work with, Brenda, and I don't mind my boss...he's kind of a jerk but once you get used to it, it's more funny than anything." She shrugged. "I guess I do... I mean, I guess I'll miss it... Well I'll miss Brenda, but I can always have her over outside of work." Rita shrugged again. "Nope! Guess I won't miss it too bad!!" she finished, sipping on her drink and smiling.   


It was quiet for a few minutes and Legolas actually felt at peace. He felt he could sleep. He took off the fake glasses, put them on the table by Rita's feet. Just as he was sitting back and about to close his eyes, Rita spoke again. "So anyways, there's the money thing, and I don't think I'm going to go back to work. Phil works on computers and him and his friend Mike are thinking of starting their own computer repair shop. I mean, I think that would be good money, but they've gotta get it off the ground first, and I don't want to be in a financially experimental stage while we've got a kid to support." She paused and stared blanky into space. "WOW, a kid, that just sounds so strange!"  


Legolas smiled. Even in this strange world, a woman's first child was an important event. It made him feel better to recognize a common moral. "How long have you been married to Satan?"  


Rita snapped out of it and looked at him, then began laughing. "I still think it's so funny that people call him Satan," she said shaking her head. "Three years this February." She giggled and shook her head again. "But man... Do you realize how freaked out everyone at my school was when I told them I was dating Satan? For God's sake, I was at a Lutheran school. I actually think that's around the time Lu stopped hanging out with me. But that's OK, cos I still hung out at her house cos of Bear." Legolas nodded. "That's actually how I met Phil. I was at Bear an Lu's house, studying with Lu for a test in World Religion. I was 16..." Rita trailed of dreamily, a little smile on her face. Legolas smiled too. "Bear was over there with Phil, cos Phil was in his Geography class and they were cutting up the newspaper for a project, since Phil's family didn't take the newspaper." Rita pushed her glasses up on her nose, and looked at Legolas. "Aww, anyhow, we were together five years before we got married, and we've been married almost three. Eight years with that love."  


Legolas smiled at her. _She does seem so happy,_ he thought. He actually found that he was interested in the relation of one friend to another. Bear and Phil had known each other through their education, as had Rita and Lu. He decided to ask further. "How do you all know the others, such as Marie and Jane, and Shawn?"   


"Oh--well, Shawn," Rita sputtered, waving a hand at Legolas, and sipping her drink. "He's actually my cousin." Legolas raised his eyebrows. "Yeah, I've known that little bugger all m'life. An if you're wondering, _yes_, he has _always_ been that strange," she said with wide eyes, nodding to emphasize the point. "And Jane an Marie, oh, hmmm..." She thought for a little while. "I dunno. I think they were a package deal with Bear. At least Marie was." Rita wrinkled her nose, causing her glasses to slip down. "Jane was a package deal with Marie." Legolas gave a short laugh, and Rita giggled, pushing up her glasses. "Oh, well, anyways--" She shut her eyes. "I feel like I'm supposed to be somewhere." She sat back. "I wonder.  


"NO! Helping my Granma buy groceries!" Rita yelped, jumping up in alarm. She looked at Legolas. "I gotta go! Marie can take you home!" She grabbed her purse and her drink, and rushed towards the door. "Bye, Doug!" Legolas raised his hand to wave but she was gone.   


Legolas sat back in the chair, crushed. _Now what am I to do?_ he wondered. He found that he was a little tired. Pulling his feet up in the chair, he found that it was not exactly the epitome of comfort but it would do; it was certainly more comforatble than the ground. He closed his eyes -- _Why? I never close my eyes to sleep!_ -- but he was already falling into a deeper level of rest. Rapid eye movement, then a dream.  


_a dream  
_

-- the basement what is a basement? it was dark like a dungeon but he knew where he was he was in cody's house who is cody? but he knew who cody was as well and they were listening to yes that was cody's favourite band he remembered who was cody? cody was tall and had messy highlighted hair with a pinched face who was he? he was a good friend, a best friend the sounds of yes the sounds of his voice locked inside the mother earth to close the cover all the interest shown they won't hide hold they won't tell you to turn one another to the sign at the time float your climb_ cody laughing at what? the t.v. what is a tv? short for television what's a television? but he knew and they were laughing and they were talking about what they would preach at the masses tomorrow what masses? but he knew what masses the masses that devoured every word that he said and the money they gave to cody and cody played guitar on the other side of the outdoor mall and what was an outdoor mall? but it was obvious to him, obvious and yes still droned on in the background, on repeat on and you and i over and over, all ten minutes and whatnot seconds _and you and i climb, crossing the shapes of the morning and you and i reach over the sun for the river and you and i climb, clearer, towards the movement and you and i called over valleys of endless seas_ cody yelling shit blue and red lights outside the window wells --  
_

Legolas sat up suddenly, his breath uneven and short. He placed his hand on his forehead, hoping to diminish the swimming effect that was drowning his thoughts. _Who is Cody?_ he thought, with a true fear.   


"Doug, what's wrong? You look like shit!"   


Legolas looked up and into the round face of Jane, looking down on him. She was chewing rudely. "What have you got in your mouth?" he asked, in spite of his spell.   


Jane popped his arm. "Gum, dipshit," she told him, flopping down in the chair where Rita had sat. Legolas stared at her in shock and disbelief. Jane followed this by rolling out her little tongue like a red carpet for royalty; upon it sat a wad of white matter. She then snapped her little mouth shut and began to examine her nails. Legolas sat up straight and put on his sternest face.  


"Where I am from, a maid does not dare lay her hands on a lord," he informed her.   


Jane rolled her eyes. "Where ya from, Camp David?" She examined her hands, with her fingers fanned out and hands held far away. "And I don't know who told you I was still a maid, but I gave that up... shit... years ago." She petted her nails and looked out the window disinterestedly. "And p.s. pal, you keep callin your self a lord and you're gonna get your fuckin brains blew out."   


Legolas gaped at her. _Why would she so blatantly dismiss her not being a maiden any longer? What a bold and horrible woman!_ he thought to himself in horror.   


Jane didn't seem too alarmed, still examining her nails and muttering. "Shit, the day I clean another frickin house is the day hell is gonna freeze over." Legolas rolled his eyes and stared bleakly out the window next to him. Jane glanced up from her hands and stared at him, quite indiscreetly. "OK, you little prick, what's the prob?" Legolas turned slowly from the window to Jane.   


There was something agitating, very annoying about her. He dismissed it as the "gum," and lessened his stare. "I don't understand you," he told her, not caring how rude he came across. "You've got that wretched 'gum' in your mouth and until you take it out I _won't_ understand you." She knotted her eyebrows but before she could say a word, he added, "And I won't even _try._" Jane's eyebrows burrowed further and she made a horrific face at him.   


* * *

i know it's been forever since i updated, but as i've gotten 2 reviews in the last week, i think you guys (if only one of you, or two) have persuaded me to give this another try. the chapters might not be as long as they were in the beginning, but they'll get better. i promise! 

* * *

Legolas shrugged, and looked back out the window. He had decided that enough was enough. This demonic lady could take her disrespect elsewhere.   


Finally, Jane came to the conclusion that her gum was getting old anyway, and she wanted to know what had crawled up Doug's ass and died. Suddenly, Legolas jumped back as the gum appeared on the window pane closest to his face. His glance tore in the direction of Jane, who had thrown her head back with laughter. Legolas sat back in the chair and laced his long fingers across his chest. "What's cookin', Sam?" Jane asked, leaning forward and grinning crookedly.  


"I hope, _Jane_," Legolas stated crisply, "that you do not address everyone as rudely as you do I. But Jane, I have this haunting notion that you do. And another thing, don't call me Sam, and for all that is good, _please_ stop calling me Doug." He straightened up, and put the fake glasses back on. "I'd prefer you call me Legolas."   


At this, Jane burst into a fit of knee slapping laughter. To Legolas it seemed her gales of obnoxious braying were bouncing off the low ceiling and echoing through his brain. He immediately came to the solution slapping her. Before the execution of this event, Marie had waltzed up the the pair, carrying what Legolas assumed was a broom, and a device for holding that which was swept. "Hey kids, did you see where Rita ran off to?" she asked good naturedly, while abusing the carpet in front of them, raking over it over and over again.  


Jane shrugged, and fiddled with her lip ring. "Grandmother's," Legolas replied, his words like a vacuum. In his mind he was now on the idea of strangling Jane. Such a wreckless creature of filth should never continue to exist. His hands formed balls, and tightened until his knuckles were white.   


"You OK, Doug?" Marie inquired of him, dropping a hand on him and rubbing his nearly bald head.   


Legolas smiled tightly, and shoved his fists deep into the crevasses of the seat upon which he sat. "I am actually feeling quite distressed," he admitted, with as much patience as he could possibly exert. He had just had a very confusing dream, he was ready to murder Jane, and now he, (a prince!), was being patronized by someone he had earlier respected. He stood suddenly, and Marie jumped back a bit.  


"Whoa, there, boy," she cried good naturedly, but her face was a little concerned.   


"I am going outside," Legolas announced, and walked towards the doors that led to the porch, leaving murmuring behind him. He pushed the doors with more might than needed, and they swung out in accordance with the overexertion, one of them hitting a metal trash can with a satisfying *BANG*. Legolas strolled over to a table, and sat down. Suddenly he put his head in his hands... he had an excruciating pain in his temples. _Why am I allowing my patience to run so thin?_ he wondered to himself. _Shouldn't I be above humans in their tolerance for ignorance?_ He thought of Marie, and Shawn... And Bear... He shook his head and smiled a bit... _Never mind, Bear doesn't belong on any list that is measuring high levels of patience._ Legolas smiled sadly. _But perhaps high levels of tolerance,_ he thought affectionately. Bear had been very tolerant and kind with him, and the realization of this brought his pride down quite a bit.   


* * *

a/n: sorry this took half a year or longer to get up and it sucks. but give me time.. i have to get back in the swing of things. ok, well, kisses! love, sarah. 


	23. Brian & Rosalind

a/n: well, here i am, trying to start things up again. wish me luck, i'll need it! ^o^ !! love, sarah.  


* * *

After sitting for a while, Legolas felt someone nudge his shoulder. He looked up, into the face of a stranger. "Hey, bud, you mind if I sit down?" the man said.   


Legolas looked around the porch, and quickly counted six unused tables, and ten unused chairs. He stared back at the man. "Hey, why not?" he said bleakly, doing what he felt justice to the colloquial that he had picked up.   


"'Kay," the other said, and scooted a chair up to him. "I'm Brian."   


Legolas sighed deeply. _When will I no longer be forced to meet new humans!_ his mind screamed. Brian seemed a little younger than Rita, Jane, Bear and the others... maybe about 17 years old. He had a mess of curly black hair, and was scrawny, even for a young man. He was dressed nicely though, much simliar to Legolas (though the sweater seemed a little more worn), and Legolas recognized his shoes--Chucks, Bear had called them. "I'm Legolas."   


"Cool name, bud. You into Tolkien?" Brian laughed, and nudged Legolas' shin with his foot in a jesting fashion.   


Legolas decided he was going to have to do some investigating into the this Tolkien character. But some other time. He liked Brian's lightheartedness. "I suppose you could say that. You into Chucks?" he asked nonsensically, using the same ill grammar that Brian had used.   


Nonetheless, Brian seemed pleased with this. "Yeah, bud, I am!" He laughed heartily, and folded up in his chair in such a way that seemed highly uncomfortable. However, it seemed to him at ease. "I'm also into chicks, but I can't seem to buy those at the store for $26.99!" Brian found his own statement highly amusing, and threw back his head in laughter.   


Legolas didn't understand what Brian was saying, but appreciated the humour in the tone of his voice, and laughed along with Brian. He figured Brian would be an alright person to be inquisitive with, and therefore asked as Brian's laughter diminished: "What do you mean by chicks?" He conscienciously hid his nervousness with a big goofy grin worthy of a hobbit. _I wonder how he will take that!_ Legolas thought anxiously.  


Brian chuckled and threw up his hands in such a way that reminded Legolas of Bear. "I know, right?" Brian then sat back, put his legs down, laced his fingers and looked up at the sky. "Well," he began, as though he were ready to tell Legolas the story of how Melcore fell from grace, "I kind of used to dig emo girls, but you know, you get all into this crap with the obsession with the pop culture, and the trendy "MTV EMO" fashion, and la di frickin da, I mean, how many pairs of baseball socks can a girl own? One day Lola comes into the bedroom in a shirt and her baseball socks, and I didn't know whether to jump her or ask her what her batting average was, you know?" he ended, shaking his head, arms outstretched, and his eyes wide, focused on Legolas. "You know?"  


Legolas looked back at him, totally lost. "I know, right?" he quickly substituted, stealing the phrase from across the table. He floundered for a sentence or two to back it up. "I have a friend who tells me I am this fabled "emo," just for the garb I am in," he indicated the Chucks, to which Brian smiled, and indicated his own, "and these," at which he motioned to the glasses.   


Brian turned his head sideways a bit and squinted at Legolas. "Those look like some fake glasses that my sister has." He smiled. "Are those really for your poor vision, bud?"  


Legolas sniffed. "I have perfect vision. I am only wearing these as part of a disguise for my friend's sister." Brian's grin widened and he raised his eyebrows. "But," Legolas felt alarmed at the prospect of looking foolish, "she was going to think I was a KKK-er if I didn't do something quick!" Legolas stopped suddenly, and felt taken aback by his own use of the Common Tongue. _I have to get away from this place before I began to speak the tongue too well,_ he thought decrepidly.   


"Workin' it for the ladies huh?" Brian jested.  


"I do not know," Legolas said honestly. He had no clue what Brian was talking about.   


"I guess so. You would kinda look like an Aryan poster boy without the feel of scream-o runnin' through your veins, via Chuck Taylor's of course, of course... You aren't a triple K are ya?" he asked a little nervously.   


Legolas sensed a slight rise of fear in the boy, and marveled now at Bear's desparation to move his image away from that of these people. _Is this how people would have reacted to me, had I not made the transformation to "emo"?_ he wondered. He shook his head slightly, and said truthfully, "I have no ideas about what you speak of." Legolas figured the best way to let these folk know he was not of them was to be very honest with them in his ... he supposed ... ignorance of their society and culture. Perhaps then they would understand that he really was who he said he was.   


Brian looked taken aback, and pasted a very odd expression on his face, but still maintained his happy-go-lucky smile. "Whatever, bud." He looked off into the distance. "I wish I didn't have any ideas about that... or anything to do with neo-nazism." He waved a hand at Legolas. "How do you feel about Hitler and all the rest?" he asked openly.   


"I acutally do not know anything about Hitler. But I would be indebted to you if you would tell me a story worth listening to," Legolas laughed. "I am quite tired of hearing nonsense all day long."   


Brian lost his smile momentarily, and looked at Legolas with a serious face. "Well," he began, "I'm Jewish." He paused to study Legolas' face, who nodded (Legolas understood that this must be a race.) "And as you probably know, the holocaust was a nice little idea of Hitler's..." Brian's voice faded a little, and he looked away. Legolas was suprised to see how forlorn he looked. "Six million Jews..." He shook his head sadly.   


Legolas listened intently as Brian told the tale of the Holocaust, and the millions of his race that were lost only 60 years ago. Hitler was a cruel man who believed in superiority of race, and who invented many revolting ways to kill the "Semetic" people (as they were also called.) Legolas felt himself developing a hate for this resentful Adolf Hitler.   


"And he was a real pansy, you know?" Brian was saying. "If you ever read anything about him... dude, he's twisted. He's all girly, and wanted his women to like, kick him and stuff."   


Now it was Legolas' turn to be taken aback. "You say he wanted females to -- kick him?"   


"That's what I say... and what the books say, and what the women say." Brian looked pleased, and nodded. "Faggot!" he sang obnoxiously, then looked a little guilty. "I mean..." he covered quickly and very ineptly. _Crap,_ he thought, _That guy could be gay!_ Brian put his head in his hands and winced.   


Legolas looked at him curiously. "What is the matter?" he asked, a little distracted by the mention of a log. What would a fag of wood have to do with anything?  


Brian felt very relieved. "Uh, nothing." He shrugged, and the smile came back. He couldn't quite remember what he'd been talking about. "Umm.. so anyways, there's this girl at school that I like, named Rosalind, you know, like Romeo's Rosalind?" he leaned forward and rapped the back of his hand against Legolas' knee and winked, to which Legolas accompanyingly (but tightly) smiled. "Yeah... she's a hottie. I discovered her today, cos I saw her sitting at lunch all by herself, reading a poetry book, I think she said it was something Corso? Yeah, Gregory Corso, that was it! Anyways, I sat with her at lunch, and we're both seniors, she likes to read, play the cello, and work on cars," Brian paused here to throw out his arms, "and tell me that's not the most awesome thing you've ever heard! And also!" he looked very excited about this, "she's not dating anybody, and said she's never had a boyfriend! I was really suprised, cos she's pretty cute."   


Legolas was sorry to have parted from interesting tales of war and heritage only to rearrive at inane babble. But he felt obliged to Brian, since he had told such a sorrowful but intriguing story, so he tried to maintain a look of interest. "What does she look like?" he asked politely.   


"Well," Brian began with a flourish, "She's got long blonde hair that's real wavy, and she has big brown eyes, and real pale skin..." Brian squinted off into the distance, as though seeing her in the waves of cars that were raging behind the porch on "Kuykendahl" (Legolas was becoming quite annoyed with this seemingly universal characteristic of men, squinting off into nothing). "She's kinda _Gothic_, you know," Brian confided, his eyebrows raised in such a fashion to lead Legolas to believe that he was in false remorse, and had a dash of morbid curiousity. Legolas wondered what was so fascinating about being Gothic, and became truly interested in the description of this culture.  


"How so do you mean by Gothic, Brian?" Legolas inquired.  


Brian sat back and acquired a very proud look on his face. "Oh well, not the damn teeni-goth you see all over the place these days. It's like, the real thing, you know? You know?" he once more rapped a hand against Legolas' knee, as though to include him in a joke. Legolas smiled, hoping he would continue. He did, quite obligingly. "Anyways, she's into wearing layers of skirts, like lacey white ones that make her look like she's from like 1895 or somethin' and-"  


Legolas took this opportunity to ask about the year. "You mean, from a different age?" he interrupted, to try to clarify for himself what year it might be.  


Brian was undaunted. "Yeah, somethin' like that. Anyways," he continued obliviously, "and dude, you should see her waist! She does that corsetting thing, like even when she's at school, she always has it on, and her waist is like twenty-one inches around!! It's wild!" Brian insisted.  


From the sounds of it, (whatever _it_ was), Legolas believed that it must be truly wild, and accommodated the wildness of the event by looking alarmed.  


"But hey, bud, ain't nothing wrong with that, I mean, it's her body, and if she wants to squish it all up, that's her business," Brian shrugged, but didn't look all that upset. Instead, he made a small oval with his hands, with fingers not quite touching. Legolas stared. Brian waited. Legolas stared. "I'm talking waist size like this big, bud," Brian emphasized, shaking the imaginary waistline in front of Legolas.   


Legolas feigned a look of amazement satisfying enough for Brian to banish the hand-waist from him. _It is though an interesting feat of this Gothic culture to all desire to have inhumanely small waists,_ Legolas thoughtfully turned over in his head as Brian charged on with his description of Rosalind.  


"I mean, she's not all that large anyways, she's a pretty small girl, but woooo," Brian sighed and stared off into space. "She's a pretty girl." He smiled and Legolas sighed. Waves of boredom were ready to carry him into the ocean of apathy. Brian suddenly snapped back into himself. "Anyways, we talked about eating lunch together from now on."   


Out of curiosity, Legolas felt to compelled to ask: "What school of thought is it that you attend?"  


Brian chuckled. "I wonder sometimes... Well we go to Klein, if that's what you mean."   


Legolas wondered what was familiar about that name, and remembered that Sandy had mentioned she was from Klein. "Are you acquainted with someone named Sandy?"   


A look of warmth came over Brian's face. "Yeah, I got a sister named Sandy, what's your Sandy look like?" he asked, quite jolly, even off the topic of his beloved Rosalind. He then interrupted Legolas and suggested, "Blonde hair, about yea high, works at the Ren Fest?"   


Legolas smiled. "Yes, that would be Sandy."  


"Cool, then, bud!" Brian exclaimed. "You know my big sister!"  


Legolas smiled again, warmly. It was quite interesting to see the difference between brother and sister. In fact, the more he thought of it, he could not imagine Sandy, so full of laughter, having anything to do with the hardships of the Jewish culture's past. _Perhaps they are not fully blood related,_ Legolas thought, but knew it impolite to ask such a thing.   


Instead, Brian went ahead and succeeded himself from the rules of etiquette by guessing what Legolas was thinking. "Yeah, she doe'n't exactly look like my twin, does she..." Legolas nodded meekly, shamed that Brian had been able to read his face so well. "Well, I'm not gonna lie to ya, she's not my blood sister, of course, I mean, it seems like it, I love'r like a sister, and we definitely fight like brother and sister," Brian paused here to laugh, and Legolas accommodatingly smiled. "But actually, her mom died when she was pretty little I think, and her dad married my mom, since my mom and dad got divorced when I was little. Anyways, so then her dad died, too, which is pretty unfortunate, since I remember him vaguely, but I remember him as a really cool guy. But, my mom adopted her and her sister Stella, so they lived with us, mom and me and my sister, Suzy."  


"Suzy."  


Brian looked at him a little defensively. "Yeah, Suzy."  


Legolas felt a strange pit forming in his stomach, and something was clinging to the tip of tongue, as though he were trying to remember something. _Suzy?_ he thought, feeling embarrassed. _I am trying to remember something about a woman called Suzy?_ Legolas mentally brushed the idea away, and floundered for an excuse as to his repetition of the name.   


"I like that name," he said blandly, adding in a persuasive grin.  


Brian let down his guard. "Yeah, s'cute, i'n't it?" He rolled his eyes in mock anger. "Oh and she'll be sure you know she knows she's the cutest thing ever, too." Brian shook his head, playfully, smiling. Suddenly, he turned around to see who had opened the door to the porch. It was as though the girl in his earlier description of Rosalind had walked out of his imagery and onto the porch with them. "Hey, girl!" Brian called to her, and she smiled tightly, but simultaneously, genuinely.   


She approached them in small quick steps, and Legolas found himself standing and gesturing to his chair. Rosalind gave him the same sweet, tight smile, and sat down. Legolas tried not to stare, but he felt his heart jump a little with hope. _Now here is someone who looks like they would understand me,_ Legolas thought. Her face was young and beautiful, but ageless, like that of an elven maiden. Her pale blonde hair was very long, and cascaded down her in waves. She was wearing a long white skirt, and a long sleeved white shirt, with a black lace up corset over it, and it was then that Legolas realized the extensiveness of her "corsetting" endeavors, that had shocked Brian; her waist was indeed the smallest Legolas had ever seen on a human woman. In perfect accordance with Brian's description, she had large brown eyes, not too big for her face, like Luthien's had been (Legolas felt a strange shiver work it's way down his spine at the mental reminder of her), but soft, and knowing--wise. Her skin, also as Brian had alluded to, was indeed very pale, and quite flawless.   


"Hello, Brian, and hello," she said, to Brian and Legolas. "I'm called Rosalind," she said to Legolas, and held out her hand out for him to kiss, which he did. This seemed to be a scene of hilarity to Brian, and he spent the next several seconds slapping his knee and laughing. Rosalind simply smiled at them both, and indicated a nearby chair. Legolas pulled it up to the table, and sat down.   


"My name is Legolas," he told her, entirely sure of himself, for once this week.  


She smiled at him. "That's lovely," she said genuinely. She turned to Brian. "Fancy seeing you here," she said, with a small and joking grin.   


"Don't I know it, girl?" Brian laughed. "Thought I'd never see you again." They both laughed, with Rosalind, very lady-like, covering her mouth with her hand.   


Rosalind waited for the laughter to end, then turned again to Brian. "I cannot stay too long; I have my lessons to attend to. And besides, I would not have you abandon your former company," she said, indicating Legolas with a smile.   


Brian looked as though he wanted to protest, but held back. "Yeah," he finally decided.  


Rosalind smiled at him, then Legolas. "You don't go to our school," she stated matter-of-factly.  


Legolas shook his head.   


"You're not even from around here," she said, to which Legolas readily agreed. "And you do wish more people knew that," she added, eyeing him, but still smiling her small smile.   


Legolas assumed that Goths must have a certain degree of mind powers.   


As though to confirm this, yet deny it, Rosalind put forth the statement, "Ah yes, I wish I could see what people were thinking," she said, stealing a nearly unseen glance at Brian, "but no, I cannot." She looked around her, and sighed. "I'm just very observative, and I take what people say and express in their paralinguistics and nonverbals to heart." She giggled behind her hand again, and admitted somewhat guiltily, "I'm sorry, that is a little of my love of psychology shining through."   


Brian nodded excitedly to Legolas. "She knows how to hypnotize people!" He touched her arm and cried, "Tell, him Rosalind!"  


Rosalind shook her head, as though embarrassed. "Oh, I'm still learning, and I'm not that great. But yes," she directed her words back at Legolas, "I am being instructed in the art of hypnosis. It is very interesting, as one might guess, but harder than it looks."  


Legolas thought carefully about how to word his inquiry. "What is hypnosis?" he asked.  


Rosalind looked happy to have an avid listener. "Well," she began, "mainly it is the undercovering of the being's subconscience while they are themselves in an altered state of conscience." Legolas nodded, soaking in the information. "But it's not all staged, like it used to be. It's actually still banned in some places you know..." she stated wisely. "The fakers got rather rampant, and had to be, ahem, canned." At this, Rosalind sniffed and looked away.   


"Canned," Brian giggled, and nudged her knee with his. "That's a good one, girl." 

Rosalind looked a little guilty, having used such a slang term, but a sideways smile crept onto her lips. Legolas recognized the exchange between the two young humans, and cast a gentle look at them. _At least in this world, falling in love is still an ever-constant,_ he thought to himself.   


"You oughta hypnotize somebody for us sometime, Rosalind!" Brian still couldn't understand why not everyone was as excited about the prospect as he was. Didn't they get it?  


"Yes, perhaps one day," Rosalind said to him, patting his hand. Legolas smiled again. Rosalind then stood. "But at the present moment, I must be on my way," she announced.   


"Awww," Brian lamented. "Where do you gotta rush off to so fast?"  


"Remember?" she said, walking away, and ruffling his curly hair as she went. "Cello lessons." She then waved and hurried back inside.   


"Bye, girl!" Brian hollered over his shoulder, his obnoxious farewell missing her entirely. Legolas was once more reminded of Bear. "Great, i'n't she?" Brian exclaimed to Legolas, crossing his legs and leaning forward enthusiastically, as though he was expecting a great answer.  


Legolas looked into his happy young face, and gained some hope for his own. "Sure," he assured Brian. "Just great."  


* * *

a/n: i suppose that ought to do it. i know it gets annoying with all the new characters, but i promise -- all will have a bearing on the ending!  



	24. The House of Brian and Sandy

a/n: ok, stuffs going pretty good i guess, i'm not sure how many chapters are left in this, but not many. I estimate 10 at least, 15 at most. but it's winter and winter is manic time. so we've got time... loads of time. and energy. ever since eric and i (my "exclusive" friend, not my boyfriend) aren't seeing each other anymore, time seems to be of abundance to me. hmmm.. well here we go.  


* * *

Brian went on for a while longer about the extent of Rosalind's greatness, to which Legolas honestly agreed. She was a rather fascinating maid, and Legolas felt that she was the closest to understanding him than anyone else he had encountered; even with the mere surface scratching conversation they'd had.   


"Well, anyways, enough about that," Brian finally concluded, at the end of his (near) soliloquy. He stood up, with conviction. "Well, I hate to run out on you bud, since you look kinda lonely, but I'd best get my ass outta here before all the middle school kids get out and raid the place." He visibly shuddered, laughing.   


Legolas also stood, although he didn't know where he was going to go. But suddenly a wave of panic struck him. He couldn't be stuck up here, and he figured Marie would not be through working at this tavern until far into the night.   


Brian looked considerate: "Do you wanna come with me? I'm just goin home, but you can come over if ya want. We got the stuff at my house to make tacos, that's what I was gonna do."  


Legolas assumed tacos were food, and although he wasn't hungry yet, he knew he should accept the invitation. "That sounds lovely," he said.  


"No, I really can cook!" Brian insisted. _How come no one ever believes me?_ he lamented to himself.  


"I did not say you couldn't," Legolas replied calmly. He had grown more than accustomed to everyone misinterpreting his words.   


"Alright then, it's a date!" Brian proclaimed, headed towards the door.   


Legolas followed him in, but headed towards Marie at the counter. Brian stopped. "Do you mind if I bid farewell to my friend?" he asked.  


"Bid away." Brian waited at the condiments counter, fooling with the straws. In the process, he knocked over a bucket of sugar packets. _Oopsie daisies,_ he thought, wandering away, _nobody saw that!_  


"Marie?" She turned around.   


"Oh hey, Doug," she said, blending a frap. _He looks better than he did,_ she thought hopefully. "You feelin any better?"  
  


Marie calculated this. "You met Sandy's brother?"   


"Yes."  


"Up here?"  


"Yes," he told her, and pointed to Brian.  


"Hm," Marie said, craning her neck to see him. She spotted him screwing up the CD display. "Must be steps, they look nothing alike."  


"I suppose. I will see you in the future," Legolas said, walking backwards towards Brian and waving.  


"Ha, yeah, guess so!" Marie laughed.   


Legolas shrugged at her response, then turned to Brian. "Brian? Are you ready to leave?"  


Brian started, suprised, and dropped the CD he had been looking at. "Oh! Yeah, I uh, hold on," he muttered, picking the CD up, and cramming it into one of the slots. From the counter, Marie smiled and rolled her eyes.   


Legolas and Brian went out to his truck, and got in. "I'm gonna have to get Rosalind to check out my truck," Brian informed Legolas as they shut the doors. He turned the key in the ignition, and slapped at the radio before the music could even be audible. "When I stop at lights, if I'm idle for too long, when I pull away it smokes like a damn bonfire." He swelled a little. "I'm sure Rosalind can figure it out," he said, looking as sure as he sounded.   


Legolas granted him a nod and a smile, then looked out the window as they pulled away. This was his first ride in a 'truck.' It was not so bad. He actually felt safer, a little higher off the ground. He also figured that were they to crash into another car, they would be triumphant as they were larger. Brian interuppted his thoughts.  


"You like Modest Mouse?"   


"To be honest, I do not know it," Legolas admitted.   


"Cool, they're awesome. I'm sure you'll love 'em." Brian pushed a button, and adjusted a dial, until some music was audible... then he adjusted it a little more. The music was then much more than audible.   


However, Legolas found that the music was rather enjoyable, aside from the fact that the man singing had a tremendously abhorable voice. (Legolas assumed that was why this man could more than afford to take on the title of modest.) But the words were interesting enough to hold his attention:  


'everything that keeps me together is falling apart  
i've got this thing that i consider my only art  
of fucking people over  
my boss just quit the job says he's going out to  
find blind spots  
and he'll do it.'  
  
It seemed to tie together everything that he had been exposed to in the last few days. The mention of bosses and quitting a job made him think of Shawn, and the mention of that word 'fuck' reminded him strongly of Jane and Bear. But most of all, he was struck by the first words - "everything that keeps me together is falling apart." _I know exactly how you feel,_ Legolas said inwardly to the voice.   


They drove along, with the occasional word to one another. Other than that, the modest mouse was the only sound. They turned onto a road that lead them into a neighbourhood not too far from Shawn's; a sign on the outskirts of the small village prolaimed it "TERRANOVA." Legolas wondered why all the homes, though some very large and stately, were naught but sometimes a few arms-lengths away from one another. He supposed it must be a very friendly and closely-knit community. Perhaps a tribe of some sort. This made him again wonder of the Ramones.  


"Do you know the Ramones?" he asked Brian.  


Brian sniffed and looked amused. "Well, duh, Sherlock, who doesn't?" He laughed. "Now if you're askin' if i like them, the answer to that would be a big fat um, NO?" Brian ended, looking at Legolas comically. Legolas stared at him.   


"What did they ever do to you? Are your kind at war with them?" Legolas wondered aloud.  


"What, emo kids? Not really. I mean, emo's got it's roots in punk. Don't you already know this?" Brian asked, looking at him suspiciously. Legolas swiftly shook his head. "Well, crap, bud! I figured you were as emo as anyother kid in a sweater and Chucks!" He paused, expecting a reply, but there was none. "Well?" he threw out, kind of giving up. Legolas looked at him, hoping he would go on, but he didn't.   


Now he only had more to wonder about. He decided punk and the Ramones must be somewhat synonymous. And he felt a little guilty, having been found out about his not being emo. _How deceitful I must appear to be!_ he thought shamefully. But Brian did not appear to be too upset, so Legolas did not trouble himself too much with it. He gazed out the window, and then Brian turned the vehicle towards a small house, then stopped. He turned it off; Legolas mimicked his actions in turning the key to the left. _In the case that I would ever have to operate or at most turn one of these creatures on,_ he told himself. They opened their doors, and exited. Walking up the gravel path, Brian turned to Legolas.  


"My sister's car idn't here, so I'm guessing she idn't, either. But you still got me, bud!" Brian exlaimed, looking happy and holding out his arms. Legolas looked at him.  


_Guess he doesn't like hugs,_ mused Brian. "Whatever," he said, his happiness from seeing Rosalind not to be spoiled. "Anyways," he went on cheerfully, unlocking the front door, "Stella's car is here, you'll meet her. Remember that's Sandy's little sister. She's really my little sister, too, she just looks more like Sandy," he noted jokingly, nudging Legolas--who obligingly smiled. "She's a junior at Klein. Suzy's a freshman."   


Legolas shrugged.   


Brian shrugged as well. "Just tellin' ya, bud. I mean, I dunno how old you are."   


Legolas looked up--this reminded him. "Do _you_ think I look 22?" he asked.   


Brian drew back from him. "NO JOKE, bud?" he laughed. "You're 22? Man! I didn't figure you were still in high school, but I didn't figure you were 22!" He shook his head. "I mean, you told me you knew Sandy, she's 18, i figured..." Brian trailed off, and shook his head. "Well, whatever!" he concluded, still jolly. Legolas shrugged.   


_Apparently, I could pass for even younger than 22,_ he mused. Brian, for the moment back on task, reached for the door knob, but before his hand even reached it, the door was flung open by a girl who strikingly resembled Sandy.   


"HEY BRIAN!" she screeched. "Guess what??!!" Legolas smiled but flinched at her squealing. _This must be Stella,_ he concluded, watching her jump up and down and holding several parcels wrapped in brown paper.   


Brian's face lit up with excitement. "You got all As in all your classes!"  


Stella stopped hopping, and looked tentative. "Uhhh... no. Guess again!"  


"You saw a UFO and aliens came out and took your into their space craft, then flew you over the Bermuda Triangle where you were deposited into a time space warp that put you back into Biology class, then having sat through it twice, you made an A on your quiz?"  


Stella looked awed, then held up her hand slowly, which Brian slowly clapped his against. "Nice one, man! _Nice!_" she complemented him.  


"I know, right?" Brian said, please with himself. "So what's up?" He and Legolas walked in, and shut the door.   


Stella thrust the parcels in his face. "My stuff came today!" she screeched.   


They headed into the den, and took seats on the couches. "I can see that," Brian told her. "Whatcha got there?" he asked, snatching away the parcels. She snatched them back.   


"NO!" she wailed. "I have to open them!" She ran from the room, and returned with a unnecessarily large knife, and Legolas knew his eyes visibly widened. "Oh, sorry, I'm Stella," she said apologetically, setting down the knife.   


"I'm called Legolas."  


"Nice French grammar there," she mumbled, picking the knife up, and shooting him a coy grin. She began to open the packages, and her tongue stuck out with concentration.   


"Legolas here is a friend of good ol' Sandy's," Brian informed her. Stella looked up with interest.   


"Oh is he?"   


"Indeed he is," Brian proclaimed, looking proud.   


"Well, she'll be here in a sec, she just called. She's on her way home," Stelly informed them. She finally opened the last of the parcels, and ran over to the couch where Legolas and Brian were sitting, and plopped down between them. "OK, boys, here's what we got." She sorted through, and brought out several items. "First, we got my Rainer Maria shirt, hooray!" she cried, holding it up. "Next, we got my Mates of State CD, 'Our Constant Concern.'"  


"AWESOME!" Brian hollered, and made a grab for it, but she was too quick for him, and held it away.   


"It's mine, fruit loop! OK, then let's see... Oh yeah, look! My Belle and Sebastian LP! It's 'Storytelling,' you know, the soundtrack they did?"   


"Yeah! But why'd you get it on record?"  


"Dunno, Brian, that was what they had on eBay! Don't ask dumb ass questions." Brian shrugged. "OK, then, oh yeah! I got my French copy of When I Was Five I Killed Myself, only in France, they just call it Burt. Awesome, huh? I love this book!"  


"That is an awesome book. Have you read it, bud?" Brian asked, leaning around Stella to look at Legolas. Legolas shook his head hurriedly. It sounded awful!  


"Well, you should. It's awesome," Stella assured him. He shrugged. "What do you read?" He shrugged again. "The Bible?" she asked, half-jokingly.   


"I've never heard of it," he told her.  


Brian and Stella looked at each other and giggled. "Uh, whatever, bud," Brian said.   


Stella felt uncomfortable, and decided it was time for a subject-change. "Hey, Bri, weren't you gonna make tacos tonight?"   


"Well, yes I was!" he exclaimed, cheerfully, ruffling her hair as he jumped up and ran into what Legolas assumed was the galley. "Hey, bud! Legolas!" he hollered.  


"Yes?" Legolas replied, not even bothering to raise his voice. It was not as though the home was all that large.   


"Tomorrow's senior skip day, cool, huh?"  


"I have no idea of what you speak."   


"Tell 'em, Stell-em!" Brian hollered back, and giggled.   


"Senior skip day is when, well," Stella wrinkled her nose and gave a pixie-like grin, "seniors get to miss school."   


"I see," Legolas said, smiling back. He supposed that was why Brian was so excited. Although, he himself thought it quite a waste. Why would one not desire to take every possible opportunity to learn? Perhaps he had been endowed with poor teachers--it would be the only reason for not wanting to learn. He told himself he would have to remember to ask Brian about this later.   


"Well anyways," Brian continued, "I get to go to a show tonight, since I don't have school tomorrow. AND!" He ran into the room and paused dramatically.  


"Guess what we're going to see?" Stella interjected just as dramatically, as if rehearsed.  


Legolas eyed them both. _It can't run in the family, seeing as how they are not blood related,_ he pondered.  


"HALEY BONAR!" they shouted in unison. Legolas looked alarm.  


The front door opened and closed, and in walked Sandy. "Hey, what the hay!" she shouted cheerfully, and dashed for Legolas. Before he could scoot away, she'd jumped on the couch next to him and was giving him a huge hug. "Where did you come from, Doug?" she asked, getting off the couch and walking into the kitchen. "Which one of these hooligans do you know?"  


"I am sorry, Sandy, but I cannot hear you when you are in the galley," he told her politely.  


She walked out of the kitchen. "The what?"  


"He knows me!" Brian called to her, as he began cooking the taco meat.   


"Oh, do you?" Sandy came and sat by him. "You going to the show with us tonight? Haley Bonar? I heard these fruit loops screamin' about it when I came in, but I didn't know what was goin' on."  


"Is Bear going?" Legolas asked.  


Sandy looked shocked at the notion. "Oh, hell, no! Bear would fall asleep!" She looked off dreamily for a moment, then looked back at Legolas. "So, you goin'? You can have my ticket, I'm too tired."  


"Sandy!" Stella whined. "You said you were going to go!"  


Sandy rolled her eyes and looked distressed. "I know......" she lamented. "But I'm just so tired!"  


"Well," Stella pouted. "Fine. Legolas can go with us."  


"Who's Legolas?" Sandy asked, confused. "You mean Douglas?"  


"I mean _Legolas_," Stella repeated, indignant. Legolas looked from side to side at the sisters. Their lightly freckled, snubby faces were nearly identical, and they both set their jaws and narrowed their eyes. Suddenly, they both looked at him.  


"What's your name?" they asked him. Legolas felt threatened.  


Not wanting to betray either girl's trust, he said the only thing he could think of: "My name is Legolas, but there are some who call me Douglas."  


The girls looked at each other, reached some agreement between their eyes, and Legolas let himself breathe again.  


"These tacos are about to be ready!" Brian bellowed. The girls squealed, and ran in the kitchen, with Legolas only a few steps behind.   


* * *

a/n: wow, it is so much later. why do i have no sense of committment. and now i'm going off on tangents! yikes! oh well. enjoy! oh and guess what. my fiance and i are going to be married in the next two months. hooray for steve and i! hip hip hooray!  



End file.
